Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Did you have a deeply present, emotionally aware father who took the time to attune to you and teach you how to be a trustworthy, integrated man?If so, you're in the minority. ;) Most of our clients had far-less-than-ideal role models when it came to the masculine -- which makes becoming a trustable adult man challenging.For example, do you feel equipped to lead hard conversations with your woman partner, and help the two of you navigate repair? Are you able to stand up for yourself in a deep, grounded way without getting defensive or shutting down? Did you ever see any of those things role-modeled in your family of origin?The fact is, we learn how to be in the world from our caregivers. If you were raised by people who were abusive, alcoholics, neglectful, or just not emotionally attuned to you, then there are gaps in your understanding of sex, dating, and relationships. Here we talk about how to fill those in -- and how to replace bad role models with good ones.If you're someone who wants to grow beyond how he was raised -- this one is for you.Themes from this episode:The impact of having an emotionally volatile dad vs. absent/passive dadIf you don't want to be "that guy" -- the angry guy, the shut-down guy, the guy who makes women uncomfortable -- how do you act instead?How do you reclaim your manhood if you grew up with women who badmouthed men? (i.e. "Don't be like your father")The power of men's work---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

Dr. Robert Glover, author of *No More Mr. Nice Guy*, joins to discuss life after overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome. He dives into the emotional challenges that linger post-recovery and emphasizes the value of setting healthy boundaries. Dr. Glover shares personal anecdotes on vulnerability and the importance of building genuine connections. The conversation explores how acknowledging past traumas can lead to deeper relationships and emotional resilience. It’s an enlightening journey toward self-discovery and healing for men striving for healthier interactions.

Ever contended with anxiety, depression, chronic pain, ADHD, or OCD ... and had that affect your sex or love life?Ever suspected that you have generational trauma, or thought you were broken?Ever felt like there was something wrong with you because you just can't seem to get it together when it comes to relationships?Spoiler alert: There is nothing wrong with you, and you are not broken. Sometimes we just all need some support to break through big blocks.Here, I talk with David Romero, psychedelic integration coach, about how microdosing psilocybin can help human beings live fuller, richer lives -- including in relationship.So-called "magic mushrooms" have huge potential when it comes to healing. And with all the stresses of modern life, we can use all the advantages we can get when it comes to helping us to have more regulated nervous systems, heal attachment issues, and overcome chronic pain.If you've ever been curious about microdosing psilocybin as a therapeutic modality, you won't want to miss this one.---Memorable quotes from this episode:"More often than not, the root causes of physical pain are deeply psychological.""We’re byproducts of the stress that took place before we even arrived in this world.""These things do amazing things because they help give you a different perspective.""It allows us to take a step back from the crisis our mind is putting us into.""I can confidently say it has made a profound impact on my life and my love relationship."---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:How to Change Your Mind -- mini-series on psychedelics used for healing, streaming on NetflixFantastic Fungi -- excellent documentary on mushrooms (psychedelic as well as other kinds), streaming on Netflix

"I took responsibility for things that wasn’t mine to take."So begins the brave stories of four men who share their personal experiences of what it was like being in relationship with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder (or with traits of it).If you've ever been unsure about whether your partner may have traits of BPD, this is a good one to listen to. For example, ever felt like your role in your relationship is solely that of a caretaker? In one man's words, "I felt like a caregiver and she was my responsibility."Thrillingly, this episode is about more than just the intensity of being in an unhealthy relationship. It's also the story of freedom, expansion, and joy. It's how these men got out, and the brightness, love, and peace that's possible on the other side.In one man's words, a turning point was interacting with someone who treated him with kindness and respect: "It was a healing moment and I began to imagine a different life for myself."What does it take to get out of an unhealthy relationship? What is life like after you do personal growth work and heal? Sex, dating, and relationships are complex, and here we delve into all the dynamics at play from beginning to end.---Memorable quotes from this episode:“Anything I shared about myself was eventually used against me, and sometimes in cruel ways.”“My life in the relationship was like being on a rollercoaster with no safety harness.”“My self-worth started to come back, and that’s what made me think, ‘What am I doing in this situation?’”“In my current relationship, I feel grounded, safe and loved. It’s a world of difference.”“Now life is pretty fucking great.”---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Other resources mentioned on this episode:National Domestic Violence hotline (includes a live chat feature, if you don't want to get on the phone yet): TheHotlineDear Men episode 128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality DisorderDear men episode 289: Do Nice Guys attract volatile women?

Have you ever felt like you needed to make a lot of money to impress women?Ever had a dynamic shift around money in a relationship, and not known how to deal with it (for example, she starts making more than you, and you have unexpected feelings about that)?Have you wondered who should pay on a date (do you offer to? Is that considered sexist now?)If you've wanted to be a fly on the wall and hear the unvarnished truth about how women feel about men, money, and masculinity, then this one's for you! Of course we don't represent all women, but you'll likely appreciate the diversity of perspectives. Get ready for vulnerability, depth, and some good laughs along the way.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

Ever chased emotionally unavailable women? Ever dropped a connection because you felt overwhelmed, or like something was "off" but you couldn't quite name what it was? Ever been uncomfortable with the "mess" of dealing with someone else's emotions, or been hesitant to share your own out of a fear of rocking the boat? Then this episode will resonate.Here we talk directly about avoidant attachment traits -- including what they've been like for us personally. For example, finding something small but unappealing about someone (like what kind of shoes they wear), and having that get in the way of relationship.We do this to bring these patterns to light, so that we can learn to work with them. When it comes to the different attachment styles, including anxious, avoidant, and anxious/avoidant (aka disorganized attachment), we also want to be clear that we can always move towards secure attachment, and that learning and growth are more than possible.---More episodes on this topic:Dear Men episode 196: Did you experience emotional neglect as a kid? Here's how to knowDear Men episode 62: What do you do if you're not sure she's "The One"? (ft. Dr. Laura Kasper) (this one goes more into de-activating strategies mentioned on this episode)---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

Sexy time, pickers, and dating, oh my! Here I answer the following three common client or listener questions:"I’ve heard women say it’s a red flag if the man has not had relationship experience. What do you say?" "One issue I've had is selecting the right female partner. What is a good way to guide myself to go about doing this?" (My picker is off)"How do I initiate sex without coming off as demanding? I come from a relationship where I think I pressured her into sex, or I wrongly felt sex was owed to me … how can I now be bold in initiation without coming across as pressuring?"---I want to give a shoutout to the men who asked these questions. It's brave to put yourself out there and ask about what you really want to know.Got a question you want me to cover? Hit me up at dearmen at gmail.com.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

When is it time to stay and work on things in your marriage, and when is it time to let things go? Perhaps you can relate to scenarios like these:You're worn out and exhausted because you're always the one reaching out to your wife and never getting anything backYou're great co-parents but your sex life is DOAAs a couple you rarely or never openly fight, but there's constant, underlying tensionYou feel like you can never get it right with her, and often feel hopeless about experiencing the intimacy you so deeply crave---The truth is, sometimes it's clear that a relationship isn't working, but sometimes it isn't. If you're unsure and trying to figure it out on your own, you're not alone.Many of our clients have been through the muck and confusion of trying to figure out their marriage, and here they share the depth of their hearts in that process.Both marriage and divorce can be sources of great pain, shame, and longing. They can also be sources of transformation, spiritual growth, awakening, and freedom.Here we delve into what to do when you don't yet have clarity around your marriage. We also touch on what it takes to improve your relationship, and how to make the determination with as much grace as possible.And remember: "There can absolutely be miraculous turnarounds in relationships when both partners are committed and willing."---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:"It’s very easy for men to fall into a place of isolation in life.""If one person is not willing to step into the growth, there’s not much you can do.""I keep inviting my partner into that and she’s unwilling.""Sometimes the greatest act of leadership is to stop tolerating mediocrity.""When there’s a vibrant, passionate sexual connection between the couple, it lights up the whole family system."

If your marriage isn't working, you're suffering. Maybe you're fighting all the time (whether aloud or not). Maybe you're great co-parents, but you don't connect in an intimate way anymore. And when I say "intimate" I'm not just talking about sex; I'm talking about warmth, closeness, and connection.Should you automatically stay in a relationship because there are children involved?The fact is, kids are perceptive and intuitive. They're aware when there's distance or discord between parents, even if they don't talk about it. And whatever you're doing in your relationship, you're role-modeling what a romantic relationship is. Is yours one you'd want your kids to have?Here, we go over "making it work" and relationship dynamics that do affect the kids -- and not in a good way. Sometimes it's possible to repair a marriage, and sometimes it's not. Put more frankly, sometimes the best thing to do is to separate for both you and the kids.Growth always requires getting uncomfortable, and if you want your family to truly thrive, sometimes delving head-on into discomfort is the brave and loving thing to do.Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old, often intergenerational trauma patterns, and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

Have you ever been scared of your wife / woman partner? Ever been harmed by her? If yes, it's likely you never felt like you could talk to anyone about it because you were afraid of what they would say, or whether they would shame you.In polarity work, we often talk about feminine storm. But where's the line between feminine storm, feminine rage, and abuse? We want to break the silence and go into this.According to the CDC, one in seven men in the U.S. has suffered severe physical violence at the hands of an intimate partner. But physical violence isn't the only thing that can happen; emotional abuse is also deeply harmful, and very common for some of our clients.The truth is, there is a way to work with strong emotions without harming a partner. Here, we, as two women who are attracted to men, share our own personal stories of the difference between our feminine storm and our feminine rage. Healthy relationships are predicated on being able to handle conflict well, and that's a skill many of us still need help with.We also help you know: As a man, how do you know whether your partner is within the realm of normal -- if what you're going through is normal?Know that it's always possible to recover from a toxic relationship, and that more is possible.Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:"Allowing women to be emotional and have emotions like anger, rather than shutting down and being intellectual.""Can we work this through together in our shared nervous system?""Many of us shove our anger inside and then we’re tense and anxious and depressed.""It’s masterful to be able to feel an emotion, witness, and communicate about it.""We’re sharing feelings, not dumping feelings.""I want to blame you! I want to make you wrong!"---Mentioned on this episode:Statistics on intimate partner abuse (aka domestic violence) against menDomestic violence hotline for menBorderline Personality Disorder