Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Today is a solo show!!Takeaways from the show Self care matters Surrendering to the things you can’t control How letting go can change your experience The healing of meditation Being in the present moment Anchoring yourself while also being on the edge of your vulnerability Facing the unknown and creating a sense of security Human tendencies getting in the way of being okay with fear Possibilities of the unknown How narratives can be confining Control is an illusion Being with the fact that the future is uncertain The present moment is the only place where change happens Creating a practice of returning to presence Unconsciousness vs. consciousness See you next week! :)For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Connie Fuetz is a clinician with over 35 years of clinical experience who specializes in working with couples and is one of the six original Master Clinicians invited into the Gottman Institute in 2000, John Gottman has called Connie "an extraordinarily-gifted couples counselor" to whom he would send his own family.  After leading the two-day Art and Science of Love workshops in Chicago for years, Connie created her own one-day workshop for couples called the Mindful Couples Workshop, which she led for years in Bellingham WA and Victoria BC. She has expanded that course into a 5-week online course for couples, called A Mindful Love Course. A couple's workshop you can do from the comfort of your own home.Connie feels blessed and honoured in her work alongside couples. A resident of the Northwest for 35 years, she lives in gorgeous Bellingham WA with her family. Takeaways from the show: The depth of couples therapy can be challenging and profound Both parties are responsible for change in therapy Focusing on your relationship with your partner will help your teen Why mindfulness is so important in our intimate relationships Tools to help you choose in to your partner How marathon intensive therapy is helpful Not engaging when flooding Naming the negative interactive cycle that happens when we’re in distress Prompting a healing conversation Having humility and vulnerability in conversations with your partner Making sure the message of love gets through How the pandemic has been causing stress in households Dealing with perpetual issues in a different way because of COVID Setting the context for the spirit of intention How dedicating little bits of time to your relationship will keep it alive Switching from a business type of relationship to a romantic one Using persuasion in a safe way The importance of being on equal ground with your partner Learning your partner’s love language For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show!Takeaways from the show Thoughts about the Social Dilemma movie How big social media platforms are using the users Our attention is the product online Conversation starters around screen use Creating an environment where checking in is a normal thing What to expect from the screens and teens summit The mixed feelings around social media Juggling the things life throws at us How do we make room to fall apart Crying releases stress The trauma of the pandemic Having compassion for your teens All problems are relative, no matter how “small” Giving yourself space to grieve and release energy Taking time to care for yourself In order to change your experience, you have to recognize what’s happening The normality of struggle right now Recognize your wallowing  Being in the practice of moving forward See you next week!For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ned Johnson is president & founder PrepMatters, an educational company providing academic tutoring, educational planning, and standardized test preparation.A battle-tested veteran in the fields of test preparation, anxiety management, and student performance, Ned has been a professional “tutor-geek” since 1993, with more than 40,000 one-on-one hours helping students conquer an alphabet of standardized tests and reach their full potential.In 2018, Ned co-authored, With Dr. William Stixrude, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Their book explores how fostering children’s autonomy can help solve two challenges endemic to kids today: facing anxiety and developing intrinsic motivation. Ned is a sought-after speaker and teen coach on study skills, sleep deprivation, parent-teen dynamics, and test anxiety, and his work is featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, BBC, and many others.Takeaways from the show Supporting our kids in stepping into their autonomy How to let go of control and have faith our teens know what to do Teaching your kids to be resilient and able to tolerate stress Leading your kids to intrinsic motivation What is a healthy sense of control The brain’s experience with stress Releasing the expectation of competency all the time How autonomy looks in a pandemic Alternate routes of education How passionately pursuing pastimes is most major contributor to intrinsic motivation Being sympathetic to our kids and ourselves The time it takes teen’s brains to fully develop varys Going through hard things gives us strength The teenage experience overlapping with the pandemic Teens crave relatedness Connect with your kids through what they love Reminding yourself as a parent, your job isn’t to make your kids care Having sympathetic conversations with your kids Being able to just be with our kids when they’re having a hard time For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show straight from my journal!Thank you to the patrons who were watching the livestream with me - I love speaking to a live audience!Takeaways from the show: Our experiences with the state of the world Thoughts from Casey’s journal Personal transformations through the world’s disarray  Choosing self time when you’re moody What you’re feeling now is valid and you have a choice to how you show up with it Being worried about the future because kids don’t have as much motivation for school Shifting your mindset when worry shows up How traditional schooling can change False illusions that you can plan your child’s future Conversations around nurturing motivation How we respond to events and experiences in our life is the only thing we have control over The divine nature of the parent-child relationship  Spirituality fitting into the parenting conversation Life is happening for you Considering the human you are continuing to become Internal experiences can influence the outside experience Our soul is calling for growth Trying on the lens of self-reflection  For more shownotes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Michelle Bowen is a parent empowerment coach, entrepreneur and mother to a child who she gave birth to at the early stages of her awakening. The only way for Michelle to continue to further expand in her awakening was to utilize her relationship with her child. Your Child is Your Guide was birthed from her own process with her child that brought about an enormous transformation in her own life. In her practice, she specializes in guiding you to the realization of the divinity of your child and your relationship with them which initiates a level of accountability that aids in the acceleration of both your healing and actualization. Michelle learned that her child was her guide and provides you with guidance and applicable practices that allow you to see the same. The courses created by Michelle along with her other offerings show you how to achieve the actualization of the unconditionally loving relationship you want with your children. Michelle's story of coming into motherhood Spiritual teachers that influenced Michelle How her baby brought up places for Michelle to grow Michelle explains what “being awakened” means to her Learning how to unconditionally love ourselves as we parent our children How our relationships with our children are divine “co-creations” How parenthood highlights our conditioning The difference between resistance vs being open to learning about yourself on the parenting journey The messiness of the practice Trying something new can feel uncomfortable and awkward  Shifting from our children’s behavior triggering us to our children’s behavior triggers our CONDITIONING and places we still have yet to heal Michelle talks a bit about current racial unrest and her experience of being raised by immigrant parents The message of unity Speaking up speaking out even when it is uncomfortable For more shownotes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

TODAY IS A SOLO SHOW!I am so excited to be back here with you all… What a summer. I am so excited to reconnect and reset for the coming months, and to let you know what to expect for me, the community and the podcastBefore I get into it… Patreon patreon/com/joyfulcourage Livestreaming Monthly group calls Join us!! The Risky Behavior and Teens summit was AMAZING – thank you to my guests and everyone who registered – If you missed it, go to www.joyfulcourage.com/summit-shop and check it out – you can also see and purchase past summits that you may have missed.For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is a solo show from me… And I am sharing some personal thoughts and plans for Joyful Courage and what to expect through the summer and into the fall.What a wild first half of 2020 Covid 19 Quarantine School from home Personal struggles Racial uprising…. Stay tuned for a way that you can support a powerful black woman owned biz in the coming weeks <3 Timid opening up of the country and approaching summer I am taking a break from the podcast Revisit my mission Yes parenting, but how can it look so that I am also acknowledging/uplifting non-white voices? There are a LOT of white parenting educators – talk about Leslie’s post calling out white parent educators Really get clear on what I want to bring you next fall Tighten up my vision for Joyful Courage Working on the Risky Behavior Mini Summit Recording the interviews – AMAZING Creating the systems Working on the marketing Putting together another 6 week class Actually LOVING teaching through zoom, the current class has parents from all over the US Focusing on my clients One on one coaching Find out more at www.joyfulcourage.com/coaching Focusing on my family As you know…. Cancer Teenagers Hard to step away Don’t want to let anyone down Don’t want you to forget about me Don’t want to lose this communication tool…. AND FB groups IG Newsletter (biweekly) joyfulcourage.com/join   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s guest is Vivek Patel. Vivek is a conscious parenting educator who works with families to help create more harmony and connection in their homes. He has dedicated his life to spreading awareness and supporting change in schools. He's worked with youth organizations teaching conflict resolution anti bullying and leadership through movement martial arts and dance. As a conscious parenting educator, he has written hundreds of articles and has 60 parenting videos, you can find his writing on Facebook, the meaningful ideas website and YouTube. We are discussing how to take current events and bring the learning into the home. Join us! " Being anti-racist...It's a mindset that we look at the world through that we analyze the systems that we engage in with, that we listen to language with, and, and everything from media and advertising to government systems to educational systems, the correction system, the legal system, the financial system, the housing system, everything.”“ From the micro to the macro, being willing to look at those things and see look for look at and look for the inequities, to be willing to see them inside yourself and and other people and the systems and the anti racist part of it is to be doing something to actively change it.”“When we lift up the people that are oppressed, all of us benefit from it.” “Conscious parenting is cycle breaking” What you’ll hear in this episode: Why conscious parenting? Vivek’s activism journey What it means to be anti-racist From micro to macro, reflecting on self and systems The role of self-love and compassion The power of coming together Celebrating the discomfort Opening ourselves up for better relationships and interactions Our parenting relationship and our influence around topics of race Moving away from perfectionism and embracing the practice of becoming anti-racist Conscious parenting as cycle breaking Should we shield our kids from the pain of the world? Kids and fairness: leveraging their intuition towards acts of changemaking Why you need to do your own work, face our own fears and where to start Six relationships that drive change Modelling anti-racism for our kids Zooming in, zooming out, and condoning bad behavior Modelling our use of power, how we engage with power and why it’s important Control and consent in parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Solo show – last minute decision to wait on the conversation that I was going to air today….Today I am going to talk about chores and allowanceThere was a post from a mom in on of the Joyful Courage FB groups a few weeks ago reflecting on how it was time for her 11 and 5 year old to begin chores and allowance. The comments were a range of advice, with many parents speaking into separating chores from allowance. I promised the group that I would speak into this on the podcast.Before I do though, I want to say that you get to take this information and make it your own, right? You get to decide what is best for YOUR family when it comes to chores and allowance. I also acknowledge that being able to give our children and allowance isn’t something that everyone can do. Please listen for the underlying spirit instead of listening thinking there is a “right” way to do this.Also, I want you to notice if you are listening though the filter of “my kids won/t…” or “what happens if they don’t…” or you will miss the message.There is a level of significance and mattering that shows up when our kids are expected to be in contribution. Trust that. Trust them.So chores – contributions/family work So much online for age appropriate chores They are enthusiastic when young although it may be a challenge for us Less enthusiastic when older which is also challenging Have a plan, be explicitCo-creating routines Daily Weekly Family house cleaning party Check in on how it’s working (family meeting) Tweak as necessary Inside the plan be explicit about what is a “completed job” and when it needs to be done byTake time to train: You do the task while child watches You do the task together Child does task while you watch Child does the task independently Fold this into the fabric of your family Don’t be rigid Ask for their ideasAllowance – we don’t pay for chores…. Story about rowan and ian“yeah but” – typically don’t need to threat or reward – and will be explicit “your jobs need to be done before you leave the house/jump on a screen/lunchtime/etc”We don’t pay for chores.We started giving the kids a small allowance when they were young so that they had money to learn to manage. Save Give Spend As they got older, their allowance increased and what we would pay for decreased Time out in the world with friends Haricuts Cosmetics Shoes (Ian is obsessed) Resources: Amy McCreedy on Joyful Courage Eps 62 – Teaching our Kids Money Sense The opposite of spoiled by Ron Lieber Montessori guide to age appropriate chores (handout online)Build relationship. Build relationship. Build relationship.Create an agreement around chores:“I have a problem and I need your help” There is a lot to do and you need ot help out Brainstorm a list of things to do around the house This week, pick one a day Thank you for following through OR I noticed you haven’t followed through, please get that done Tweak as necessary You’ve got this friend! Let me now what you put into practice and any questions or feedback that you have. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices