The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

Dr Jordin Wiggins ND
undefined
Sep 18, 2025 • 26min

#194 Why Super Traits Keep High-Achieving Women Lonely and Stuck in Relationships

JOIN US FOR THE FREE Super Trait Masterclass,  October 2nd at 1pm ET/10am PT. The Truth About Why Successful Women Struggle In Intimacy HERE High-achieving women are praised for their empathy, loyalty, and hard work, but these same super traits often become survival strategies that leave them exhausted, lonely, and stuck in relationships. The very qualities that help women succeed in their careers, families, and communities are the ones that quietly drain their desire, connection, and pleasure. For nearly two decades, I have worked with women in every stage of rebuilding after infidelity, illness, divorce, or the collapse of a business. No matter the circumstance, the pattern is the same. Women with super traits give more than they get. They overfunction, carry the invisible workload, excuse harmful behavior, and think 20 steps ahead for everyone else. Over time, this imbalance destroys intimacy, leaves them unfulfilled, and convinces them that they are the problem when the real issue is their conditioning. Super traits are not flaws. They are amplified strengths that become over-functioning survival strategies. Without understanding them, women waste years blaming hormones, childhood, or communication styles while repeating the same painful patterns. Take the free Super Trait Quiz through the link in the show notes to discover the number one high-achieving quality that helped you succeed but now blocks your ability to receive rest and love. Join me live on October 2 for the Super Traits Masterclass, JOIN HERE, where you will learn why effort and patience have not brought the intimacy you crave and the first step to creating a relationship that feels mutual, alive, and sustainable. Take the FREE Super Traits Quiz HERE to discover your top traits and learn how they are shaping your relationships. You can also apply for my Creating Pleasure-Centred Relationships for Women with Super Traits 8 Week Intensive - Stop Fixing the Wrong Problem and Finally Create the Relationships (and Orgasms) You’ve Been Craving. Join us by CLICKING HERE. Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 15ST, 2025   Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]  
undefined
Sep 11, 2025 • 30min

#193 How Tone Policing Leads to Loss of Intimacy and Low Libido

Join the FREE Super Trait Masterclass October 2nd, 2025 @ 1pmET/10amPT The Truth About Why Successful Women Struggle In Intimacy. JOIN FOR FREE HERE   I am feeling direct today, and it could be the eight cortados I had while writing content. There are a few things that are always true after working with thousands of women with super traits. If he cannot handle your tone, he is never going to be able to handle the full force of your desire, your orgasm, and your passion. Tone policing is not about communication; it is about control. When your needs and frustrations get dismissed because of how you said them instead of what you actually said. Your nervous system learns it is not safe to be fully expressed. That same shutdown shows up in the bedroom and is the reason so many women with super traits feel exhausted, resentful, and sexless in their marriages. Tone policing keeps women performing instead of receiving, and it robs intimacy and desire. Therapy and communication tips often fail for women with super traits because they miss the real issue. Power dynamics, not hormones, not stress, and not communication formulas are the barrier to real intimacy. If you are wondering why you can orgasm alone but not with your partner, why you feel shut down, or why your marriage feels sexless, this will give you the language and clarity you need. Take the FREE Super Traits Quiz HERE to discover your top traits and learn how they are shaping your relationships. You can also apply for my Creating Pleasure-Centred Relationships for Women with Super Traits 8 Week Intensive - Stop Fixing the Wrong Problem and Finally Create the Relationships (and Orgasms) You’ve Been Craving. Join us in by CLICKING HERE. Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 15ST, 2025   Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]  
undefined
Sep 4, 2025 • 26min

#192 Why Smart Women Get Stuck in Extractive Relationships Instead of Pleasure-Centered Ones

Most high-achieving women don’t even realize they are living in an extractive relationship. You give and give in your relationship, in your career, and at home, and wonder why you feel exhausted, unseen, untouched, and unfulfilled. You blame your hormones, your libido, your partner’s attachment style, or your parents. You go to therapy, plan date nights, and try lingerie, but none of it works because the real issue isn't communication; it is extraction and power dynamics. The invisible dynamics are silently draining your health, your desire, and your power. Super traits like loyalty, empathy, forgiveness, and brilliance make you a high performer in your career, but destroy intimacy when they go unchecked. Sex becomes transactional; you carry all the emotional labor, and your body starts shutting down to conserve energy. An extractive relationship feels like survival, resentment, and going through the motions. A pleasure-centered relationship feels mutual, alive, and sustaining. The pleasure path is the reset that helps rebuild your nervous system, unlearn survival strategies, and reclaim your right to be fully met. You don’t need to leave to start healing, but you do need a new map. Claim your spot inside Relationship 2.0 and start building the pleasure-centered relationship you deserve. Join us in the Pleasure Principles™ Group Program with Dr. Jordin Wiggins ND HERE  Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 1ST, 2025 Take the FREE Super Traits Quiz HERE Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]
undefined
Aug 28, 2025 • 26min

#191 Why You Only Want Sex on Vacation. How to Get Desire Back at Home

Join us in the Pleasure Principles™ Group Program with Dr. Jordin Wiggins ND HERE  Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 1ST, 2025 Summer is almost over, and I see a lot of my clients getting caught up in loops. You know that version of you that shows up on vacation. The one who laughs more easily, who says yes to sex, who feels lighter and more present in her body. Or maybe, like me, you have lived years experiencing a vacation from a bird’s-eye view, outside of your body, because of how burnt out you were. That woman isn’t fake. That’s you. But on vacation, you are not free to show up day to day either. Vacation sex is a lot like affair sex. All of the dopamine, none of the responsibility. If your relationship feels like a job and you only feel sparks or connection when you are away from your real life and responsibilities, this conversation is for you. You might be wondering why you only feel desire on vacation, why you crave sex when you are stress-free, but shut down as soon as you are home. Desire is not gone. It is buried under responsibility, gender roles, patriarchy, and nervous system overload. Vacation sex is not proof that your relationship is fine. It is proof that your desire remains. We are looking at the patterns that keep you blaming hormones or libido when what is really happening is your body protecting you. We are talking about bread crumbing, over-functioning, and super traits like empathy and achievement that erode intimacy without you even realizing it. Your erotic power and your desire do not need an escape. They need a new map. This is the first step on the pleasure path and the reason therapy, communication tips, or sex hacks have not worked. Once you can name the invisible dynamics at play, the path back to erotic aliveness and pleasure-centered relationships becomes clear. Take the FREE Super Traits Quiz HERE EP198 Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]
undefined
Aug 21, 2025 • 21min

#190 Why Strong Women Overlook Betrayal and Red Flags in Relationships

Join us in the Pleasure Principles™ Group Program with Dr. Jordin Wiggins ND HERE  Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 1ST, 2025   I was asked recently why successful, hardworking, intuitive women stay in emotionally harmful relationships. This was me. This is many of my clients. The truth is, we have super traits. The same traits that make us incredible in our careers, the ability to handle anything, to anticipate needs, and to stay calm under pressure, can also keep us from seeing just how harmful the relationship really is. Last week alone, I had a client discover her partner’s affair. I had another navigating her partner’s drinking. And another who found out her husband had opened another business and invested a large amount of their shared money without her consent. These are not small things. They are moments that rip the blinders off and make you see the truth you have been avoiding. In this episode, we talk about how super traits work against us in love, why we tolerate what should never be tolerated, and what it takes to finally stop normalizing the unacceptable. Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]
undefined
Aug 14, 2025 • 27min

#189 How to Build a Pleasure-Centered Relationship from the Inside Out

Most women don’t need another date night, another vacation, or better communication strategies. What they need is a radical unlearning of everything they were taught about love and intimacy. Because even the good relationships are built on extraction. Not reciprocity. Not mutuality. Not pleasure. If your relationship feels like a second job, if your body is numb, if you’ve been blaming your hormones or your libido and nothing ever really changes, this episode will hit deep. You’ve been rewarded for self-sacrifice your entire life. You are the one who holds it all. The one who fixes. The one who over-functions while feeling like your needs are too much. That’s not connection. That’s performance. That’s survival. And it’s killing your desire. This is where we name what’s really going on. The invisible emotional labor. The power imbalances are hiding in plain sight. The way women with super traits are conditioned to have their power extracted and their pleasure pathologized. So what does a pleasure-centered relationship actually looks like? A relationship where mutual joy, emotional safety, and erotic connection are prioritized. Not logistics. Not roles. Not appearances. A relationship where your nervous system can soften, your needs are valid, and your body is safe to receive. If you’re ready to stop performing pleasure and start feeling it, take the Pleasure Path Assessment [TAKE IT BY CLICKING HERE] and find out where you are. And if this resonates with you, I’ve opened two private coaching spots [APPLY HERE] this fall for women who are ready to transform everything about the way they love. You don’t need to leave your relationship. But you do need to leave the version of yourself that disappears inside it. Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]
undefined
Aug 7, 2025 • 25min

#188 Is He a Great Partner or Just Really Good at Control? The Good Guy Gaslighter

Your nervous system already knows what your mind has been trained not to see. “He’s a great guy.” “He’s a good dad.” “He means well.” These are the phrases that keep brilliant, high-achieving women stuck in sexless, disconnected, emotionally manipulative relationships. I’m naming the pattern you’ve been taught not to see… the good guy gaslighter. It’s the new face of power and control and it’s quietly draining your desire and destroying your self-worth. And might be the reason you are not feeling like showing up intimacy for your parter even when you know you want it. I’m breaking down DARVO tactics, tone policing, covert control, and how the very traits that make you successful, your super traits, are being used against you in intimacy. If you’re performing connection while starving for it. If you’re craving sex but feel invisible. if you’re doing all the work and still not getting your needs met. This one’s for you. Connect with Jordin Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]
undefined
Jul 31, 2025 • 1h 3min

#187 The Truth About Estrogen & Breast Cancer That No One Is Telling Women

If you’ve ever been told that estrogen causes breast cancer, or that your mammogram will save your life, or that your only option is to “cut, poison, and burn,” this episode is going to challenge everything you’ve been taught. Dr. Jenn Simmons joins me for an honest conversation about what actually causes breast cancer, why the screening model is flawed, and how functional medicine is changing the game. Dr. Jenn was one of the top breast cancer surgeons in Philadelphia. She was the first fellowship-trained breast surgeon in her city. The first onco-plastic surgeon in the state. She was saving lives and doing everything by the book. Until one day, her own health collapsed. She went from being one of the most high-functioning people in the room to not being able to walk across it. When the system she worked in told her she needed chemo, radiation, and lifelong meds, a voice inside her said, there is something more. Go find it. And she did. She now leads a movement to help women prevent and reverse breast cancer using evidence-based functional medicine, hormone support, and real prevention strategies rooted in nutrition, detoxification, and nervous system health. We talk about what really causes breast cancer, how chronic stress and overachievement contribute to disease, why estrogen is not the enemy, the damage of overtreatment and fear-based care, how to actually screen for breast cancer without radiation, and what needs to happen to stop the silent suffering of survivors. This episode is for every woman who’s been told to be grateful just to be alive while she quietly suffers in pain, incontinence, insomnia, low libido, and fear. It’s for the woman who wants more than survival. And it’s for every high-achieving, burnt-out, hormone-depleted woman who needs a wake-up call before the body says no. If you’ve ever felt like no one was telling the whole truth about women’s health, this conversation is your proof that you’re not crazy. The system is broken. And there are other answers. Connect with Jordin Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. Private Coaching for High-Achieving Women Who Want It All  Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]   Connect with Dr. Jenn Simmons Check out Dr. Jenn’s work at Real Health MD. Instagam @drjennsimmons Get Imaging: https://www.perfeqtionimaging.com/          
undefined
Jul 24, 2025 • 25min

#186 Kink Isn’t About Pain It’s About Power and Presence

If you’ve ever been called intimidating, too much, or one of the boys. If you’ve had to explain how you like to be touched more times than you can count. If the idea of surrender feels terrifying because you’re the one who always needs to be in control. This episode is your permission slip. We are talking about kink. Not in the way you think. This is not about whips or pain or anything performative. This is about kink as a nervous system tool. A way back into your body. A space where you can finally stop performing, stop leading, and just feel. This episode is about what high-achieving women need when it comes to intimacy and why most of us don’t even know how much we’re craving surrender. I talk about power dynamics, topping from the bottom, and how we perform safety just like we perform sex. I'm sharing what I’ve seen in my clients who say they want to be dominant but want to be held. And I explain why this isn’t our fault. We’ve had to be in control to survive. But now, it’s time to learn how to receive. To feel. To reclaim our erotic power. Kink is a portal. And this episode is the doorway.   Private Coaching for High-Achieving Women Who Want It All  Success, intimacy, pleasure,  you don’t have to choose. Learn how to create deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you’ve built. [APPLY HERE]   Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire.   Connect with Jordin Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] #120 - The Art Of Aftercare: An Essential Element Missing From The Relationships of High-Achieving Women [LISTEN HERE] #157 The 5 Super Traits Blocking Your Desire  [LISTEN HERE]
undefined
Jul 17, 2025 • 15min

#185 10 Phrases That Turn High-Achieving Women On When She is Burned Out (Make Her Want Sex Again)

The 10 Phrases That Make Her Want Sex Again She came on the call overwhelmed, crusty, resentful. She left flushed, smiling, turned on. If you’ve built your life on doing things right and still feel disconnected from sex, this episode is for you. We are talking about what actually helps high achieving women want sex again. Not dirty talk. Not pressure. Not more performance. These are ten phrases that soften your jaw, land you in your body, and let your nervous system breathe. Because when you are always leading, adjusting, and accommodating, there is no room for your pleasure. If you are tired of wondering what happened to you, if sex feels like pressure or something you avoid, or if you only want it to feel close and then get blamed for wanting too much, this is the moment it all starts to make sense. You are not broken. You are in survival mode. And these ten phrases help you come home. Take the Pleasure Path Assessment and find the erotic shutdown style and super traits that are keeping you stuck. Let’s get you back to the sex you actually want.   Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire.   Connect with Jordin Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]   #157 The 5 Super Traits Blocking Your Desire  [LISTEN HERE]  

The AI-powered Podcast Player

Save insights by tapping your headphones, chat with episodes, discover the best highlights - and more!
App store bannerPlay store banner
Get the app