345: The 4 male "types" who partner with Borderline women (Borderline Personality Disorder) (ft. Violet Lange)

Ever been with a woman partner who was emotionally volatile? Ever felt like you were walking on eggshells, or that no matter what you did it wasn't enough and she was always disappointed in you?

If so, she may have had Borderline Personality Disorder ... or at least traits of it.

More people are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) than schizophrenia and bipolar combined, yet few are familiar with it. Some mental health professionals estimate that a whopping 10% of the population contends with BPD, which psychologists are working to get renamed Emotional Regulation Disorder.

Here, we break down the 4 archetypes of Borderline women, and their male counterparts. Much of this is gleaned from Christine Lawson's book Understanding the Borderline Mother.

We also go over the ways each of the male archetypes can heal from the intense and unstable, exhausting, and often depleting relationship dynamics involved.

Remember: growth and healing are always possible, and nothing is set in stone. Personal growth works, so work it.

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Mentioned on this episode:

• Dear Men episode 128: Feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder
• Dear Men episode 313: GuyTalk: Life after being with a BPD partner (Borderline Personality Disorder)
• Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder (book)
• Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship (book)
• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (book)
• Subreddit for BPD Loved Ones

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "'Children are the first to recognize and the last to admit that something is wrong with their mother.'" (from Understanding the Borderline Mother)
• "My wife is the fortress and I’m here to protect that."
• "There’s a theme of icing people out."
• "I’m willing to leave the relationship if you/we don’t get help."
• "You CAN change your patterns of attraction."