The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins #201 Why Successful Women Confuse Control with Love
High-achieving women with super traits know how to make everything work. We plan, manage, fix, and anticipate. We keep the peace and carry the weight for everyone around us. From the outside, it looks like strength and success. Inside, it's emotional exhaustion and the quiet panic of never feeling safe enough to rest.
Control becomes our safety.
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It hides behind kindness, competence, and responsibility, but underneath it all is fear. The fear that if we stop managing, if we stop fixing, if we stop holding everyone else together, everything will fall apart. Control promises safety but keeps us stuck in survival.
Women with super traits learn young that love must be earned through performance. We learn that calm means safe, that managing other people's emotions keeps the peace, and that being responsible keeps us chosen. Those same traits that brought us success are now the ones keeping us disconnected from our bodies, our pleasure, and the intimacy we crave.
When control becomes love, we lose ourselves. We confuse vigilance for care and performance for connection. We build beautiful lives that feel empty because control cannot give us safety; it only gives us distance.
It's time to rebuild safety from within. To rest, to feel, and to let go without losing power. Inside the Super Trait Society, we learn how to regulate the nervous system, balance power in relationships, and create the kind of connection that doesn't demand performance.
Control was never safety.
It was survival. And you deserve more than survival.
Take the FREE Super Trait Quiz HERE to see how responsibility shows up in your relationships or apply for private coaching to start rebuilding your sense of safety, power, and desire.
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