The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast

Austin Ellis, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, discusses the keys to becoming a better man, husband, and father. He emphasizes the importance of relational safety and how men's emotional withdrawal can harm marriages. Austin provides actionable advice like the 90-second return technique to foster calm responses. He highlights that true intimacy comes from a man's presence and ownership, encouraging husbands to reconnect with their identity and actively seek feedback from their wives to create a safe environment.

We talk about this all the time on the Ultimate Intimacy podcast — emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy go hand in hand. You can’t expect a strong sex life if you’re not emotionally connected first.For most people, especially many women desire doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts with feeling heard, valued, and emotionally safe. If that connection is missing, sexual intimacy often disappears right along with it.That’s why when couples say, “Our intimacy isn’t where we want it to be,” we usually ask them how the emotional connection is, and most the time it isn't connected either.When you focus on listening, showing appreciation, spending intentional time together, and connecting without pressure, walls come down and desire naturally begins to return.And here’s the exciting part... when emotional intimacy improves, sexual intimacy often comes back stronger than ever. Couples become more open, playful, and connected, and intimacy turns into something you both look forward to again.So if you want a better intimate life, don’t skip the foundation.Build emotional closeness first, and watch every part of your marriage thrive.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

One of the fastest ways intimacy erodes in marriage is through assumption.We assume our spouse knows what we need.We assume they understand how we feel.We assume love means they should just “get it.”But marriage doesn’t work on mind-reading as we have talked about before, it works on communication.When we assume things, we stop asking questions. And when we stop asking questions, we stop truly knowing our spouse. Over time, those assumptions turn into unmet expectations, and unmet expectations almost always lead to frustration, resentment, or emotional distance.Dr. John Gottman, one of the leading marriage researchers, talks about “bids for connection” the small moments where one spouse reaches out for attention, affection, or understanding. When those bids are ignored, often because of assumptions, couples slowly drift apart. Assumptions also damage sexual intimacy. When one spouse assumes rejection, disinterest, or “now’s not a good time,” desire goes unspoken. Silence replaces vulnerability. And eventually, intimacy feels awkward or distant, not because love is gone, but because communication is.In this episode, Nick and Amy talk about how making assumptions or assuming things in marriage can crate a lot of disconnect and conflict.Healthy marriages don’t assume. They ask.They clarify.They check in.They choose conversation over silence.Because love isn’t proven by how well you guess, it’s proven by how well you listen.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Couples learn to set achievable marriage goals for 2026, moving beyond mere attempts to create real change. The hosts highlight the importance of protecting quality time with scheduled date nights and meaningful conversations. They stress the need for joint financial planning and support for each other's growth. Communication techniques, like using conversation starters, are shared to deepen intimacy. A focus on appreciation and resolving conflicts healthily helps foster a safe and loving environment in relationships.

In relationships, the dynamics of desire can be tricky. Lower-desire spouses initiating intimacy can create powerful emotional connections and enhance feelings of love. Fun and flirty ideas like surprise lingerie, sexy texts, or even playful props can spice things up. Scheduling intimacy and using games can also foster closeness. It's all about building anticipation and taking turns to ensure both partners feel valued. Join the challenge to boost your weekly connection and reignite the passion!

In most marriages (whether done intentionally or unintentionally), the lower desire spouse typically has complete control and say so when it comes to sex. They determine "if" a couple is going to have sex, "when" they are going to have sex, and everything related to sex in the relationship. Many husbands have expressed to us that they are the higher desire spouse and are scared to initiate sex with their wife for fear of rejection, having it cause an argument or conflict, and many other reasons. Because of this, and the fact that most women have a responsive desire style, many couples are not connecting sexually in their relationship (and often living in sexless marriages, or close to) because sex in the marriage is typically up to the wife.In this podcast episode Nick and Amy discuss the reasons why this is, and how couples can work together to find a balance in their sexual intimacy and relationship where both spouses needs and desires are being met, and sex is something that both spouses have mutual respect and control over in the relationship.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.*This episode was recorded and published a few years ago and we released it again.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we (Nick and Amy) sit down with world-renowned author and counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, best known for The 5 Love Languages. With over 20 million copies sold and translations in more than 50 languages, Dr. Chapman has helped millions of couples transform their relationships.We talk with Gary about why it’s so vital to know and speak each other’s love languages, how to keep your spouse's “love tank” full, and why listening to understand, not just to respond, can transform your marriage. He also shares insights on staying curious, asking meaningful questions, and creating deeper emotional connection.This is a must-listen episode for any couple who wants to grow closer, communicate better, and truly transform their marriage.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Even the strongest couples can fall into trap of making "common" mistakes that can slowly erode connection and intimacy. These mistakes often happen when we get complacent and think things are going well. In this episode, Nick and Amy share the top mistakes couples make, and the practical steps they used to rebuild trust and strengthen their own marriage. Whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, this episode is packed with insights, stories, and actionable advice to help you grow closer and keep your relationship thriving.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

How often do you tell yourself, or hear from your spouse the phrase "I will try harder" and things never seem to get better? Things don't get better just by trying... you have to have a game plan and start doing.In this very impactful episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we interview Nate Whitson where he reveals how to finally stop "trying" and actually start "doing" when it comes to breaking bad habits in your marriage, or in your personal life. He share the 4 things you can start doing that actually work!1. Make Bad Habits InvisibleNate breaks down how reshaping your environment weakens temptation instantly. When a habit is out of sight, it loses its power.2. Make Them UnattractiveLearn how to rewire the way you see your habits so they lose their appeal. A simple mindset shift can turn old patterns from comforting to unwanted.3. Make Them DifficultFriction works! Discover how adding small obstacles to harmful behaviors slows them down and gives you space to choose something better.4. Make Them UnsatisfyingBad habits stick because they reward you. We show you how to flip the reward system and create accountability and positive payoffs that strengthen your relationship.If there are some bad habits in your marriage, or in life, this episode can be a game changer for you!If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Is your daily life starting to feel like a copy-paste loop? Wake up, work, errands, dishes, Netflix, sleep and repeat? Feeling like the movie ground hog day? Do you feel bored in your life and marriage. You’re not alone, MANY couples feel this exact same way. In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we dive into a wonderfully practical and hope-filled conversation based on a fantastic blog article written by our good friend Nate Klemp, co-author of The 80/80 Marriage.Whether you’re juggling kids, jobs, carpools, and clutter… or you’re just noticing each day blending into the next. Instead of escaping domestic life or chasing constant thrill, he offers two simple but transformative ideas: little novelty and happy boredom.This episode is honest, relatable, and full of small shifts that can make a big difference in your connection as a couple. If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!