There's a certain quality in men that a lot of women long for -- and I mean long for it from the depths of their beings -- but often don't talk about.Why don't they? Because a lot of women (myself included) hold a certain amount of shame around wanting it in the first place.And what is the quality? It's an aspect of healthy masculinity that we don't often discuss, but we're putting front and center here.I've also noticed that in every chick lit novel I've ever read (a version of romance), men exhibit this quality, and the women melt for it. When I myself read the books and these parts come up, my whole body relaxes.This is a quality that builds immense emotional safety in a relationship, whether you're still in the dating phase or you're married. If you want to be her hero and have her feel truly safe with you, listen on!---Memorable quotes from this episode:"The women I was first attracted to were those I perceived as needing help, support, a savior.""The excess of the caregiver archetype is the martyr.""It’s about making the other person’s life just a little bit easier.""We don’t ask for it because we feel like we’re too much.""True nurturing is laying the groundwork around you — letting you grow in the fullness of yourself."---Mentioned on this episode:One of our favorite songs: Banks by NEEDTOBREATHEScott's organization, The Inspiring Men ProjectDear Men episode 128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder

Ever felt intimidated when your woman was upset (about something that involved you)? Ever gotten defensive, stonewalled, or made her wrong -- "that's not what I meant, so you shouldn't feel that way"?You're not alone!And there's a high cost; this can be exhausting for you. Whether you're just dating or married, if you're at the mercy of her feelings, you likely feel out of control. You're only OK if she's OK. And you're not OK if she's not OK.The truth is, holding space for a woman’s upset or hurt is one of the most profound ways you can love her. It also builds safety in a relationship in a way nothing else can.Learn to do this skillfully, and you will experience true freedom in relationship. Bonus? You knowing how to hold her full range of expression will als leads to very hot sex. ;) When she feels deeply accepted and held, even in her "big" feelings, she will often open to you like a gorgeous, radiant flower.

When it comes to love relationships, whether you're dating or in a committed, long-term relationship, there's one place where you need to be skillful or it will all just fall apart.It might not happen right away; you might get through the honeymoon period or even get married and it might be fine. But little by little, if this skill isn't developed and you as a couple can't "get there," you're very likely to end up in a sexless relationship, or a volatile one that you feel like you can't get out of.Here we get vulnerable about what we've seen not work in this area, and what we've seen be uplifting and helpful.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

We've worked with a lot of men who fit into the category of Nice Guys (a la Dr. Robert Glover's famous book, No More Mr. Nice Guy). And we've witnessed tremendous grown, the breaking of old patterns and habits, and astounding progress in these men.Here, we discuss the top 3 things we've seen Nice Guys do to get to get what they want -- and how to transform in ways that are lasting. We discuss patterns that lead to breakthroughs, and celebrate the wins of men who've experienced them.Remember: Even when things feel hopeless or stuck, someone has come before you. You are not alone, and personal growth work works. Keep the faith. We are with you.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:“She likes me for emotional support, but she’s not attracted to me.”“Now I don’t have to hold that, ‘What if?’”“You don’t have to get stuck in the purgatory that a lot of Nice Guys are in.”“He really just owned it.”“This frozen place starts to thaw out and they just start moving.”

Navigating anxiety in relationships is a common struggle for couples. Men often mistakenly jump to solutions instead of providing the emotional support their partners crave. Personal anecdotes illustrate how effective reassurance and active listening can truly comfort anxious women. The importance of 'holding space' and validating feelings fosters deeper connections, enhancing intimacy. Ultimately, learning to soothe anxiety not only strengthens bonds but also makes men more attractive to their partners.

According to my sex research, women's number one sex problem is physical pain.The truth is, it's painful when sex hurts -- for both people. Not just for the person experiencing it, but for their partner.How do you handle it if she has pain during sex, whether you're just starting out in dating or you're in a committed relationship? And how do you handle your own emotional pain or guilt around still having sexual needs?If you've ever been with a woman who was sleeping with you because she felt she "should," you know the pain of which I speak. Perhaps you were married and you sensed that she saw it as her wifely duty to keep you sexually satisfied. But that's not what you wanted -- you wanted her to be an enthusiastic participant in sex, not a passive recipient who was only doing it to please you.Here, Z describes the ways she was actually quite sexually closed as a newlywed, despite having sex with her partner. She talks about the shifts she and her husband went through once they got married ... and how (lack of) sex played a big role in why they got divorced.There are also deeper layers underlying this issue, and we delve into them. And spoiler alert -- the good news is that this story has a happy ending. Healing is always possible, and Z has experienced it. Sex is now pleasurable for her, and she's far more sexually open than before.Remember: Personal growth works, so work it.---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

Ever felt like there was a "right" answer to a question a woman asked you, or a "right" way to respond to a situation with her? Did it feel like if you did the "wrong" thing, there would be consequences? Then you've likely been tested!Testing (also known as "feminine testing" -- or sometimes a term I personally dislike -- "shit testing" -- can be a confusing and frustrating experience to be on the receiving end of. Testing can happen in the early phases of dating, as well as once you're in a long-term committed relationship.As is true with many things in sex, dating, and relationships, there are nuances here that make this complex. Many women aren't even consciously aware of their tests. For others, testing is about seeking some kind of control; or a trauma background means they're very invested in ensuring that they know the truth, and testing is how they believe they're sure to get it.Here we share our own personal experiences of testing -- how we define it, why we did/do it, what it sounded like, and the vulnerabilities underneath. We also discuss how the ways a man responds to tests can potentially lead to more connection, respect, and, ultimately, love.As one member of GirlTalk put it, "At the core level it's, 'Do you love me?'"---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:"For me, knowing the truth has me feel safe.""How hard is he trying to see me and get to know me better?""It’s OK that you’re angry with me right now.""Will you fight for me to stay?""Are you going to create space for me to talk about my feelings?" "I really want to hear what you have to share. It’s important to me."

In this discussion, Jason Lange, an expert on polarity and masculine presence, sheds light on the enigmatic behavior of 'poking' in relationships. He explains this action signifies a call for deeper emotional connection and presence. They explore how misunderstanding these pokes can escalate tensions, emphasizing the need for emotional awareness. Jason also highlights personal growth's significance and how acknowledging vulnerabilities can foster compassion and trust in love. It's all about moving beyond surface-level reactions to enhance intimacy.

Ever gotten the sense that a woman is sizing you up ... deciding whether you match up with a list she has in her head around her ideal partner?You might be right. Whether you're online dating, speed dating, or meeting someone in real life, a lot of women do have a list, and it can be confusing or even frustrating when you interface with it.Here, we discuss the nuances of "the list" -- the why behind it, how to engage with it, and the tension between the need to be open/flexible, and the need to stick with personal boundaries.If you have your own list, you’ll likely also relate to this. And you may also relate to the feeling of wanting things to be neat and tidy — to be fully prepared for relationship and have your partner match up with all your expectations.To which I’d share Violet's words: “Would I rather be alone for the next decade, or would I rather have the experience of loving and being loved, and have it be messy?"---Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes from this episode:“He has a nice resume; I thought he’d be a good guy.”“My desires and yearnings are holy and I want them to be fulfilled.”“When we cut off our heart in dating, we’re missing a rich human experience.”“You never know what’s going to delight and surprise you.”“If you want emotional safety, you have to be vulnerable.”

What does it actually mean to be needy? We use the term a lot, and sometimes in less-than-kind ways -- both in terms of describing others as well as ourselves.Having needs is a universal experiences. Humans, animals, plants, and every living thing has certain needs. Human beings need food, water, and sleep on a biological level -- and we also need love, respect, and a sense of belonging. If we don't have these needs met, then we have reactions. In a love relationship, it can feel difficult or even overwhelming to advocate for certain needs to be met -- for example, physical affection, quality one-on-one attention, or sex. Neediness nearly always stems from old wounds, so it can be hard to bring this kind of thing forward with a partner.The truth is, we're all needy. We all have certain needs, and our partner is not responsible for meeting all of them all of the time. But there's a balance to be had, which involves navigating difference and being willing to hang in there through discomfort.Here, we explore the themes around sex, dating, relationships, needs, desires, and the nervous system.—Memorable quotes from this episode:"Now it’s about advocating clearly for what I need.""There’s a place in relationships for healthy generosity.""What would I need to be a ‘yes’ to this?""It this doesn’t shift, I’m going to take a certain action for myself.""It can feel like, ‘If it’s not here, I’m doomed.'"