10CBF: A Podcast for Blended Families

This episode is different because it is actually a talk that I gave at my high school for our Midweek (chapel) program recently. In this episode you'll hear an explanation of what 'eucatastrophe' is as well as a few stories that illustrate the concept. Finally you'll hear how the Gospel is the great eucatastrophe of history as well as some encouragement from the book of Romans. I hope that you enjoy it and find it both challenging and encouraging! I also hope that you will reflect on your own life's journey and seek to recognize the eucatastrophic moments in which your story went in an unexpected and positive direction.  Also be on the lookout for the beginning of next season as we'll have another amazing lineup of guest experts who are going to share wisdom, humor, and insight into how you can help your blended family!

Judy Graybill is a Relationship Healer, Certified Stepfamily Coach, and Executive Director of her company, Sensible Steps. Her formal degrees are in Psychology and Sociology, and she has earned her certification as a Stepfamily Coach from The Stepfamily Foundation. For nearly 12 years, Judy has been a guest speaker on tele-summits, radio shows, and podcasts like 'Reclaim Your Life After Divorce', 'Constructive Uncoupling', and 'The Father Show' With Mike Thompson; as well as having been quoted in periodicals, including alongside Drs. Patricia Papernow and Richard A. Warshak at Care.com.  In this interview, Judy discussed a number of different ways to improve your blended family dynamics, starting with doing the hard work necessary to make your family function in a more cooperative way. We discussed how both stepparents and bio-parents can have a positive influence on the family and why both are necessary to help a blended family reach its potential. Finally, she shares why it's important to seek out resources that speak to your unique family situation and dynamics. Enjoy the conversation and help your family grow! "Find what the bio-parent doesn't want to do, and be willing to do that." "Choose to believe the best--this is one of the hardest things for ex-spouses to do because they're worried the other parent is going to screw up their kid." "Focus on being a more positive influence; kids know and form their own opinions." "Understand what is unique about your stepfamily and find resources that speak to those aspects of your family." Connect with Judy: www.judygraybill.com https://www.instagram.com/judy.m.graybill/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/judygraybill/ https://www.facebook.com/JudyMGraybill Resources: https://www.facebook.com/buckeyebonusmoms https://www.stepfamilyrelationships.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Thriving-Stepfamily-Relationships-Doesnt-ebook/dp/B00G6MQLXQ https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-Families/dp/0307440850

Dr. Brittne Murray is a  licensed Professional Counselor trained in clinical psychology with over 20 years experience in the field. She received her PhD in Transpersonal Psychology at Sofia University (formerly The Institute of Transpersonal Psychology) in Palo Alto, California, and her postdoctoral education at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. She was also trained and received a fellowship degree at Tulane University in Early Infant Mental Heath. She began her therapeutic journey in Denver, Colorado, working in a residential facility and as a therapeutic case manager. She later moved to Lake Charles, Louisiana, where she held several roles such as Clinical Director of the Children’s Advocacy Center, EarlySteps interventionist, and clinical counselor treating children, teens, adults, and couples.  Dr. Murray began her private practice in 2010, consistently working with divorced families,  struggling with coparenting and stepparent integration in both Louisiana and Texas, while working with Tulane University,  behaviorally assessing children in daycare settings. In 2018, she returned to Colorado and began a new practice,  mainly focused on using EMDR to assist individuals in working through current and past traumas.  However, she was always felt a call back to the families.  In this desire, Dr. Murray created a  new organization called Be Better Step-parenting, where she offers a 5-week online course for those attempting to navigate the step-parent waters.  She hopes to educate and bring improved support to the marital couple,  so that they can avoid the high statistical probability of divorce, and help the child(ren) avoid another break in their family system. Dr. Brittne Murray's next blended family course begins February 2! "Conflict is where we grow...conflict isn't aggression." "The only way out is through." - Jung "We need to know our roles and be clear about them." "To teach our kids respect, we need to model that and show them what it looks like." "Consistency is a big struggle for blended families." Connect with Dr. Brittne Murray: https://www.bebetterstepparenting.com/ messageme@bebetterstepparenting.com https://m.facebook.com/page/follow_mutator/?page_id=113130977221074&status=0&location=141&ext=1608472924&hash=AeT2COzCq9Z7OfTsjR4 https://twitter.com/BBStepparenting https://www.instagram.com/bebetterstepparent/ https://www.linkedin.com/company/be-better-step-parenting/ Resources: https://www.najahall.com/podcast/ https://www.amazon.com/Angry-All-Time-Emergency-Control/dp/1572243929 https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X https://www.amazon.com/Queens-Code-Alison-Armstrong/dp/B00ECFLKS0 https://www.5lovelanguages.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Proper-Care-Feeding-Marriage/dp/0061142824

Jay and Esther Hutchinson are an amazing multicultural blended family that resides in Florida, and they have been married for eight years. Together, they are the parents of six boys and one girl ranging in age from 5 to 20. In addition to being part of a blended family, Jay and Esther also enjoy the challenges and rewards of being part of a multi-cultural family. Esther is originally from Haiti, and Jay hails from the state of Ohio. Esther and Jay have a heart for marriage and family. One of the missions of their website and YouTube channel, This Big House (thisbighouse.com), is to encourage families and individuals of all ages and cultures to love one another by offering practical, real-life tactics to help navigate through the maze of married and blended family life. In this episode, Jay and Esther Hutchinson discuss their (unrealistic) expectations going into their blended family and how those changed as they moved forward. They share some of their struggles and some of their favorite blended family moments and memories, as well as some amusing stories about why people look at their family funny when they go out. Finally, they share the wisdom they've learned from having a large, complex, multicultural family and how important it is to stick together through the difficulty if you want to see the joy on the other side. "I married the outcome before I started the journey..." - Esther Hutchinson on the expectations she had going into marriage with Jay "Get educated on blended families--it's different than in a traditional family." Connect with Jay and Esther: https://thisbighouse.com/ https://www.youtube.com/thisbighouse?fbclid=IwAR3A7GDEpr-6Hn-_skXvtd_eBSWaeqzITr6DZa0CXZt7EsJAyTGJb8Q9s8w Resources: https://betterthanblended.com/ https://gilandbrenda.com/restored-remarried/ https://www.amazon.com/EMPOWERED-STEPMOTHER-Thrive-Harmoniously-Blended/dp/0578425009 https://www.facebook.com/MeganBottomSpeaker/

Laura Gertz Hernandez and her husband have ten (yes, TEN) children, a combination of biological and foster children. Laura is a homeschool mom to her biological children, and all four of their foster children have special needs. Laura is also the creator of MamaSystems.net, a website designed to help busy moms bring peace to their homes through putting systems into place that create calm out of chaos. Her website offers online courses, coaching, and a lot of free resources including articles, blog posts, and more. In this episode, Laura is extremely vulnerable and shares some of the difficulties and struggles that their family has faced, and she also shares how her family has tried to address and overcome the struggles that they have faced. She says, "Gratitude is the key to being able to love on kids when it's hard," and "That's been our journey: learning that it's just different, and that's ok." Her big tip to help anyone who is struggling is to have great community around you: make friends who either know the same struggles or can help you through yours, who will encourage you and challenge you, and who you can also help and encourage. No matter what kind of blended family you're in, this interview will help you understand that the difficulties you face are not insurmountable, and that if your blended family is different than others, or different that you expected, that's ok too. Find out more about Laura and her work at: https://www.mamasystems.net/ https://www.instagram.com/mamasystems/ https://www.facebook.com/mamasystems.net/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMF3OJ8iBA8vjvEabrJcccg/

Tracy Poizner is a certified life coach who leveraged 20 years of professional training and expertise in alternative healthcare to help herself and her family find their way through the wilderness of stepfamily life. She says her dream job is helping other stepmoms find their way to the light at the end of the tunnel so they can feel useful and appreciated in family life, grounded and confident in their personal life. She’s living the dream from her home in small-town Canada where she produces The Essential Stepmom Podcast, heard in 64 countries around the world. In her spare time, she helps the dads of the family learn to parent from a place of leadership so they can make the impact they truly want in the lives of their kids. Tracy and I had an excellent conversation in this episode, discussing some of the causes and effects of parental alienation and how blended families can help cope and overcome it. She talked about her personal experiences as well as her professional work with other blended families, and I strongly encourage you to also check out her podcast called The Essential Stepmom. You can find her at:  essentialstepmom.com https://twitter.com/TracyPoizner https://facebook.com/essentialstepmom https://instagram.com/the.essential.stepmom Email: info@essentialstepmom.com Free gift: https://training.essentialstepmom.com/restorative-parenting-guide/ Resources: Nacho Kids Academy: https://nachokids.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/oneforthedads

"I'm Monica Tanner, married to my best friend, boss mom to 4 small humans, weekly podcaster at On the Brighter Side of Marriage and relationship and intimacy expert. I get it, entrepreneurship and marriage are HARD...they both take work. There are lots of ups and downs and sometimes it all just feels like TOO MUCH. But can I let you in on a little secret? It's easier than you might think...you may just need some simple, time-saving, life-saving skills and strategies. That's where I come in... I firmly believe that there are no two people on planet earth who love each other more than me and my husband and I would love to help you believe that about your own marriage as well. I help Passionate Female Entrepreneurs prioritize their marriage while crushing their business goals. My goal is to help you embrace your unique femininity and gain courage, confidence, communication and connection skills enabling you to create a marriage that supports your business and a business that supports your marriage.  I'm here to help!" Monica is an amazing guest, and in this episode we discussed the importance of purposefully creating new traditions to help your family blend, and we also talked about how to reverse engineer your family to help it become what you want it to be. She shares her story as well as stories from her work as a relationship expert, and she dropped some amazing bits of wisdom in our episode. Check them out, along with links to her work, below: "Don't take the little things for granted because they make up the fabric of your life." "Remember that your kids are always watching you." "You can always control how you choose to experience a situation." "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Curiousity + vulnerability = creativity Website: https://onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/monitanner1 Freebie: 5 Things I Do Everyday to Keep My Marriage Sizzling Hot - https://onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/5things?fbclid=IwAR0VG3ThSgVz9QQuDvOyuoOtEzmUbNPlpvhnmjrLRQlKe75d_cNinz116w8

As a bi-racial woman growing up without a father, Michelle Perry struggled with identity and self-worth issues. Poor choices led her down a path leading to academic failure and a lack of purpose. Until January 2, 1992, when one experience changed her life forever, propelling her into purpose and service to others. Michelle established herself as a subject matter expert over the course of her career as a clinical social worker that spanned over 20 years. She then transitioned into the corporate world where her leadership and coaching skills were refined, producing results in all that she works with. As an Empowerment Coach, podcast host, speaker, and online course creator, Michelle contributes to the journey of others by supporting them to see results and experience an increase in confidence and momentum in their lives. Michelle is an absolutely amazing woman with a powerful story, and in this episode we discussed how one of the biggest issues facing blended families is the keeping of secrets. We also discussed the importance of how to pay attention to non-verbal clues in addition to the actual words being said.  Her favorite blended family resources included the Bible and some goofball named Hawbaker. Michelle and her work can be found at all the following links:  https://successfuldiligence.ck.page Newsletter signup landing page Website: https://www.successfuldiligence.com/ School: https://successful-diligence.teachable.com/ Podcast: https://anchor.fm/successfuldiligence Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/successfuldiligence Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/successfuldiligence/ If you would like to be a guest on the Successful Diligence™ Podcast, work with Michelle or book her to peak, you can Schedule a meeting with me

Mike & Kim Anderson have been coaching and supporting step-couples for almost two decades and they host a weekly podcast called The Blended Family Coaching Show.  Mike grew up in challenging stepfamily dynamics and when Mike & Kim were married in 2001 — they formed their own stepfamily.  Mike and Kim have experienced the joys of 'blending' as well as deep valleys of pain and struggle.  They are passionate about helping step-couples to experience breakthroughs, overcome challenges and thrive in their unique blended family dynamics.  They reside in the Pacific Northwest and are grateful for their three beautiful children, Annika (25), Phoebe (17) and Jacob (16). In this episode, Mike and Kim discuss what it's like to address and overcome a variety of blended family challenges by "connecting through conflict" and working with each other instead of against each other, even when it's difficult. They suggest an exercise designed to help you clarify and begin creating the type of family that you want by focusing on the values you want to teach your children. And they encourage listeners to go and learn as much as they can about blended family life, the challenges you'll face, and how to have realistic expectations for your family. Find out more about Mike and Kim and their work at: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/ https://support.mikeandkimcoaching.com/ https://www.facebook.com/mikeandkimcoaching/ They also strongly recommend the following book by Dr. Patricia Papernow: 'Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn't'. You can find it below: https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/surviving-and-thriving-in-stepfamily-relationships-what-works-and-what-doesnt/9281738/item/26858389/?mkwid=sLmLYD0n%7cdc&pcrid=11558858520&pkw=&pmt=be&slid=&product=26858389&plc=&pgrid=3970769594&ptaid=pla-1101002864774&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Bing+Shopping+%7c+Parenting+&+Relationships&utm_term=&utm_content=sLmLYD0n%7cdc%7cpcrid%7c11558858520%7cpkw%7c%7cpmt%7cbe%7cproduct%7c26858389%7cslid%7c%7cpgrid%7c3970769594%7cptaid%7cpla-1101002864774%7c&msclkid=32181ecd140f1965bb294159500e7652#idiq=26858389&edition=8609387

Dr. Pion-Berlin is a passionate and compassionate leader and expert in resiliency, shared leadership®, family strengthening and prevention with more 38 years of research, advocacy and program implementation focusing on Evidence-Based Services and Initiatives. Fondly called Dr. Lisa, she is also an experienced clinician and Clinical Hypnotherapist working with Parents, Adults and Children of all ages to address their underlying emotional issues, change behaviors and reduce anxiety, fear and loss just to name a few. She has a Ph.D. in Social Work from Ohio State University, Masters in Social Work & Masters in Public Administration from University of Denver, and Bachelors of Science in Psychology from Georgetown University. Dr. Lisa believes Asking for Help is a Sign of Strength® and she envisions a just society where all Parents, Children & Youth thrive in resilient families and communities. She is also the President and CEO of Parents Anonymous, Inc. "Your first reaction is usually an emotional over- or under-reaction. Take a breath." On our show, Dr. Lisa shares a number of strategies designed to help the adults in blended families take care of themselves so that they can take care of others. She says each day it's important to laugh out loud, smile, and meditate, and she also talks about how important it is to ask for help and continue asking until you get the help you need. She also discusses how crucial it is to acknowledge our children's feelings and then helping and encouraging them in solving problems.  Find out more about Dr. Lisa and her work at: http://www.parentsanonymous.org/ http://www.nationalparenthelpline.org/ www.caparentyouthhelpline.org You can also get help by calling the National Parent Helpline at 1-855-427-2736