10CBF: A Podcast for Blended Families

Today's guest is Dr. Sonia Cann-Milland! In her own words: "I have my own private practice that offers education and counselling to all those who are a part of a stepfamily. Before the establishment of Renewed Beliefs, I completed my Ph.D. titled; Establishing Stable Stepfamilies: The Perspectives of Recoupled Parents, Educators and Family Services Professionals. I have three articles published in academic journals related to three different issues impacting stepfamilies. I love research and writing on this topic. More importantly I am passionate about utilizing research in a practical way. My ongoing goal is to continue counselling stepfamilies and offering education to churches, schools, and professional service providers to give them a greater insight into effectively working and supporting stepfamilies. I have been counselling for over thirty years now and during that time realised I needed a greater understanding of the complexities of stepfamily life. Of course, my research has been of great benefit in giving me greater insight into the lives of stepfamilies. Being a mother of 28 yrs. And a stepmother of 15 years in my own stepfamily has taught me so much also. I have learnt much about myself and the complexities that come with our beautiful family. My husband and I are also, proud grandparents of two beautiful grandchildren. I do not see my stepfamily as two failed nuclear families remarrying, but simply a family formed differently to a nuclear family in which I am very proud." Dr. Cann-Milland is based in Australia, where she lives and has her practice. Quotes: "Role confusion made life difficult...I was defining myself through everyone else's eyes." "Treasuring your couple relationship is important--remember that your couple relationship is younger than your parenting relationship, and so it needs to be nurtured purposefully and regularly." LOVE (acronym for better understanding): Listen to learn-What does your partner want you to understand? Oneness-Focus on the shared value that is under threat Validate-Let your partner know that you've heard them Embrace-acknowledge where your partner is currently Resources: Books by Ron Deal https://www.amazon.com/stores/Ron-L.-Deal/author/B001IR1MA6?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamilies by Patricia Papernow https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Thriving-Stepfamily-Relationships-Doesnt-ebook/dp/B00G6MQLXQ https://www.renewedbeliefs.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sonia.cannmilland

Today's guest is Mark Reel, Jr.! Mark Reel Jr. is an entrepreneur, lawyer, and media personality. He is Founder of Reel Fathers Rights PLC, a Southern California Family Law Firm dedicated to representing fathers throughout California. He is licensed to practice law in the state of California. His practice focuses on representing fathers in Child Custody, Divorce, Domestic Violence & other family court matters. On top of his legal practice, Mark also runs a strategic consulting company named Law Firm Launch, focused on developing & optimizing sales processes both in & out of the legal industry. Mark is very active in advocating in the Equal & Shared Parenting space, including hosting his own weekly show “State of the Family Courts”, which is presented by The Fathers Rights Movement & broadcast to their 1.2 million social media followers each week and is available on all podcasting platforms. He also regularly appears on industry shows including Divorce Matters Podcast, The Show Up Dad Podcast & has contributed to TFRM’s show “Live with Rosa”. Prior to practicing law, Mark spent a decade as a sports & fitness industry executive, working for Major & Minor League baseball franchises, as a player agent/advisor & in sales & operations in the fitness industry. Co-Author of the soon-to-be-released book, The War on Dad, set to be released May 1st 2022. The book discusses the plight of the American father & the broken family court system. Listeners can get on the pre-order list at www.WarOnDad.com Websites/Links/Recommendations www.ReelFathersRights.com www.STATEoftheFAMILYCOURTS.com You can find Mark on Facebook, YouTube, Tik Tok & Instagram at “The Fathers Rights Attorney” www.sharedparenting.org Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Hurt-Me-Master-Your/dp/1544512287 Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, Dare to Lead by Brune Brown https://brenebrown.com/books-audio

Our guest today is Meg Burton Tudman! Meg Burton Tudman is on a mission to support stepmoms in honoring their highest selves through coaching, writing and speaking. Her specialty is holistic coaching for superwomen empowering them to align their mind, body and soul, so they can live a life they love. Meg weaves mindset, meditation, yoga, and Reiki into her online coaching programs, wellness articles, workshops, and corporate events. She has been featured by StepMom Magazine, Xerox Women’s Alliance, Finger Lakes Yogascapes, and Go Love Yourself.  Quotes: "Stepfamilies are complex and need support." "Mindset is at the root of my practice...to help women identify their beliefs and thoughts that are causing you to feel stuck." "How do I want to respond, and how do I want to frame this?" "Self-care is a series of choices." "Let your partner know what you need." "Take care of yourself first--you can't care for anyone else if you aren't well cared for." Links: Website: https://www.megburtontudman.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindsetmasterywithmeg/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MindsetMasteryWithMeg/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/megburtontudman  Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/megburtontudman  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0eUJrlMNXy4FQEOXkeVWUw StepMom Magazine: https://www.stepmommag.com/

Today's guest is Kelli Calabrese! Kelli Calabrese has been a fitness, nutrition, wellness and lifestyle professional and entrepreneur for 35 years. She has spoken on stages internationally, has 3 best selling books and has appeared on all of the major networks. Today, Kelli empowers women to overcome the fear, grief and rejection of divorce so they can heal, become resilient and build a fabulous bonus life. Links: http://www.kellicalabrese.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/intentionallyfabulous https://www.intentionallyfabulous.com/now?r_done=1 Quotes: "My lens for life is to let love win." "The ability to get back up matters." "Whatever is inside you comes out of you: anger or bitterness or peace, love, etc." "Imagine the year to come as if it's already happened, and allow yourself to dream: spend five minutes each day in the mirror; have an accountability partner; involve your kids as well." Resources: Chasing Failure by Ryan Leak Forgiving Forward by Bruce and Toni Hebel Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Speed of Trust by Franklin Covey The Body Keeps Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk

Today's guest is John Finch! John Finch grew up the youngest of 3 boys in a suburb of Dallas where he lost his father to suicide at age 11. As a young man, John did anything he could to avoid confronting the wounds he suffered as a result of being fatherless. His craving for affirmation from a father who was not there to provide it, led him to  seek that affirmation from the world in many unhealthy ways. In an attempt to find value as a man, he created a false persona that left him completely unfulfilled. His life was based on the pursuit of money in order to prove his success and he became a social alcoholic as he strived to be the life of every party and gain the attention of those around him. It was only when John realized and dealt with the unresolved issues of his father wound that he was able to become truly fulfilled. On April 20th, 2009, he finally came face to face with the issues that drove him to seek approval from a father who was not there to give it to him. By forgiving his father and recognizing what it truly means to be a man by God’s standard, he became a new man, husband and father.     John seeks to break down the barriers that prevent men and women from addressing deep rooted anger and hurt from the wounds they have suffered in this life by candidly and openly sharing his story, his failings, and his path to a new way of life. John’s mission is to educate, encourage and equip men to become the fathers they were created to be, and to help men walk in daily awareness of their significant and lifelong influence as fathers. Through The Father Effect Movie, John shares stories and messages that will move viewers to a new awareness about the everlasting impact of fathers and the importance of forgiveness and openness in the relationships of this world. John has been married for 23 years. has three daughters and lives in Denton, Texas. He is the founder of The Perfect Father Ministries Inc, a 501(c) non-profit and EncouragingDads.com, a community of people from all of the world who share short stories to encourage dads. Quotes:  "The way I love my wife is the way my daughters are going to expect to be loved." "We're all jacked up, flawed, imperfect individuals..." Resources: www.thefathereffect.com  The Father Effect YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/ UCYOtmtf0kO9e9FntnZ9ow6Q  The Father Effect GodTube Channel -http://www.godtube.com/thefathereffect/  Twitter - @thefathereffect, @johnpfinch, @encouragingdads, & @_newlegacymedia  Facebook - The Father Effect Movie Encouraging Dads Project website (encouragingdads.com)  Book Landing Page https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/john-finch/the-father-effect/ 9781478976868/ All Pro Dad - https://www.allprodad.com/ Dr. Meg Meeker - https://www.meekerparenting.com/ Raising A Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis -  https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Modern-Day-Knight-Fathers-Authentic/dp/1589973097 Fathered By God by John Eldridge - https://www.amazon.com/Fathered-God-Learning-Could-Never/dp/1400280273

Franco is an actor, host of The Professional Stepdad podcast, 60-second storyteller, and stepfather of five, who loves sharing wisdom, insight, and anecdotes about fatherhood. Driven by his passion to affect real change, Franco is on a mission to challenge the current narrative around the meaning and purpose of being a Step-Dad in today’s world.  Franco and I had a thoroughly entertaining and enjoyable conversation, and I hope you learn from it and have as much fun as we did! Below are some of the key quotes and highlights from the episode. Also, be sure to check out all of the resources that Franco offers as well as others that we mentioned during our interview. "My job for the first few years is to get to know the kids." "The biggest challenge is always 'the others' in a blended family that think they know better." "We have to block out the negative noise; the only thing we can control is what happens within the four walls of our home." Importance of consistent base hits vs. trying for homeruns in every at-bat. "If you're patient, it'll pay off." Discipline is the Achilles heel of every blended family situation. "When we speak badly about the others, we poison the well, and no one wins." "Me, then us, then them." I need to improve myself, then work on us (the married couple) as a team, and then get to know them (the kids).  "Stepparents: we step up, we step forward, and we step through." It is important to set goals for our family. Contact, Franco's Resources: contact@theprofessionalstepdad.com http://www.theprofessionalstepdad.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfbbKa_DqXKi3ITQqBNmg7Q?view_as=subscriber https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-professional-step-dad-podcast/id1504288883 https://www.instagram.com/theprofessionalstepdad/ https://www.tiktok.com/@theprofessionsalstepdad? Recommendations, etc: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/ https://www.5lovelanguages.com/book/the-5-love-languages-of-children/ https://www.christianbook.com/love-respect-most-desires-desperately-needs/emerson-eggerichs/9781591451877/pd/451876?kw=love%20and%20respect&mt=e&dv=c&event=PPCSRC&p=1020037&msclkid=b2f7a7e8831d1936141ac75d15f781d1&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Authors&utm_term=love%20and%20respect&utm_content=emerson%20eggerichs https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Bob-Proctor/dp/B00A2XQTDM https://www.amazon.com/Alchemist-Paulo-Coelho/dp/0061122416

Laura Petherbridge serves couples and single adults with topics on women’s issues, relationships, stepfamilies, co-parenting, single parenting, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. She is an international speaker and author of, When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t”—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, The Smart Stepmom, co-authored with stepfamily expert Ron Deal, 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom , Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul, a devotional and Seeking a Silent Night: Unwrapping a Stepfamily Christmas. Her most recent project is Stepfamilies of the Bible: Timeless Teachings for Today’s Family. Laura has spoken at numerous events including: The Billy Graham Training Center, Lifeway, MomLife Today, Hearts at Home, FamilyLife Blended, MOPS, and Iron Sharpens Iron conferences. Laura is a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series, which has equipped more than 16,000 churches worldwide. She and her husband of 35 years, Steve, reside in Atlanta. She has 2 married stepsons, and 2 grandchildren. Laura and I had an excellent and enjoyable conversation all about the complexities of blended families and how support systems and grace are needed in order to make them work. Below are some of the highlights of what she shared during our interview. After growing up in a blended family and being part of a blended family as an adult, "God just told me to teach others what I had learned and to try to encourage them." Her #1 plea to the church is to understand that the materials for a first-time marriage will NOT work for someone going into a remarriage. (She makes a wonderful analogy about this; listen for it!) Stepmoms NEED a strong and consistent support system. The #1 complaint she hears in blended families: "My spouse won't discipline their kids." People are often shocked at how complicated blended family life is. Parents often parent out of guilt, grief, etc., especially after a divorce. "You cannot parent more than the parent, and you should not try to."  There are perks to blended family life; just keep your eyes open for them. A question she often asks future stepmothers is, "Are you sure this is the life you want?" "Being a stepmom taught me more about how to love like Jesus--sacrificially--than any other experience in my life." "A chosen love is harder than a natural love." A common prayer for stepmothers is, "Lord, show me how to love unconditionally." Resources: Email: Laura@Laurapetherbridge.com Website: https://laurapetherbridge.com/ Books, recommendations, etc: https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Moments-Stepmom-Soul-Encouragement/dp/1941733387 https://www.amazon.com/Single-Parent-Confident-Successful/dp/0764232843 https://www.amazon.com/Between-Two-Worlds-Children-Divorce/dp/0307237117 https://rondeal.org/channels-resources

Bobbi Brooks Wilcox is the founder of Blended Families United, a published author, spiritual counselor, ordained minister, and a blended family coach. She assists blended family clients virtually online to improve their communication with one another, build trust, and strengthening their relationships so they can thrive and not just survive. Bobbi's book, RECONCILED, is about her search for peace after a painful divorce where she came across a university that taught Spiritual Psychology that brought her healing, transformation, and a Spiritual Awakening. As Bobbi applied the spiritual practices, skills, and principles she'd learned at the university in her life, she began mending her broken relationships with her adult children and her was-band where they reconciled and became friends which ventured into a blended family vacation together with their two families. She wrote her book to inspire others that blended families can be united and work together. After studying Spiritual Psychology for two years at the University of Santa Monica (USM), Bobbi started her own business teaching listening and communication skills through workshops traveling to different states. She became certified as a Christian Conflict Coach and Mediator and a certified Clinical Hypnotherapist to help deepen her work with her clients. Her passion for helping divorced parents as a DivorceCare ministry leader through her church then led her to teaching The Smart Stepfamily by Ron Deal small groups at her church. Knowing that God clearly called her to help blended family's, Bobbi started her own business, Blended Families United, where she continues to grow spiritually and expand her expertise in working with blended families. Bobbi currently speaks on various podcasts, FaceBook groups, and on YouTube. She has had the blessed privilege to officiate one of her client's marriage with their blended family. Bobbi also has a blended family of her own. She and her husband, Geoff, and their thirteen year old son live in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Bobbi is also the mother of two adult children from her first marriage and a grandmother to four wonderful grandchildren who all live in Las Vegas, Nevada where she visits them as often as she can. "Communication is key--specifically, learning to listen is crucial to moving forward." "Forgiveness and being able to talk about/with an ex from a place of love instead of a place of pain and bitterness...was an opportunity to start to heal." "Do the inner work of dealing with pain and guilt." "We understand the importance of getting along well, especially for our kids, even though they're grown." "Discernment and reflection is key, so we can invite God to help us begin to heal." Links Websites: https://www.blendedfamiliesunited.com/ and https://bobbibrookswilcox.com/ Resources: https://rondeal.org/ https://stepmomcoach.com/ https://nachokids.com/

Adam Kol, known as The Couples Financial Coach, helps couples go from financial overwhelm or avoidance to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind. He also hosts the Couples Financial Coach Podcast. Adam is a Certified Mediator with experience as both a Tax Attorney and Financial Advisor. He received his law degree from Duke and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU. Adam is also an experienced social justice advocate and lifelong musician - you can find his Personal Finance Parodies on YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram!   In this episode, Adam tells us about how many couples make common mistakes such as trying to go straight to the numbers rather than looking at them in the context of goals.  Money is one of the leading causes of divorce, especially in blended families. "You want to create a sense of trust and safety when talking about money." "The number one blended family financial mistake is trying to figure out everything all at once--instead pick one topic/priority and get clarity on that first." "When having these conversations, start with a common point of wanting what is best for the kids." Begin a money talk by sharing your experiences with money: what did you like/dislike? habits? etc. Then get clear on your financial situation. Finally, look at your financial goals and how to prioritize them. Links: Website: https://ahkcoaching.com/ Free Diagnostic Quiz: https://ahkcoaching.com/quiz

Anna Seewald, M.Ed is a Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author and Host of The Authentic Parenting Podcast. With a background in psychology and education, and having worked with children for 18 years, today Anna helps conscious moms and dads to become calm and connected to themselves and their children through trauma-informed education. She believes in helping children by helping parents. She has a private practice that specializes in parent education, where she provides one-on-one parent coaching, parenting, court-ordered, and co-parenting classes. Anna shared some extremely important information from her experience of helping parents who are divorcing or are divorced, and from helping people who are going through custody battles and/or are already in blended families. To her, the biggest challenges in blended families are communication and discipline. "If Scott and Stephanie can learn to co-parent, then I have hope that I can help ANY parents!" "Use your energy for healing as opposed to fighting and trying to punish each other. Shift your energy and things will shift." Anna ends her sessions by challenging each co-parenting partner: "Can you say 5 positive things that you admire about your coparenting partners?"  "Seeing the humanness in the other person...Have compassion and understanding for the pain of the other person." Resources and Links: www.authenticparenting.com https://www.instagram.com/authentic.parenting.podcast/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/annaseewald/ https://www.amazon.com/15-Keys-Effective-Communication-Relationships/dp/1700020617/ref=sxts_sxwds-bia-wc-drs1_0?cv_ct_cx=15+keys+to+effective+communication&dchild=1&keywords=15+keys+to+effective+communication&pd_rd_i=1700020617&pd_rd_r=626e4ad6-b94b-433b-8fd2-b128376652fe&pd_rd_w=ukn4m&pd_rd_wg=0AtL6&pf_rd_p=ecbfa24d-f48c-4d5c-83aa-9549f4e7c925&pf_rd_r=5GMH84GGSHA2K6S0XYQ0&psc=1&qid=1602872154&sr=1-1-f6b8d51f-2c55-4dc3-89ad-0c3639671b2d https://www.facebook.com/parentingfromtheheart/ Melissa Brown - Blended Family Podcast: https://www.blendedfamilypodcast.com/ Dr. Elizabeth Cohen - The Divorce Doctor: https://drelizabethcohen.com/ How to Stop Yelling - https://authentic-parenting1.teachable.com/p/how-to-stop-yelling