The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins

You are not frigid. You are fried. When you have super traits, empathy, loyalty, responsibility, and hard work, you end up building your entire relationship around him. You carry the emotional load, the logistical load, and even the erotic load. You hold his stress, his moods, his comfort above your own, and then blame yourself when your desire shuts down. You are not an impossible-to-please crusty wife. You are playing a game you were never taught the rules to. You were handed invisible contracts you never agreed to, and you have been trying to fix problems that were never yours to fix. Your body has known the truth long before you had the language for it. Women with super traits have been trained not to see the real dynamics happening in their relationships. We play checkers while our partners play chess. We sense disconnection and ask what is wrong with me instead of asking, "Am I safe?", "Am I being met?", "Am I being touched the way I like?" Four hidden behaviors quietly erode intimacy for women with super traits. Emotional unavailability, where he offers logic instead of empathy, and your body learns it is not safe to feel. Weaponized incompetence where he forgets the groceries, the kids, and the plans, and you end up doing everything. A male-centered relationship where everything revolves around his stress and comfort, while you shrink your needs smaller and smaller. Emotional withholding and punishment where any request for connection is met with defensiveness, silence, or blame. Your desire did not disappear. Your body shut down because it had to protect you. You do not need to work harder at love. You need a new relational blueprint rooted in pleasure power and nervous system safety so you can stop blaming yourself and finally understand the rules you were never taught. If you are a woman with super traits and you feel unseen, unheard, and untouched, your body is telling the truth. It is time to stop blaming yourself and start understanding the game you were pushed into without the rules. Start by taking the Super Trait Quiz so you can see the patterns that have shaped every relationship you have ever been in. If you know you are ready to shift these dynamics rather than survive them, explore the Super Trait Society, where we train your body to lead with safety, clarity, and real power rather than exhaustion and self-blame.

I am recording this sitting on an ice pack with stitches in my vagina. After the delivery of my daughter, there was a tear. They tried to fix it. It didn't really fix. The doctor said to wait until the next baby, and we can repair it then. I thought that made sense. My daughter just turned five. I have been tolerating a tear in my labia that I didn't want to be there. I decided I was done waiting. I was done tolerating. Hard work is the trait that builds success and destroys intimacy. We were taught that hard work will fix everything. The relationship. The libido. The career. But when hard work becomes your identity, intimacy starts to feel like effort. Relationships feel like effort, not ease. Women with super traits carry a relentless sense of responsibility and a high tolerance for discomfort. We push through pain, confusion, and rejection. We take pride in holding everything together. We repair for two. We perform for safety. We perform in the bedroom and call that love. Effort does not equal arousal. Desire needs safety, reciprocity, novelty, and space. Desire cannot live in a nervous system that never rests. Hard work becomes survival. It keeps us in one-sided relationships. It keeps us trying to fix what is not ours to fix. Healthy relationships require effort but not suffering. The work should feel mutual. Both people should be active participants in growth. When you stop working for love and start working from love, everything changes. -Apply for the Super Traits Society- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to take back your power and create a pleasure-filled life without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE] Take the FREE Super Trait Quiz HERE to see how responsibility shows up in your relationships or apply for private coaching to start rebuilding your sense of safety, power, and desire. Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

High-empathy women are praised for their compassion, yet beneath that care often lies exhaustion and loneliness. When empathy becomes survival, it stops being connection and starts being control. Many women who feel deeply spend their lives reading the room, anticipating every tone, and managing everyone else's emotions in the name of love. It looks selfless but becomes self-abandonment. The nervous system learns that predicting moods brings safety, and harmony comes from disappearing, leaving you burnt out and confused about why love feels like labor. Empathy born from hypervigilance attracts emotionally unavailable partners and unequal relationships. High-empathy women often mistake caretaking for connection and people pleasing for intimacy. They give endlessly, believing that calm and control will earn love. Yet empathy without boundaries drains energy and ties worth to giving. Healing begins when you stop performing empathy and start embodying power. Boundaries invite intimacy. Detachment allows you to hold your emotions without absorbing others. When high-empathy women reconnect with their bodies, they stop rescuing and start relating. They move from caretaking to commanding, restoring vitality, connection, and reciprocity. The world needs women who feel deeply without losing themselves. When empathy is grounded in boundaries, it becomes magnetic again, an energy that attracts safety, honesty, and real intimacy. -Apply for the Super Traits Society- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to take back your power and create a pleasure-filled life without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE] Take the FREE Super Trait Quiz HERE to see how responsibility shows up in your relationships or apply for private coaching to start rebuilding your sense of safety, power, and desire. Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

High-achieving women with super traits know how to make everything work. We plan, manage, fix, and anticipate. We keep the peace and carry the weight for everyone around us. From the outside, it looks like strength and success. Inside, it's emotional exhaustion and the quiet panic of never feeling safe enough to rest. Control becomes our safety. -Apply for the Super Traits Society- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to take back your power and create a pleasure-filled life without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE] It hides behind kindness, competence, and responsibility, but underneath it all is fear. The fear that if we stop managing, if we stop fixing, if we stop holding everyone else together, everything will fall apart. Control promises safety but keeps us stuck in survival. Women with super traits learn young that love must be earned through performance. We learn that calm means safe, that managing other people's emotions keeps the peace, and that being responsible keeps us chosen. Those same traits that brought us success are now the ones keeping us disconnected from our bodies, our pleasure, and the intimacy we crave. When control becomes love, we lose ourselves. We confuse vigilance for care and performance for connection. We build beautiful lives that feel empty because control cannot give us safety; it only gives us distance. It's time to rebuild safety from within. To rest, to feel, and to let go without losing power. Inside the Super Trait Society, we learn how to regulate the nervous system, balance power in relationships, and create the kind of connection that doesn't demand performance. Control was never safety. It was survival. And you deserve more than survival. Take the FREE Super Trait Quiz HERE to see how responsibility shows up in your relationships or apply for private coaching to start rebuilding your sense of safety, power, and desire. Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

Apply for the Super Traits Society- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to take back your power and create a pleasure-filled life without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE] Women come into my office every week saying they can't think clearly, they lose words mid-sentence, and they feel like their brains are failing them. They're sure it must be hormones, thyroid, or perimenopause. Some are afraid it's early dementia. But what if that brain fog isn't just a sign that something is wrong on the cellular level? What if your body is protecting you? High-achieving women with super traits: empathy, responsibility, tolerance, and hard work, often live in a constant loop of over-explaining, clarifying, and managing everyone else's emotions. That pattern, especially in relationships built on emotional abuse or coercive control, breaks down our nervous system. The confusion and brain fog you feel aren't signs that you're broken. There's evidence that your body has been trying to keep you safe. I've seen it again and again. Women think they're dealing with hormone imbalance, perimenopause, or chronic stress, but what's really happening is trauma adaptation. When you've been conditioned to maintain peace, stay quiet, or carry the invisible load, your body learns that clarity equals conflict. The fog is protection. The confusion is your nervous system saying enough. When we stop participating in coercive control dynamics, clarity returns. The fog lifts. Desire, focus, and energy come back online. This isn't a flaw in your body; it's your body's intelligence trying to save you. If you've been feeling lost, numb, or disconnected from your power, start by naming what's happening. Brain fog isn't failure. It's evidence of endurance. Take the FREE Super Trait Quiz HERE to see how responsibility shows up in your relationships or apply for private coaching to start rebuilding your sense of safety, power, and desire. Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

You were praised for being the responsible one. The girl who kept the peace, remembered everyone's birthday, got straight A's, and picked up everyone else's slack. That praise felt like love, but it wasn't love for who you are; it was love for what you did. Now you're the woman holding everything together. You make the meals while your partner plays with the kids. You manage the emotions in the household, plan the therapy sessions, hold the structure, and wonder why you feel exhausted, disconnected, and resentful. Responsibility as a super trait makes you indispensable but not irresistible. It keeps you safe but blocks intimacy, polarity, and pleasure. You can't control or plan your way into desire. What once protected you is now preventing you from being met. Let's unpack how responsibility becomes emotional labor, how it starts in childhood, and how it shows up in adult relationships as overgiving, people-pleasing, and exhaustion. You'll learn why your nervous system doesn't feel safe resting, why responsibility feels automatic, and how to stop confusing usefulness with love. If you've been the woman who holds it all together but feels unseen, unloved, or unfulfilled, this is your reminder that what kept you safe is not what will make you happy. Take the FREE Super Trait Quiz HERE to see how responsibility shows up in your relationships or apply for private coaching to start rebuilding your sense of safety, power, and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE] Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins]

Most women try to fix their relationships or fix themselves. My work isn't about fixing or forcing intimacy. It's about rewiring what led you to believe that depletion was love in the first place. High-achieving women with super traits have been called codependent, people pleasers, and overfunctioners, when the truth is, we were never met. We are not meant to see extractive love, and the smartest, most successful women I know are often in the most imbalanced dynamics because we superwoman so hard. Therapy hasn't helped because the issue isn't communication or attachment style. It's the extraction economy of love. Marriage benefits him more than it benefits you. Your exhaustion, burnout, resentment, and loss of desire are not personal flaws. They are symptoms of systems that reward your strengths and exploit them at the same time. Discover how to identify your super traits, recognize the invisible dynamics that have been draining you, and begin rewiring your nervous system so that love, intimacy, and desire become nourishing again. Take the Super Trait Quiz to discover which of your amplified strengths, such as empathy, loyalty, responsibility, tolerance, or hard work, has been running the show and how to reclaim your power from it. Take the Super Trait Quiz HERE You can also apply for my Creating Pleasure-Centred Relationships for Women with Super Traits 8 Week Intensive - Stop Fixing the Wrong Problem and Finally Create the Relationships (and Orgasms) You've Been Craving. Join us by CLICKING HERE. Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 15ST, 2025 Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE]

Something so simple but so hard for high-achieving women to accept is that we were taught male-centered love, male-centered relating, and male-centered sex. The truth that I denied for months after reading the original research is that marriage benefits him more than it benefits you. He lives longer, he is healthier, he receives emotional stability, caretaking, and the invisible workload, while your life expectancy is shortened, and you slowly find yourself erased in the roles of mother and wife. This is called the marriage benefit imbalance. Our super traits of empathy, loyalty, and responsibility make us successful, but in love, they keep us stuck. They keep us loyal when we should have left, forgiving when nothing changes, and working harder when we should be doing less. Over time, this imbalance leaves us exhausted, disconnected, and blaming ourselves. It is not your hormones, it is not that you are asking too much, it is not that you just cannot be happy. We have been surviving in a system that was never designed to fuel us. Our brilliance is undeniable, but without a new framework, our relationships will continue to drain us rather than nourish us. This is why I created the pleasure-centered method. It is a reeducation in sex, love, feeling, and living. It rewires us from survival and overgiving into intimacy and erotic connection. If you are ready to reclaim your clarity, your power, and your ability to be fully met. Join me for the eight-week live group coaching intensive and learn to put pleasure back into all areas of your life. Take the Super Trait Quiz HERE You can also apply for my Creating Pleasure-Centred Relationships for Women with Super Traits 8 Week Intensive - Stop Fixing the Wrong Problem and Finally Create the Relationships (and Orgasms) You've Been Craving. Join us by CLICKING HERE. Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 15ST, 2025 Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE]

I have been hearing from so many women lately. They are separating, considering separation, rebuilding after infidelity, or trying to date again as superwomen with super traits. No matter where they are, they cannot keep going the same way they have been. There is an element of doneness. Super traits like empathy, loyalty, hard work, and forgiveness are the qualities that make us successful. They are also survival skills. Without this lens, we can spend years and thousands of dollars repeating the same loops. With it, the truth becomes clear. Loyalty is one of the most common super traits. It makes you dependable and trustworthy, the woman who stays through thick and thin. But when loyalty is not reciprocated, it becomes a leash. It keeps you tied to relationships that are already costing you your peace, your health, and your intimacy. Loyalty without reciprocity is not love. It is self-abandonment. You do not need another hormone panel or more therapy sessions. You need a relational map that shows what is really happening. Take the Super Trait Quiz HERE and join me live for the Super Trait Masterclass on October 2 at 1 pm Eastern or grab the REPLAY. You can also apply for my Creating Pleasure-Centred Relationships for Women with Super Traits 8 Week Intensive - Stop Fixing the Wrong Problem and Finally Create the Relationships (and Orgasms) You've Been Craving. Join us by CLICKING HERE. Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 15ST, 2025 LISTEN TO EPISODE #194 SUPERTRAITS HERE Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE]

Women with super traits are praised for their loyalty, empathy, and hard work. These traits make you successful in your career, but they leave you exhausted, resentful, and sexless in your relationships. You give more, you bend over backwards, and you still do not feel met. I am sharing the habits of the most well-loved and well fucked women I know. These women feel their emotions instead of pushing them down. They are their own best lovers. They understand how their super traits show up in intimacy. They choose pleasure over extraction. And they surround themselves with community, so they never carry everything alone. When you embody these habits, you stop performing sex and start receiving pleasure. You stop tolerating crumbs and start feeling connected, magnetic, and desired. Take the free Super Trait Quiz to see which trait is keeping you stuck. Register for the FREE LIVE Super Trait Masterclass on October 2nd at 1 PM Eastern to understand why successful women struggle in sex and love and how to become well-loved and well fucked. You can also apply for my Creating Pleasure-Centred Relationships for Women with Super Traits 8 Week Intensive - Stop Fixing the Wrong Problem and Finally Create the Relationships (and Orgasms) You've Been Craving. Join us by CLICKING HERE. Let's start rebuilding Safety, Desire & Intimacy. BEGINS OCTOBER 15ST, 2025 Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Take the Pleasure Path Assessment HERE to uncover your shutdown style, the super traits blocking your intimacy, and your next steps for reconnecting with your body and desire. PRIVATE COACHING- Success, intimacy, pleasure, you don't have to choose. Learn how to create a deeper connection and better sex without sacrificing who you are or what you've built. [APPLY HERE] JOIN US FOR THE FREE Super Trait Masterclass, October 2nd at 1pm ET/10am PT. The Truth About Why Successful Women Struggle In Intimacy HERE