The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast 433. The Secret To Becoming A Better Man, Husband And Father - With Austin Ellis LMFT
Jan 9, 2026
Austin Ellis, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, discusses the keys to becoming a better man, husband, and father. He emphasizes the importance of relational safety and how men's emotional withdrawal can harm marriages. Austin provides actionable advice like the 90-second return technique to foster calm responses. He highlights that true intimacy comes from a man's presence and ownership, encouraging husbands to reconnect with their identity and actively seek feedback from their wives to create a safe environment.
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Shift From Blame To Next-Step Building
- 70% of divorces are initiated by women, signaling a major trend in relationship breakdowns.
- Focusing on building connection and next-step solutions matters more than dissecting past blame.
Safety Is The Core Feminine Need
- Women in therapy consistently talk about needing safety; men rarely name safety as a primary need.
- Creating felt safety is a key lever to restore attraction and closeness in marriages.
Men Reengaging Creates Momentum
- When a man reengages and takes responsibility, women often move toward reconnection or examine internal blocks.
- A man's proactive reengagement usually increases willingness to work together.
