

Not For Everyone
Not For Everyone
Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by a hater (Caroline Winkler) and a lover (Jess DeBakey). We're just two sweet kooks getting carried away being ourselves, waxing poetic on every topic we care too much about. Come for the humor, stay for the honesty. We know we’re not for everyone, but we bet we are for you.
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Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod
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Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod
Episodes
Mentioned books

May 4, 2023 • 48min
22. Hater Hour: Ways I’m Furious with Myself and with Society
Introducing Hater Hour - like happy hour but weirder and darker and probably happening at 2am. With Jess out sick, Caroline takes on her FIRST EVER solo podcast episode, responding to a bunch of listener-submitted topics as she yearns for her mommy alone in her apartment.
First, a very personal look into Caroline's relationship with her deepest, darkest complex and how she thinks about negative self talk. She's getting more comfortable with the idea that the things that made her the way she is might just be a part of her, and that's allowed; self acceptance can be freeing compared with the never-ending quest for self improvement.
Next, reacting to your petty complaints and weirds turn-ons; honestly, you kooks need help. Do NOT let Caroline catch you making this one particular grammatical faux pas, unless you truly have a death wish. Then, a DM about pick-me girls turns into a story about Halsey and an admission that women judge each other unfairly. And finally, how Caroline thinks about measuring success as a content creator, knowing that doing it for views can't be her answer.
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In this episode, Caroline references her therapist Nancy Colier's book: The Emotionally Exhausted Woman - There's an audiobook @Jess!
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Apr 27, 2023 • 1h 3min
21. Not for the Cottage Cheese Lobby
Jess and Caroline unknowingly both show up to this episode with the same thoughts a-brewing underneath the surface, so a conversation about their dads' different takes on jokes quickly turns into a deeply intimate conversation. Caroline shares her ongoing struggle to separate her self worth from the quality of her interactions with other people, and Jess meets her right there, opening up about her people pleasing tendencies as tied to a fear of abandonment. They go back and forth about this pressure to perform or deliver in every social situation, and unpack the question that both of their therapists have offered on the matter: what if you didn't actually have to do anything?
Moving right along: a petty complaint about "cultured" food trends like prebiotic sodas and cottage cheese, a quick question for Bugs Bunny, a dating update from Caroline, and a bone to pick with reality show podcasts from Jess.
Basically, we’re scientists, and this is just an experiment where we explore all the things we’re doing wrong. Don’t steal our alternate podcast names/taglines, or maybe do, whatever, wdk.
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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
@abinewhouse
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Apr 20, 2023 • 1h 2min
20. WHATADO: Vanity, Trust Issues, and Spreading 'Em
This week Caroline and Jess are recording TOGETHER IN THE FLESH, and you'll hear our excitement right away. Yes, we know the sound quality suffered our first time with an in-person setup, but that's why 1) we're constantly saying we're not professionals and 2) our full episodes are posted on YouTube. If you stick around here though, we appreciate you, and we recommend you listen without headphones this week. Take in the chaos while driving or showering or cleaning the house. Force your roommate or partner to listen with you. Or kick out your kids for some solo NFE time.
In this one, we take on another round of WHATADOS (our term meaning listener-submitted questions for which we are unqualified to give advice). First, Caroline gets fired up about a relatable listener who wonders if it's wrong to want to look better to impress other people / for the male gaze. Then, Jess opens up about her ongoing plight to overcome trust issues in relationships.
We also talk about Jess's first time being recognized in public (ily Grace), Caroline's laser hair removal journey, and an oddly specific ick from Jess. The butt strip is the best thing in the whole wide world, and we are each a very different part of Fridays.
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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
@abinewhouse
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Apr 13, 2023 • 1h 5min
19. Not for Doing Life Together
Turns out the hater is a lover and the lover is a hater as Jess and Caroline reunite after a week apart. Caroline shares how her recent solo trip helped her rediscover her easygoing, minimal-complaint self; meanwhile, Jess unleashes a list of things she hates that she was just waiting to discuss with her brother king.
In her three-pronged takedown of the most recent [AI] Bachelor, Jess talks about why "being nice to waiters" is the most unoriginal and unhelpful criteria for picking a partner. She then describes the anger she feels when people use the phrase "do life together," and concludes with a quick roast of the word "cuss."
Caroline gives an update on the sweetie pie from her gym - henceforth known as My Little Pony - and Jess talks her through ways to casually ask him out. This leads into a conversation about chatting and making eye contact with strangers, and the giggly mess that sometimes follows.
In conclusion, the podcast can end now that Instagram's blue checkmarks can be bought; Jess has a book company anyway.
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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
@abinewhouse
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Apr 6, 2023 • 35min
18. Jess Thots: Not Always the Happy Camper
With Caroline out on vacation, we decide to add a solo episode option to our rotation, as Jess reprises her tried and true format from her Peaking days: Jess Thots. She opens up with a petty complaint to honor her long-lost co-host, then dives into a highly requested topic - finding yourself after moving to a new city. There's no quick hack like there is for creating tiny Ziploc bags, but she cites "fake it til you make it," "give yourself an out," and Google Maps lists as the best tools in her arsenal.
She then shares more about her recent experience going solo to her 10th ever John Mayer concert, and talks about how much of a flow she's in now that NFE is a part of her life. A nice lil deep dive into what's been on the lover's mind lately to keep y'all fed for another week.
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Mar 30, 2023 • 1h 17min
17. Not for Going Postal
In our first episode ON YOUTUBE, we channel our nervous energy into a bop-around of a ton of topics (as if that's any different from any other episode). Jess kicks it off with another dad story, sharing how the legend himself feels about an ongoing podcast topic: "What is DJ?" Turns out the answer has been right in front of us all along, and it's Lebanese disco jockeys.
From word mispronunciations to Jason Mraz to our hatred of over-scheduling and to-do lists, we giggle and pontificate further, continuing our conversation from last week about group hangs and the need for spontaneity. Maybe that's what will pull us out of this endless spiral that is washing our faces every day until we die.
Caroline counteracts all of her recent petty turn-offs with a new petty turn-on, then switches gears completely to explore her distrust of St. Jude's tragedy porn. We close with an idiom gone wrong (or right) and a discussion about holding people accountable for what they do to us in our dreams.
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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
@abinewhouse
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Mar 23, 2023 • 1h 7min
16. Not for the French Revolution
A classic Ron Burgundy teleprompter intro from Caroline leads the hater and lover right into a conversation about templates gone wrong and other work woes. We talk about the importance of viewing leaders as people and the shifts in work culture that are becoming more and more common in the last couple of years. This leads into a reflection on how the pandemic changed the way we socialize, as Jess shares her struggle with becoming more of an introvert recently. Caroline realizes that some of this has to do with a lack of group hangs, and they explore how to rebuild an outgoing (and content-giving) lifestyle.
They then pivot to sillier topics, with Jess sharing a new slogan she's using for her relationship branding, a story about her dad's retirement interests, and a return to an old "segment" - Not a Personality. Having a home with character doesn't give you character, and history is boring because it's not about us.
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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.
__
Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
@abinewhouse
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Mar 16, 2023 • 1h 8min
15. Not for Outside Opinions
For every ounce of passion and wisdom in this episode, there is an equal and opposite moment of mundanity and foolishness. It starts out like any other - checking in on how we've been feeling lately and questioning the utility of a perfectly harmless item (in this case, sleep pants). Things take a turn, though, when Caroline poses the question: "What would you do with your life if you made the amount of money you make today, guaranteed, without having to work?"
This launches us into one of the most personal and introspective conversations we've had on the podcast yet, as we each open up about our feelings on having kids. Hint: they're not the same, and they likely aren't the same as yours either. We both share how we've come to these realizations about ourselves, and explore the complexities of being completely clear on a topic like this given the weight of timelines and outside opinions. Caroline runs to Jess's rescue as she explains why she sometimes doubts herself on this issue, and it's just goddamn beautiful.
For an episode with such an important conversation at the crux of it, we then move on like it never happened, describing our most memorable drug experiences, offering a hack for sweaty feet, and revisiting Google Search History Shame for old time's sake.
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Mar 9, 2023 • 1h 20min
14. Not for the Cult of Harry Styles
Buckle up for the pure chaos of this episode after a more ~intentional~ one last week. Jess and Caroline talk about French class memories and calling their parents, before taking a sharp left turn into an analysis of the beloved Harry Styles. From there, it's celebrity sex lists, and to no one's surprise John Mayer is on Jess's and old turmoiled gentlemen are on Caroline's.
A story about a fuckboy of yore turns into a discussion about putting up with subpar treatment in relationships, comparing your relationship to others, and, naturally, the risk of a forehead kiss.
Why is it so difficult to mail out a package? What if stamps.com had its own podcast? Have you ever been hit on at the gym and did you respond like Santa Claus? How do you track down a stranger's full name and would you open a random airdrop from Caroline? These are the hard hitting questions we explore as we sign off yet again with fun and power.
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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.
__
Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
@abinewhouse
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Mar 2, 2023 • 1h 15min
13. For You: Turning the Wrong Career Into the Right One
We're back with another super personal topic deep-dive, this week talking all about careers. Shitty jobs, desperate times, quitting, moving, and chasing passion - we cover it all as Caroline and Jess have had very different, though thematically similar, career trajectories. So in this edition of the For You series, we share:
Details on each of our job histories and the lessons we've taken from every phase so far
Why buying yourself runway to pursue a passion is the only way to do it purely
How to separate your identity from your job when it comes to productivity and reputation
The power of keeping your nascent dreams to yourself
How to chase fear and tap into your intuition
This topic is so near and dear to us because it's so much of what brought us back together as friends and business partners today. So naturally, we overshare, we ramble, we scream, we want to hold hands... This conversation took us many places (much like our careers), but ultimately, fatefully, to each other. What a surreal feeling to create this episode - on the very day Caroline reached 400k YouTube subscribers! - with the hope of helping you.
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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.
__
Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
@abinewhouse
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!