10CBF: A Podcast for Blended Families
S2-E14: "Stepfamilies and the Importance of Support Systems" with Laura Petherbridge, The Smart Stepmom
Laura Petherbridge serves couples and single adults with topics on women’s issues, relationships, stepfamilies, co-parenting, single parenting, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. She is an international speaker and author of, When “I Do” Becomes “I Don’t”—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, The Smart Stepmom, co-authored with stepfamily expert Ron Deal, 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom , Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul, a devotional and Seeking a Silent Night: Unwrapping a Stepfamily Christmas. Her most recent project is Stepfamilies of the Bible: Timeless Teachings for Today’s Family. Laura has spoken at numerous events including: The Billy Graham Training Center, Lifeway, MomLife Today, Hearts at Home, FamilyLife Blended, MOPS, and Iron Sharpens Iron conferences. Laura is a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series, which has equipped more than 16,000 churches worldwide. She and her husband of 35 years, Steve, reside in Atlanta. She has 2 married stepsons, and 2 grandchildren.
Laura and I had an excellent and enjoyable conversation all about the complexities of blended families and how support systems and grace are needed in order to make them work. Below are some of the highlights of what she shared during our interview.
After growing up in a blended family and being part of a blended family as an adult, "God just told me to teach others what I had learned and to try to encourage them."
Her #1 plea to the church is to understand that the materials for a first-time marriage will NOT work for someone going into a remarriage. (She makes a wonderful analogy about this; listen for it!)
Stepmoms NEED a strong and consistent support system.
The #1 complaint she hears in blended families: "My spouse won't discipline their kids."
People are often shocked at how complicated blended family life is.
Parents often parent out of guilt, grief, etc., especially after a divorce.
"You cannot parent more than the parent, and you should not try to."
There are perks to blended family life; just keep your eyes open for them.
A question she often asks future stepmothers is, "Are you sure this is the life you want?"
"Being a stepmom taught me more about how to love like Jesus--sacrificially--than any other experience in my life."
"A chosen love is harder than a natural love."
A common prayer for stepmothers is, "Lord, show me how to love unconditionally."
Resources:
Email: Laura@Laurapetherbridge.com
Website: https://laurapetherbridge.com/
Books, recommendations, etc:
https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Moments-Stepmom-Soul-Encouragement/dp/1941733387
https://www.amazon.com/Single-Parent-Confident-Successful/dp/0764232843
https://www.amazon.com/Between-Two-Worlds-Children-Divorce/dp/0307237117