Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

Have you experienced any of the following yourself, or been in a love relationship with a partner who did?You've held beliefs like, "I must be broken," or, "The world is completely dangerous."You constantly tested your partner's loyaltyYou've thought things like, "I'm too much and my needs are too much."You've played out patterns to the effect of: "If I meet your needs perfectly, maybe you won’t hurt me or leave me."You've experienced health issues like chronic pain, gastrointestinal issues, or chronic fatigueYou've alternated between pushing others away or clinging tightlyYou feel confused about your relationship issues because when looking back on your childhood you've thought, "No one overly abused me, so why is this happening?"---If so, you may be dealing with complex PTSD, also known as C-PTSD. Here we delve into what C-PTSD is, what it's not, and what to do about it.We also discuss the reality that trauma is intergenerational by nature. If your parents or their parents didn't get what they needed, and if those folks don't do their healing work, they're extremely likely to pass it on. But you don't have to.Whether you're coming with anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, fearful avoidant attachment, or somewhere in between, know this: Healing is ALWAYS possible.Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:Memorable quotes from this episode:"Developmental trauma can shape personality development.""They may deeply crave closeness while simultaneously fearing it.""This is the nervous system interpreting current stress as old danger.""Intimacy may be disrupted by this internal sense of danger that is hard to name.""Relationships can be a powerful source of repair.""Safe relationships can help reestablish trust, soften defenses, and over a period of time can support emotional regulation.""The body often holds what the mind cannot express.""It’s often intergenerational trauma playing out.""Trauma is both individual and collective.""Healing is absolutely possible. I have seen it!"

We all know the "rules" have changed when it comes to dating and relationships. There are few absolute in terms of how to relate to a dating or relationship partner, which begs questions like:If not money, then what IS the modern man supposed to provide?If you're a man, it may be hard to grasp what a woman truly craves from you. There's good news on this front, though: We women still need you! In fact, many would say we need healthy, passionate, masculine men now more than ever. And there are two very specific things healthy, embodied women truly desire from men. Here we delve into those, and along the way touch on sexy time, how hot it is when a man has a strong backbone, and how to keep up with all the shifting dynamics going on when it comes to sex, love, and dating in the modern world. ---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Mentioned on this episode:Dear Men episode 262: Are you lonely?Dear Men episode 215: Are you intimidated by her big emotions? Here's what to do.Dear Men episode 329: How do you stay grounded when she’s upset or dysregulated?Dear Men episode 305: GuyTalk: Overcoming religious programmingDear men episode 327: Transforming shame into power---Memorable quotes from this episode: "How do I win in this?""Can you provide me steadiness in a turbulent world?""We men are being asked to show up more — with more complexity.""I just avoided conflict … deny, deflect, defend."“If we don’t have a capacity to attune and be present with ourselves, we can’t do it with a partner.""Emotional safety does not mean please and appease.""There’s not a lot we as a couple can do about that until I’ve worked with my own shame.""Women, more than ever, want to be polarized!""Most people want to know their partner wants to f*** them!"

Have you ever doubted? Whether you've doubted yourself, the existence of a higher power, the efficacy of "alternative" healing techniques, or anything that goes against the mainstream -- this has likely come up for you at some point.When Naushad was young, he came very close to being a pro soccer player. But physical injury after injury stymied him, and set him on a path of healing that took him from North to South America and beyond.This is one man's personal journey of going from being a skeptic to a believer. Not a blind faith believer, but one with nuance and consideration -- and longstanding impacts on not only his his sex, dating, and relationship life, but his experience with Life itself.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:“The limiting beliefs started to pick up and escalate.”“I could not sit with myself because there was so much anxiety.”“I had to ask for help, and that has historically been one of the most difficult things for me.”“Immediately all these doors start to open, without me trying.”“The messages are always there; it’s just a matter of whether we’re willing to listen.”“In the seeking, what that meant for me was having the humility to say, ‘I don’t know.’”“I’m in a dark hole and I don’t know what to do.”“The practice becomes not working or trying, but letting go and letting it come through.”“'True faith is being able to step forward when you can’t see.'”“What’s the next right door?”“This is the most important work you’ll ever do in your life.”---Mentioned on this episode:Naushad's site (https://resilientbeing.me/)Book rec: The AlchemistBook rec: The Celestine ProphecyDear Men episode 305: GuyTalk: Overcoming religious programming and trauma

Are you concerned about your lack of experience, whether that's sexually, in a dating context, or time in long-term relationships? Maybe you feel behind in some way, and hesitant or fearful about telling a woman about your level of experience.As Jason says, "For men in particular, it means something about you if you haven’t had sex."If it took you a while to start dating, have sex, or get into a relationship (or if, perhaps, you're not there yet as of today), you're not alone!Here we talk through Jason's experience around pursuing ("The hope was a girl would tell me they liked me, and THEN I would feel comfortable to make the move."); dating without a lot of sexual experience (“I was terrified of what a partner would think.”); and journey around overcoming these patterns ("When you have the right system, growth can happen pretty fast!”)Listen on to feel more relaxed and empowered about your dating and relationship experience -- wherever you're starting from.---Memorable quotes from this episode:"All my somatic, unprocessed wounding would come forward.""There’s this deep sense of being behind.""If you don’t like me, I get hooked on you in a sense.""In my family, we were robots in the same house.""He had people on his team to cross this divide.""I kinda ended up with a partner that I don’t really like.""Every man carries a few arrows in his heart.""Who even wants me? What is my value to society?""It was hard to throw myself into a career when I didn’t know myself.""Opportunity comes from connection."---Mentioned on this episode:DM 196: The “invisible” relationship pattern that can affect everything (on childhood neglect)Book: Of Boys & men: Why the Modern Male is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It

Want to be even sexier to women than you are now? ;) Learn to strike while the iron is hot!Seriously though -- striking while the iron is hot makes you a man who can generate polarity, build trust, and have women want to surrender to you. Knowing how and when to take action is very sexy ... and passivity, not so much. And all of these principles apply whether you're in a dating relationship or you've been married for decades.Here we go through examples of men who've done this well in dating, relationships, and yes, definitely in sex! And we talk about times that we as women have felt confused, rejected, or both -- as well as times we felt lit up, radiant, desired, and HOT for the men in our lives!---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:“Sure, I’m not happy, but at least I know my non-happiness.”“Relationships are a skill.”“I always felt his desire for me and I always knew where I stood and how he felt”"Panty Droppers: 'I’m on it,' 'I’ve got it,' 'I’ll take care of it now.'"“My inner turmoil is more important than your needs.”“I was saying, ‘I need more sex or this relationship won’t be successful.’”“He wasn’t willing to do the hard work — the work to really look at his trauma.""It’s deeply masculine to seek the right counsel.”---Mentioned on this episode:DM episode 332: Have you ever gone into freeze? Here's what's actually going on

Have you ever just felt STUCK? Stuck in your dating life, stuck in your marriage, stuck in your sex life (or stuck in your sex life within your marriage)? As one man on our panel put it, "I felt stuck for most of the 20 years of my marriage."Maybe you've felt trapped -- like you just couldn't work your way out of wherever you were.Here, four men get real about their journey going from totally stuck to in flow.Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:"Women are starving for men who are doing the work.""I felt broken; I felt unworthy; I felt unacceptable; I felt unwanted.""Sex felt unrealistic and out of reach, and it also felt off-limits.""I lived in the regret of the past and the fear of the future (and I was never present).""I felt like I wasn’t desired — I wasn’t wanted.""I got to the point where I just felt like I’d plateaued in therapy; it felt like we weren’t getting anywhere.""'Am I acting OK? Am I making them feel OK?'""I had to WANT to get un-stuck.""I had to decide: Do you want to stay here? Or do you want to do something different?""I didn’t allow myself any space of, 'What do I want?'""I had a huge block with paying money for personal growth; I’d pay money for my hobbies, etc., but not that.""It’s unrealistic that I would know everything; having that humility and curiosity to reach out was critical.""I did the fuckin’ work, and I was ready to do it, and I threw down.""The problem wasn’t that I was unattractive; the problem was that I wasn’t embodied (and didn’t have my head up!).""This is happening to me for a reason. It’s happening because I can handle it, so let’s embrace it.""My confidence and my ability to do life differently grew in all kinds of magical, nourishing, evolved ways.""Now I feel unchained — I feel liberated from the slavery of stuckness.""Trusting the intelligence of my body, and then moving forward from that is transformational in every aspect of life.""This is not where my story ends.""Some of your best friends are yet to be made."---Mentioned on this episode:Episode 305: GuyTalk: Overcoming religious programming

When I ask my male friends, "Do you trust men?" most of them say, pretty unequivocally, "No."Why does this matter?A lot of our clients come to us because they want to improve their dynamics with women. Whether they're single and dating or partnered and seeking more sex, intimacy, closeness, or harmony with their woman, there's a lot of focus on women.So what does a man's relationship to men have to do with it? Why does it matter to know whether you trust men, if you're working on healthy relationships and sex with women?For one, as Jason puts it: "As a man, if you have never experienced healthy masculine energy on the outside, it is almost certain you will have a hard time trusting it inside yourself, too."And if you don't trust your own inner masculine, it will be very challenging for you to generate sexual polarity, set boundaries, or go after the things you want (including women and intimacy).The thing is, most men don't trust men because a lot of men aren't trust-able! Millions of boys and young men are bullied, for example. Whether by a parent, sibling, or classmate, a large percentage of men experience bullying as children, teenagers, or adults.As the medical director for the LA Department of Children and Family Services puts it, "A bully gains power in a relationship by reducing another’s, and shows little regard for the consequences to a victim’s health or well-being."Fortunately you can reclaim your relationship to the healthy masculine, and this will directly impact you having a healthy relationship with yourself as well as women in your life.Whether you're single looking for dating advice, married looking for relationship advice, or somewhere in between, this is a vital -- and often under-explored -- topic.---Quotes from this episode:"Many men have been the recipient of masculine dysregulation.""One of the big crises for men is lack of role models.""The patriarchy is extremely damaging to men.""It’s a step a lot of guys want to skip.""The sense is on-guard vigilance.""All I have to do is be here.""Men can become my allies.""Masculinity is a transmission, and without witnessing the healthy, deep versions of it is essential.""The power of groups is healing peer relationships."---Mentioned on this episode:DM 114: Bullying, resilience, and relationships

Want to generate sexual heat, and also inspire safety and a sense of belonging in your partner? Learn how to claim her!We've talked about claiming before on the podcast, especially with respect to building polarity. When a man is on the more passive side, it can feel lackluster and also confusing. As one woman put it, "Do you even want me?" This throws off polarity.When he knows how to take inspired action and lead by claiming us, we want to see him more! We feel the polarity. And because of that we feel more relaxed, uplifted, and yes, you guessed it: turned on!Here we delve more into what it means to us to feel claimed in sex, dating, and relationships -- and why we adore it.Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from the episode:"Claiming is NOT controlling.""I felt like ‘no’ was not an acceptable answer." "You get the Friday 4pm text: ‘What are you up to tonight?’"“He came towards me with a smile.”“That was really great. I would love to take you to dinner sometime next week. When are you free?”“I want you next to me. I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”“This is in service of our relationship and our love and our connection.”“You don’t have to carry the burden for every asshole.”“The experiences you want to have with women are just a claim away!”

When Wayne Forrest was 25 years old, he was a strong, rugby-playing farmer who was married with two twin babies.Then he had an accident on the rugby field and broke his neck. A doctor said he would never walk again. His wife wouldn't touch him anymore. And he thought, "How the hell am I going to survive this?"What follows is his story, which touches on everything from love, sex, and dating, to dependence, interdependence, and the power of the human spirit. As Wayne puts it, the Inner Warrior is the most important element of our lives, yet we rarely have a strong relationship with it.What does it mean to be a modern warrior? How to we re-envision manhood, masculinity, and power? I believe the answers lie in discussions like these.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:“I put myself in danger to prove that I was enough (or good enough).”“Having to rely on everybody … was quite an extreme moment.”“We’ve got a deeper intelligence that’s connected to everything.”“It’s funny how you make a decision and the universe puts the right people in front of you.”“She started throwing mud at me in the yard and I thought, ‘Ahhh, I’ve got her!’”“Be curious and question every belief you have.”"It takes a load off!"---Mentioned on this episode:Wayne's site, and to book a call: https://www.wayneforrest.com/your-inner-warrior-strategy-call

What does it mean to be a good husband?Many men we work with were trained to take care of everyone else before themselves. They often feel burnt out, and like they don't get nearly as much back as they give.If you've ever felt like you've tried everything you can to make your woman happy, but this only results in both of you being miserable ... you might be able to relate.Or perhaps you've lived some version of, "No matter how hard I try to please her -- how much I do -- it's never enough."Here, we talk about why this is. If he's bending over backwards to do what he thinks she wants, why doesn't it work?The answer lies in part with polarity, in part with childhood trauma (because of course), and in part with the fallacies of being a lone wolf.Related questions we cover:What does it mean to be a provider in modern times? (Hint: It's got nothing to do with money)How does this pattern impact sexual polarity?If it's not about sacrifice, then what does it actually mean to be a good husband?---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:“If we’re used to taking care of everyone else, we’ll often attract someone who needs to be taken care of.”“The trouble with ‘please and appease’ is that it leads to deep resentments.”“We have this fantasy that if she were happy, she'd naturally give me what I need, whether sexual connection, support, time, etc.”“When we feel a partner not respecting themselves, it causes contempt or disdain.”“What it means to be a provider is changing.”“The most valuable status is connection to community.”“Our relationships should be a source of wellness.”---Mentioned on this episode:Dear Men 196: Were you a child of emotional neglect?Dear Men 345: The 4 male "types" who partner with Borderline women (Borderline Personality Disorder)Dear Men 292: Sex life with your wife not where you want it to be? This could be the culprit