Eps 191: Back to the Basics of Positive Discipline

Hey friends! 

Can’t believe that it is nearly halfway through June!

-      Book launch – IG Giveaway

-      JCA Teens program

-      NASAP and TP

-      Looking ahead at the summer

-      Planning for next fall

o  More JCA Teens

o  Possible JCA Tweens/Preteens

o  Live workshops/classes

Today I want to get back to basics.

I am a Positive Discipline Trainer. My recent time in Tucson at NASAP and co-facilitating the TP has brought me back to the building blocks of positive discipline…. I am also finding myself on exploratory calls with new clients who are eager to do one on one work and looking for resources to share what the philosophy of PD is all about, with the Joyful Courage spin, or course.

So, I decided I would do a show about it. I am excited to share, and if you are someone who feels like you know all about PD, I invite you to listen from a place of curiosity and wonder – to catch yourself when you think “I know all of this” and shift into “what is here for me to learn?”

 Because that is one of my favorite things about this work – there are so many layers. Right when I think “oh yeah, NOW I get it” life throws me something new, or my kids step into a new place of development, or I just simply find myself back in my old ways of thinking (because it is so darn familiar) and I realize, yet again, that there is more to learn….

Excited? Me too.

A lot of people hear the words, Positive Discipline and assume that it is all about being nice while we dole out consequences to our kids. Or they get really stuck on the word “positive “ and think it is all about being permissive and letting our kids run the show. Some people mistakenly believe that PD parents don’t ever want their kids to feel bad, and perhaps lump PD with helicoptering, coddling or enabling our kids.

 This is totally NOT what PD is all about. To start, one thing I really appreciate about Positive Discipline is that it is a program that has it’s roots in Adlerian Psychology. Alfred Adler was one of the first social psychologists. He worked with individuals and families and found, time and time again, that human behavior was motivated by a sense of belonging and significance. He found that we are always moving towards, or moving from, our sense of connection and knowing that we matter. And when behavior starts to look like mischief, it can be linked back to the individuals perception of belonging and significance. Jane Nelsen, the author and co-author of the library of Positive Discipline books, talks about belonging and significance as our longing for love and responsibility.

-      Kind and firm

-      Belonging and significance

-      Mutual respect/dignity for all

-      Encouragement

-      Social interest

-      Take time for training

-      The courage to be imperfect/mistakes as opportunities to learn

-      We always have a choice

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