Open relationships. Now, you can clutch them pearls and raise those eyebrows all you want to, but this conversation is not going away - especially not in America.  Using two separate samples based on the U.S. Census, researchers found that one-fifth of the population in the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives and if the trend continues, the only place this number is going is up. So… are open relationships the bandaid, the cure or the curse of our generation? And furthermore, how do you actually start one? Like for real? Let’s talk about it on this episode of Lovers and Friends. We have a loaded conversation between our starring guests on this episode, Swaggy C and Bayleigh. A married couple with a new baby, but an old, inactive desire to explore consensual non-monogamy within their marriage. There are a lot of themes to pull from this interview like: what happens when non-monogamy is one person’s yum and the other’s yea I guess if that will make you happy… OR the dangers of using non-monogamy as a punishment for unfulfillment… OR the joys/ struggles of having a partner who is supportive of your desires, but not all the way cooperative. However what stood out to me in this episode is how to go from being curious to actually being actively open...for real. FOLLOW THE GUESTS ON THIS EPISODE Follow Bayleigh: https://www.instagram.com/bayydayy https://www.youtube.com/c/SwayleighGang https://www.tiktok.com/@bayydayyy Follow Chris “Swaggy C”: https://www.instagram.com/swaggyctv https://www.youtube.com/@KingSwaggy Follow Dr. Monica:  https://www.therapyforqpoc.com therapyforqpoc@gmail.com THANKS TO THE SPONSOR OF THIS EPISODE BET Watch Zatima starring Crystal Renee Hayslett and Devale Ellis by joining the millions who stream Black culture at http://www.bet.plus Better Help Discover your potential with BetterHelp.  http://www.betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month.  Hello Fresh Try America’s #1 Meal Kit for yourself. Get 60% off plus free shipping.  Http://www.hellofresh.com/lovers60 Dipsea Explore your fantasies or get inspired with a 30 day free trial now.  http://www.dipsea.com/lovers Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Open relationship reading list From Dr. Monica:  IG Educational Pages  ·      Evita Sawyers | @lavitaloca34 ·      Chanee Jackson Kendall | @chaneespeaks ·      Jhen | @monogamishpod ·      Kevin Patterson | @polyrolemodels ·      @polyamouraousblackgirl ·      Leanne Yau | @polyphiliablog   Books  ·      Pre-Order | A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Non-monogamous | Evita Sawyers ·      Love is Not Colorblind | Kevin Patterson ·      Polysecure | Jessica Fern ·      The Ethical Slut | Hardy & Easton  ·      More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory | Ricket & Veaux ·      Polyamory & Jealousy | Ricket & Veaux

Becky G is an award-winning, chart topping, international superstar who has always been grateful for her life, but at one point, hated herself and the experience of being alive. In order to get out of that dark place and to get the clarity she needed to heal she knew she needed a superhero, but what she didn’t know is “that hero” would ultimately need to be herself. In this episode Becky G candidly shares how learning to love herself, advocate for her needs and set boundaries has opened up a world of abundance, power, and arguably most importantly, self compassion.  Follow Becky G https://www.instagram.com/iambeckyg/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iambeckyg https://www.youtube.com/@beckyg You can still watch old episodes of Becky’s Facebook Watch Show: Face to Face with Becky G  https://www.facebook.com/watch/iambeckyg/1684197931784162/ AND OF COURSE WATCH THESE INTERNETS FOR BECKY’S COACHELLA PERFORMANCES THIS APRIL! And if you came here looking for quick links to the incredible sponsors of this episode, we got you!  EveryPlate  http://www.everyplate.com/podcast  Use Code: Lovers149 Lomi:  http://www.lomi.com/lovers Use Code: Lovers BET Watch Zatima starring Crystal Renee Hayslett and Devale Ellis by joining the millions who stream Black culture at http://www.bet.plus Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends? According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021,  a lot of people are not  satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have. If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.  So how long does it take to make a new friend? -50 hours of time before you consider them a casual friend  - 90 hours before becoming real friends  - 200hours- before becoming close friends  - source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'  As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments. In this episode I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs and the work it takes to make them work.  A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMFT and Danielle Byard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert for lending their expertise on forming friendships.  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.  ZocDoc:  https://www.zocdoc.com/ Ritual https://ritual.com/lovers for 10% off your first 3 months  Follow the guests on this episode: Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Krista:  https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/ https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/ https://www.instagram.com/morningmicrodose/ https://www.instagram.com/moderntarot/ Follow Tabia: https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/ Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/ https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/ Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/

In this episode, I am answering 10 questions submitted by YOU, allll about sex!  I am looking forward to making more Q+A episodes, so feel free to submit your questions around sex, love and dating.  Huge thank you to the sponsors of this episode Ritual  Use code Lovers for 10% your order for 3 months.  Http://ritual.com/lovers Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Jared:  Http://instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady

Lauren Jauregui talks about breaking things off with Ty Dolla Sign, writing Always Love, holistically healing and then finding real love again with another woman. Lauren Jauregui rose to prominence as a member of the girl group Fifth Harmony, which became one of the best- selling girl groups of all time. Since then, she has gone on to release her solo projects “Expectations” and “Prelude.” Lauren has also collaborated with Steve Aoiki, Halsey, Tainy (Tiny), and Ty-Dolla Sign whom she publicly dated for about 2 years.  Her hit, Always Love, pays homage to the end of her relationship with Ty and in this episode we get under the covers of that song to discuss the reason for the split, the lessons from that love lost and the discoveries she's made about who she is and what she needs since. Follow @Laurenjauregui on all social media platforms If you are an international listener, catch her on tour starting in March https://www.laurenjauregui.com/ Listen to “Always Love” the single and her project “Prelude” which are out now Thank you to the sponsors of this episode MAGIC SPOON Go to http://magicspoon.com/lovers to grab a variety pack and try it today! And be sure to use our promo code LOVERS at checkout to save five dollars off your order! DIPSEA For listeners of Lovers and Friends, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to http://DipseaStories.com/lovers BETTER HELP Visit http://BetterHelp.com/lovers to get 10% off your first month BUMBLE Download Bumble in your App Store and put yourself first when you look for love. Also, learn how Bumble can help make your search simpler and more satisfying at http://Bumble.com by clicking on "The Buzz" Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram https://www.tiktok.com/@shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Lauren:  https://www.instagram.com/laurenjauregui/

In this episode, I talk about the 10 soulmates we may encounter over the span of our lives. Thanks for being patient with me this week on this episode. Promise to do better! Here are the 10 types of soulmates. The Stranger Soul Mate - unrequited love is still love. We needed them, we loved them, we were certain we were destined to marry them and they barely remember our last name. The black hole Soul Mate -  the person that we lost ourselves and our sensibilities to (usually our first requited soul mate experience) The Almost doesn’t count Soul Mate - the person who checked all the boxes but couldn’t light your fire (or vice versa) The Only If They… Soul Mate The Stay with you Forever but Stay Away From Me Forever Soul Mate - the person you’ll never truly be over even though it’s definitely over The one that got away - the good guy/ girl who you blew it with and now they’re happy with someone else The Rip Tide Soulmate - the relationship that preys on your needs, insecurities, weakness’ and fears. The prototype Soulmate - the person you are so sure is your one but upon further inspection you realize is just a beautiful imposter who taught you what you really needed to know about what you need out of love The Muse Soulmate - the person who’s meant to teach you about love/ connection, but not give it to you (usually a crush you never get a shot with) The Love of my Life soulmate- the relationship that allows you to be your best self and love at a higher frequency. A love marked by self insight, happiness, individual growth and true mutuality. Thanks to the sponsors of this episode! Babbel! Http://www.babbel.com/lovers Bumble: Download the Bumble app today for free! Hello Fresh! Http://www.hellofresh.com/lovers Follow Shan: http://instagram.com/shanboody http://tiktok.com/shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com

Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex? How do you navigate re-orienting or re-navigating your sexual orientation after a queer experience?  That is exactly what we are breaking down in this episode. Our starring guest is singer, songwriter Kiana Lede.  Kiana is an Arizona born actress, singer and songwriter who burst into the scene with her Youtube series dubbed “Soulfood Sessions”. Her cover of Hotline bling went viral in 2016.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77MenaZJrNw Since then Kiana has released 2 Studio EPs, over a dozen singles, and a 17 track debut album which debuted at #30 on the Billboard 200 in 2020. Her music has featured artists like Offset, Ari Lennox and BLACK.  Her music has a way of laying out sexual exploration and liberation,  Her latest project, a mixtape titled “unfinished” pays tribute to her late friend Azuma. Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.  http://www.Bumble.com or Download the Bumble App Http://www.BetterHelp.com/Lovers Http://www.zocdoc.com Follow Shan:  http://instagram.com/shanboody http://tiktok.com/shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Kiana:  https://www.youtube.com/@KianaLede https://www.instagram.com/kianalede/?hl=en

Celibacy, abstinence, sex strike, sexlessness, dry spell ….call it what you may but we can all agree is challenging.  This week we are joined by Stephan Speaks- one of the most popular voices in the relationship education space. Stephan has devoted himself to a life of celibacy on more than one occasion: first run with the intention to connect with God, second to connect with his God-given purpose and now he finds himself conflicted between looking for the clarity that celibacy seemed to give him before and longing for the intimacy he desires as a healthy, single, eligible bachelor.  Thanks to the sponsors of this episode. Dipsea! Whether you want to energize your sex life for yourself, a lover or so you can channel that energy elsewhere, try tuning into Dipsea because listeners of Lovers and Friends, get a 30 day free trial! Go to http://DipseaStories.com/LOVERS Links to episode clips that were featured in this episode. Glo Atanmo: https://youtu.be/lbIaM09t0ZU Tanarelle: https://youtu.be/FcKrnF2OpS4 Rachel Lindsay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnEORZJD2pQ&t=354s Sex Strike: http://youtu.be/71ZgcVtMq84 Follow Shan:  http://instagram.com/shanboody http://tiktok.com/shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Stephan Speaks: http://instagram.com/stephanspeaks https://www.stephanspeaks.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPBO9gLGy8ujsJ7xjARI7ow

On your journey to find and keep love (if this is your wish) have you ever felt like maybe you are meant to stay single forever? That is how this week’s guest, Glo Atanmo aka Glo Graphics on IG felt throughout most of her life. She was used to not being any man's first choice only to later date 12 quality men at once. Then in 2022, she embarked on her pursuit of finding her forever love.  She is now openly sharing her love story with her millions of followers online.  In this episode, she breaks down what the journey looked like and how she pursued an intentional dating season that led her to her lover. Research article by Lachlan Brown for HackSpirit called “I can’t find love”. - 20 things to remember if you feel this is you”.  You’re not really looking You’re list of wants in a partner is too long You’re in the wrong place You believe too much in soul mates and destiny You’re still not over your ex (intimate idealization) You don’t know what people want from you/ you don’t want to give it You have unresolved childhood issues You feel like you unconditionally deserve love You try way too hard You’re not being your true self You don’t know how to play the game You take dating for granted (entitlement issues) You sabotage relationships Thanks to the sponsors of this episode.  ZocDOC:  Go to https://zocdoc.com/lovers and download the  Zocdoc app for FREE.  Babbel:  Get up to 55% off your subscription by going to https://babbel.com/LOVERS Magic Spoon:  Get 5$ off your order by going to https://magicspoon.com/LOVERS Follow Shan:  http://instagram.com/shanboody http://tiktok.com/shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Glo:  http://instagram.com/glographics

Are drinking games for lovers or losers? Does alcohol make sex better and wetter or dryer and dimmer?  A study by Kathryn Lakeland of Femfresh found that 75 per cent of women said they liked to drink before getting into bed with their husband or boyfriend. In this episode we ask those in the 75 per cent to examine if this is a powerful or limiting decision. Many share that alcohol makes them feel confident, flirty and powerful, but also less aware, less excited and more prone to regrettable decisions.  My guest on this episode, ‘Drinking Games’ Author,  Sarah Levy once described being drunk on dates as a mandatory activity that made her feel like she had warm honey in her veins. Now, she is 5 years sober and ready to tell the world why.  In this episode, I am also joined by licensed therapist Erica Lubetkin who specializes in anxiety and addiction. Erica breaks down how alcohol can momentarily spike dopamine in your system, but the lasting effects are not so good.  This podcast is intended to spark hard-to-have conversations in your romantic and sexual life that lead to powerful shifts. I genuinely believe this episode delivers on that promise because we are talking about some powerful shit - alcohol.  Thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Better Help!  Visit http://Betterhelp.com/lovers for 10% off your first month.  http://Betterhelp.com/LOVERS Follow Shan:  http://instagram.com/shanboody http://tiktok.com/shanboody https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSE2Lr9RfYXiFtiX1jk5qng loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com Follow Sarah:  https://www.instagram.com/sarahllevy https://www.tiktok.com/@sarahllevy https://www.sarahllevy.com/ Follow Erica:  https://ericalubetkin.com/ https://www.instagram.com/erica.lubetkin