10CBF: A Podcast for Blended Families

Heidi Farrell is a stepmom and mom of five, whose ages range from 22 down to 4 years old.  She and her husband have seen the full range of child development in their house...often all at once!  Heidi loves connecting with moms and stepmoms by coaching and encouraging them on their journey.  She writes about her experiences and provides practical strategies for stepmoms, and you can find her eBook about the joys and complications of adding an 'ours' baby on her website notjustastepmom.com.  Heidi and her husband have a full house and a full range of stepfamily experiences! As she shares during our interview, these experiences have taught her family some difficult but life-giving lessons, and so we're excited to share those same lessons with you.  "Find ways to build them up...and build a bridge..." "Sometimes we forget to laugh...and appreciate those silly, goofy moments during the day." "Those traits needed to be refined." "No matter how hard you work, sometimes your efforts are not well-received..." "Don't respond to absurdity..." "What do we want to have festering or blossoming in our hearts?" "When looking for help, find who resonates with you and continue to learn from them." Recommended Resources: Website: https://notjustastepmom.com/ "How to Survive the Eyeroll Stage" https://notjustastepmom.com/3-tips-for-stepmoms-to-survive-the-teen-eye-roll-phase/ (blog post) 'How to Add An Ours Baby' https://notjustastepmom.com/product/ebook/ (ebook) Laura Pretherbridge: https://laurapetherbridge.com/ Ron Deal https://smartstepfamilies.com/ Connect with Heidi on social media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=14832760 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notjustastepmom/

Terrie is a Divorce and Relationship Strategist. Her dynamic, vibrant, inspirational talks for both men and women motivate and educate audiences. Terrie-who is divorced- has overcome abandonment, poverty, and childhood sexual abuse. She uses the trials and her triumphs in her coaching practice, Choosing to Rise. Terrie coaches men and women to overcome their setbacks, create healthy relationships, and find happiness and peace of mind. She is the co-author of two women's empowerment books. Terrie and I had an amazing conversation about the importance of both personal responsibility and grace in overcoming challenges and setbacks in the life of blended families. Terrie brought lots of issues from childhood into her adulthood and marriage, and she made the conscious decision to accept her circumstances in order to heal and become the best version of herself. "Know your own triggers!" "You have to see what baggage you are bringing into the situation and how they affect you." "Life presents you with people and circumstances that will show you where you still need to heal." "The biggest challenge is differences in parenting." Learn the difference between a request and a complaint when thinking of blended family communication. "How you show up in your blended family helps shape how others show up as well. "On the other side of pain is peace, and on the other side of fear is freedom." "You can't solve internal problems with external solutions."  Resources:  FB Group for stepmoms: https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=stepmoms%20supporting%20other%20stepmoms Also look for Men Rise Above Divorce and Women Rise Above Divorce Facebook groups Website: www.ChoosingtoRise.com Tunisica O., The Empowered Stepmother https://www.amazon.com/EMPOWERED-STEPMOTHER-Thrive-Harmoniously-Blended/dp/0578425009 StepMonster https://www.amazon.com/Stepmonster-Look-Real-Stepmothers-Think/dp/1517071380/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=stepmonster&qid=1619361536&s=books&sr=1-1

Brock Sellers, LICSW, PIP, is an Alabama native with strong roots in the social work field. He obtained both his BSW and MSW from the University of Alabama and is now beginning his 19th year of working in the field of child welfare. Brock serves as APAC’s Training Coordinator where he implements statewide training, webinars, online training, and live conferences with leading experts in the field of foster care and adoption for the benefit of Alabama’s clinical professionals. Brock is also the co-founder of Innate Health Solutions, where he works in the private sector as an consultant and trainer, working with individuals, families, and various service agencies to achieve overall healthier functioning. He is a nationally recognized TAC trainer, the newly accredited Training for Adoption Competency, and he’s facilitated training at conferences locally and internationally. He lives in Hoover, AL, with his beautiful wife and his very active boys, ages 10 and 8. Brock was kind enough to be part of my 10CBF Online Conference back in the summer of 2020, and he was also generous with his time and wisdom in this interview! He and I talked about his experiences in a blended family as well as his professional work which has seen him help many families throughout Alabama and the world.  "Every family is multicultural because of the varying backgrounds of its members."  "You can't take the dye out of the water." "Choose to believe the best...you can't choose it if you don't see it as an option." Links Private Sector work: www.innatehealth.solutions  APAC Training website: https://childrensaid.org/training  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brocksellers/ 7 Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency by Roszia and Maxon: https://www.nacac.org/resource/seven-core-issues-in-adoption-and-permanency/ The Relationship Handbook by George Pransky: https://www.amazon.com/Relationship-Handbook-George-Pransky-Ph-D/dp/0971198802 Children's Aid: https://www.childrensaid.org/ Children's Aid Training and Resources: https://www.childrensaid.org/what_we_do/programs/apac/training_resources/training.html APAC Online Training: https://training.childrensaid.org/

Scott & Mindee have been together for ten years this month, married for six and a half. Scott is a Software Engineer at Intel for twenty-five years and Mindee is a twenty-year entrepreneur (Inventor of the popular children's product Boogie Wipes). Scott brought two girls and a boy to the marriage, while Mindee brought two boys and a girl - very Brady. The kids are currently 18, 17, 15, 15, 13, 12. They rely on Jesus, Coffee, Exercise and the Sunday afternoon NapFold...which you will have to ask them about! Our Blended Family Ministry is called Merge, we run it through @B4 Church in Beaverton, Oregon In this episode, Scott and Mindee share their 'Brady bunch' story and how it has helped them encourage and minister to other blended families, especially in their church in Oregon.  "The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want at the moment." - Mindee's dad "Focus on creating opportunities for cooperation and working together to create friendship and fellowship." Resources: "Who's Who In the Family Zoo?" by Gary Smalley Ron Deal https://rondeal.org/ 'Courageous Parenting Podcast' https://courageousparenting.com/episodes/ 'Truth, Love, Parent' https://www.truthloveparent.com/ The Smart Stepmom - Laura Petherbridge https://laurapetherbridge.com/ Joyful Christian Stepmom - Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/210834342313905/ 'Through the Word' https://throughtheword.org/ (also available as an app in most app stores Facebook and Instagram: @scottandmindee @mindeemama @scotthardin11

Claudette Chenevert, AKA “The Stepmom Coach” works with stepmoms who are striving to create a cohesive family life. She holds a BIS in Psychology of Communication from George Mason University, focusing on stepfamily dynamics and is Certified Coach with Results Coaching System, a neuroscience based program. Claudette helps stepmoms build and create strong and healthy stepfamilies by helping stepmoms focus on what they want as a woman, a partner and a parent. She has over 30 years of experience as a stepmom and 37 years as a mother. She understands what it’s like to be in your shoes and teaches the best strategies to make life as a stepmom more harmonious. Claudette offers online support, self-study programs, and one-on-one coaching. She is also an author and writer for Stepmom Magazine as well as the producer and host of The Stepfamily Summit 2021. In this episode, Claudette shares the wisdom and lessons she has learned in over three decades of being a stepmom and working with other stepmoms.  "Understanding the power of listening and asking insightful questions is part of creating a cohesive family." "Creating a blended family can be a lot like merging two businesses, hopefully bringing in the best parts of both and creating a third thing together." "Parents need to keep contact with the kids and keep the communication open as much as possible." "Structure and consistency are key for kids." "People are often afraid to ask for help because they don't want to be seen as weak." Website https://www.stepmomcoach.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stepmomcoach Twitter: https://twitter.com/stepmomcoach Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stepmomcoach/ Resources: Stepmom Magazine - https://www.stepmommag.com/ The Stepmom's Book of Boundaries https://stepmomcoach.com/shop/the-stepmom-book-of-boundaries-bundle/  by Claudette Chenevert The Essential Stepmom Podcast https://anchor.fm/essentialstepmom Stepfamily Summit 2021 https://thestepfamilysummit.com/ Stepmom Coaching https://stepmomcoach.com/ Community: The Structure of Belonging by Peter Block https://www.amazon.com/Community-Structure-Belonging-Peter-Block/dp/1523095563

Bob Brumm is a professional award-winning Speaker, Author & Encouragement Engineer serving corporate, collegiate, sales, youth organizations and individuals with encouraging keynotes or workshop presentations. Bob guides audiences to achieve personal and professional growth with positive encouragement and action plans that combat the negativity that inundates our daily lives. Bob is a top selling author of eight books and has been a guest on internationally recognized media outlets regarding his encouraging positive perspective, action-oriented strategies. Bob also created his own podcast, “Encouragement Engineering” to reach out to listeners to combat the negativity that inundates our daily lives with a positive perspective and positive actions. With his diverse professional background in Accounting, Business, 25 years in the IT/Telecommunications and as a husband and father of three boys, Bob can relate to many audiences through his personal and professional struggles and successes. Bob has presented positive, encouraging messages for many organizations and as a direct result, has been recognized for encouraging work efforts that have led to both time and money savings for many groups. For more information on Bob’s books and other information or to schedule Bob for your next event, go to www.bobbrummspeaks.com to see how he can help you or your organization. Bob is based in St. Petersburg, Florida. In this episode, Bob and I discussed his experience as a "red-headed stepchild" (his words!) and what it was like to grow up in a blended family that was not always easy. He shared the lessons that he learned as well as how being in that type of family helped him become who he is today. "Be willing to learn and accept each others' differences and grow from them." "Just be decent to each other." "What can we learn from the past that will help me and encourage me in the future?" Links: Website – https://bobbrummspeaks.com  LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobbrumm/  Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/bbrummSPK  Podcast – https://anchor.fm/bob-brumm Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bbrummspk/ Zig Ziglar - https://www.ziglar.com/

Women’s author, speaker and mentor Kristie Carpenter, aka The Blended Family Mom, has been a blended family/step mom since 2004. Her blended family currently includes four children and four grandchildren. Her books The Blended Family Mom and Blended Mom Moments are both available on her website at theblendedfamilymom.com.  In this episode, Kristie and I discussed her journey from wife to widow to stepmother/stepgrandmother in under a decade and the many lessons she has learned along the way.  "Your mindset going into marriage will make or break it." "Be consistent every day." "In your blended family, your priority is your spouse." "As a stepparent, you have to keep trying different things." Links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theblendedfamilymom Twitter: twitter.com/blendedfamilym Instagram: instagram.com/theblendedfamilymom/ Resources: Ron Deal Dr. Gary Chapman: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ Laura Pretherbridge Kingdom Marriage by Tony Evans https://store.tonyevans.org/purchase/kingdom-marriage-bmarriage https://carpentersforchrist.net/ Marriage365 

Stepfamilies have to contend with extra stressors, deeper and more complex layers that just do not apply to first-time families. Ali is well versed in the challenges that stepmoms and stepcouples face in 'blending' together. Ali Wilks MSc is a certified successful stepfamily strategist and couples coach. Driven by her own feelings of doubt and insecurity, she turned her passion to help into her purpose and created the Successful Stepmom Retreats and Successful Stepcouple Retreats. She is also the owner and developer of The Soulful Stepmom where she shares her soulful insights, embraces her otherworldly gifts, and teaches about her heart-earned lessons that came as a result of her stepmom struggles. She can be found on the usual social media platforms as well as Stepcoupling.com, Stepparent Magazine as their Wellness Editor, and on the groundbreaking Stepmomz App. On top of it all, Ali offers transformational coaching programs to stepmoms and stepcouples because she believes stepfamily stress can be turned into stepfamily success and stepcoupples can be an unstoppabble team. As the bio mom of two smart and sassy daughters, the wife to her husband of 13 years, and the stepmom to three awesome adult stepkids and two adorable grandkids, she is well on her way to having the groove in her stepmom game. FINALLY. She’s been featured in DivorceForce, Divorce Magazine, YourTango. StepMom Magazine, coParenter app and of course, Stepparent Magazine. She is a recent add to International Bestselling Authors on Amazon for her contribution to the Book BluTalks Series 2. Ali brought some amazing wisdom and insights to our interview, so be sure to check it out! "Start your day with 'How can I make your day better?'" "Communication is one of the pivotal aspects of having a successful relationship." "Have a plan for conflict. Know your triggers to avoid, and be willing to ask what others need so you can support them in the midst of conflict." "Myth to bust: don't go to bed angry." "You can be right, or you can stay connected." "Gratitude is transformational." Email: aliwilks@stepcoupling.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stepbystepmom Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/successfulstepcoupling Twitter: https://twitter.com/Ali_Wilks Links: Stepcoupling by Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/192509/stepcoupling-by-susan-wisdom-lpc-and-jennifer-green/ Adversaries Into Allies by Bob Burg https://www.amazon.com/Adversaries-into-Allies-Ultimate-Influence/dp/1591848164 Stepparenting Magazine https://stepparentmagazine.com/ The Gottman Institute (information on relationships, especially conflict resolution): https://www.gottman.com/

Melissa Brown, is an entrepreneur who runs several businesses. For over 14 years she has run a successful cleaning company along with her husband. They also have a business in the finance industry, where they train and develop financial advisors, as well as educate people about how money works, so that they can achieve true financial freedom. Additionally, she hosts the Blended Family Podcast, a weekly show about the many challenges and struggles today's blended families face. Having a blended family of her own for well over 10 years, she is now using her experiences to help others.  She lives with her husband, their four children, her mother in law, and two English bulldogs in the state of Florida. In this episode, Melissa and I discuss her blended family story, what she's learned from over a decade of experience in a blended family, and how one of her many goals is to encourage and inspire other families as well. Melissa was kind enough to have me on her show some time ago (http://www.blendedfamilypodcast.com/202/), and I am thankful that she was kind enough to return the favor and come on 10CBF! We had an excellent time, and I hope that you enjoy our interview as well! "Take it easy with the kids because they develop feelings quickly." "Become a master at shifting your perspective...consider what the other person might be feeling." **Melissa also offers free blended family financial coaching, so be sure to contact her about it today!** Website: www.blendedfamilypodcast.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/blendedfamilypodcast Facebook Group: www.blendedfamilypodcast.com/group Twitter: www.twitter.com/1blendedfamily Itunes: www.blendedfamilypodcast.com/itunes Newsletter: www.blendedfamilypodcast.com/subscribe  Instagram: www.instagram.com/blendedfamilypodcast

Blended family coaching team, Lori and David Sims are the creators of the Nacho Kids® method and the Nacho Kids Academy. After Lori and David found a way to come back from the brink of divorce and better their blend, they had to share it with the world! As a team, they bring both the male and female perspective to blended family issues. Their mission is to reduce the percentage of failed blended families by empowering stepparents with tools to save their relationship and their sanity by effectively using the Nacho Kids method. Their Nacho Kids method has been a blended family lifesaver for thousands of stepfamilies around the world!  In this interview, Lori and David share with us their story of the origins of the Nacho Kids concept and the Nacho Kids Academy. They tell some of their struggles (including coming back from the very brink of divorce and also Lori's never-ending patience with David's "button-pushing" habits) as well as how they overcame then using the Nacho method. They also share some heartwarming stories of encouragement and inspiration from their blended family. Finally, we laughed a TON while recording this interview! If you're in a blended family and you're looking to laugh and learn, then this interview is an absolute must-listen! "We can create our own happiness, or we can create our own misery, and I'm creating my own misery..." "Relieve the stress first, then take steps to move forward and create better relationships." "The goals: identifying triggers, relieving stress, and creating a better blended family through the Nacho Kids method..." "Let the child lead the re-engagement relationship." "Do things with the kids that they enjoy, and build each other up to the kids." "Don't ever do anything once in your life that you wouldn't be willing to do for the rest of your life." Website:   nachokids.com and nachokidsacademy.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/NachoKids.org Instagram: www.instagram.com/nachokids/ Podcast: https://nachokids.com/podcast/ Contact: contactus@nachokids.com Links mentioned in the episode: Family Life Blended (Ron Deal, author of The Smart Stepfamily): http://familylifeblended.com/ Laura Pretherbridge, author of The Smart Stepmom (with Ron Deal): https://laurapetherbridge.com/