Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

348: ‘I wish we had sex more.’ (ft. Violet Lange)

Feb 14, 2025

Violet Lange, an expert in feminine energy and sexuality, offers enlightening insights into the deeper desires behind intimacy in relationships. She discusses how many men feel disconnected and wish for more sexual connection, not just physical intimacy but a sense of their partner’s feminine essence. Lange emphasizes the importance of emotional transparency and playful exploration in rekindling desire. She also highlights societal challenges women face in embracing their desires and the transformative power of community and self-expression.

59:18

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Violet Lange

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Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

Many men in relationships seek not just more sex, but a deeper emotional connection and playful engagement with their partners.

Women often interpret men's desires for intimacy as feelings of inadequacy, highlighting the need for open communication about emotional needs.

Creating an emotionally safe space enables couples to explore vulnerabilities, leading to enhanced intimacy and connection in their relationships.

Deep dives

The Shift in Relationship Dynamics

Many men in relationships feel a decrease in intimacy and playfulness, often expressing a desire for more sexual connection. They may voice frustrations about their partners being too busy with responsibilities, such as work and childcare, leading to a sense of emotional disconnect. This feeling of change can stem from life milestones, like having kids, which can alter the energy dynamics within the relationship. Such shifts highlight the deeper longing that men have for emotional engagement and a rekindling of the playful flirtation that originally drew them to their partners.

Intro

4min

Decoding Sexual Desires in Relationships

3min

Navigating Intimacy and Connection

13min

Embracing Feminine Energy

28min

Embracing Femininity: Overcoming Self-Doubt in Relationships

3min

Empowerment and Intimacy in Relationships

8min

A common pattern in a lot of love relationships sounds like one partner (often a man, in a man/woman dynamic) saying things like:

"I wish you weren’t so busy with the kids."
"You never dress up for me anymore."
"I wish you'd flirt with me more."
"You hide yourself from me; I never really see your body anymore."
"I wish we had more sex."

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What's driving this, and how does a couple navigate it skillfully? A lot of men yearn for more sexual connection with their partner -- but it's not just about the sex. And the way a lot of men go about talking about this with their woman partner ends up being triggering for the woman.

Here we discuss what we've witnessed in terms of men's deep desire for not just sex, but their partner's enthusiastic participation. And we dive right into what's even underneath that: The ache to feel her feminine essence.

This is about more than just incorporating sex toys or trying out a new position. This is about the depth and power and range of the open feminine. Get ready for a hell of a ride!

Memorable quotes from this episode

“I wasn’t open and didn’t know how to open.”
“To the men, it’s like a vitamin.”
“It’s the sense of aliveness as it changes moment to moment.”
“A lot of times what women are hearing is, ‘I’m not enough.’”
“I want to feel lust for life! I want to feel playful and lighthearted and irreverent.”
“The essence of the feminine is desire and emotion.”
“When women are in their full range, the relationship accelerates.”
“I want you to enjoy it; I want you feel your pleasure and your desire, and I know that’s in you.”

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Mentioned on this episode:

Please Her In Bed: A Course for Men, Designed by Women (www.pleaseherinbed.com)
ROSE Code by Violet Lange: www.violetlange.com/rosecode

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