Narcissism Recovery Podcast

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Narcissistic Fathers are entitled and use their family to make them look good. They will cause damage to the children by never allowing them into the spotlight making it all about them. They will bully family members into compliance with a fear and intimidating attitude that makes noncompliance an affront to their authority. Narcissistic fathers cause their family members to feel humiliated and therefore have a low sense of self confidence. It is important to address the wounds experienced and heal. This will take rigorous confrontation with the idealized and perfect light that dad manipulated you to see him in.

Narcissistic Mothers lack empathy and use others as do other narcissistic abusers but what differentiates them is their disguise as being a super mom and having it all together when in reality they are disrespectful, abusive, and hurtful to those close to them behind closed doors. Narcissistic mothers force their family to serve their needs and will rage at and devalue those who dare not comply. They will act fun and caring in public but behind closed doors will devalue and humiliate those same very people. If you experienced having a narcissistic mother it is imperative to see them for who they are and not the idealized version of them that we cane to believe and were forced to see her as. In addition, it may be necessary to get distance and even cut ties in order to heal and become your own individual.

BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder, is characterized by a pervasive fear of abandonment and extreme emotional dysregulation. Those suffering from this disorder may act clingy and loving in one moment and then rage out in the next moment at any slight of perceived fear of abandoned by friends, partners, and family members. The inability to feel safe and calm the extreme efflux of emotions makes being in a relationship with a BPD can be exhausting and potentially lethal. Those suffering from BPD will need to face their inner abandonment issues and work through the wounds of childhood. They will need to heal their pain and emotional chaos without using others to keep them safe. When this is done it can allow for true connection with self and others in a way that is fulfilling and not abusive and controlling.

Narcissistic family units are completely controlled by a narcissistic abuser who has manipulated, bullied, and coerced everyone to serve them. These families, while looking good on the outside, are extremely lacking in love, empathy, and boundaries. The unit is designed to serve the parent and each member is given a role based on how the narcissistic abuser sees their value. These roles include the scapegoat child, golden child, hero child, and mascot child. The roles may be switched at any moment creating a sense of chaos and fear where everyone is looking to play their role with perfection not daring to disappoint or anger the narcissistic abuser.

Narcissists are wounded individuals who experienced having a rejecting, neglecting, smothering, controlling, or dismissive parent. In an attempt to feel adequate after feeling worthless from negative treatment, the child will work tirelessly to be good enough in their parents eyes. Narcissists are often formed by parents who idealize their children will set up an expectation that is is unrealistic and thus crushes the child’s confidence. These experiences shape the child’s and then eventual adults ideas of love which becomes conditional and always out of reach. The child will then feel that accomplishments and approval from others is the way to gain love. The child will become competitive, perfectionistic, and narcissistic as they look to fill their inner void and worthlessness with feelings of being good enough. They will exploit others as a way of masking the feelings of worthlessness and building the fragile and broken self from childhood.

Narcissistic abusers live in a prison of their own mind and look to pull victims into this prison to serve and become a supply of love, adoration, money etc. known as a narcissist supply. Victims of narcissistic abuse are unaware of this dynamics and if they do not catch on soon enough will become stuck in the prison of the narcissist ultimately losing themselves in pursuit of trying to please their narcissistic abuser. In order to free oneself from the prison of the narcissist, victims must face the truth of their past and come out of the denial and brainwashing they have lived in. Everything done and said to them must be challenged. Healing from being in such a prison will entail facing the wounds and relationship patterns from as early as childhood which led victims to believe in the normalcy of the narcissistic abusers treatment.

The discussion delves into how the amygdala, a key player in emotional processing, is affected by trauma, especially in victims of narcissistic abuse. Listeners learn about the overactive nature of the amygdala in response to distressing experiences, leading to heightened emotional reactivity. The hosts highlight the importance of addressing painful emotions and reprogramming thought patterns to achieve healing. This journey encourages moving from emotional overwhelm to clarity, emphasizing the critical balance between the emotional brain and logical thinking.

Childhood abuse of any sort creates a fracture in the self. With extreme abuse as with narcissistic abuse, the child will be unable to build a sense of self resulting in the need to build a false self to avoid the true, battered, shamed, and even annihilated self. Lack of empathy, attunement and consistency by abusive, addicted, or narcissistic parents distrusts the foundation of the child and the ego is bruised and broken. Children and eventual adults will be unable to have healthy connections with others as this entails having a sense of self which is sorely lacking in narcissistic abusers. In order to heal, the broken self needs to be built up much like a child would with healthy attuned parents. This is very possible but must be done with an individual who can mirror and help the injured person rebuild from within and undo the developmental emotional impairment.

Narcissistic Abusers use Idealizing, Devaluing & Discarding as a way of controlling victims. The initial love bombing stage is done to make the victim feel exceptional and as if they have found the perfect partner. The narcissistic abuser will then engage in the process of Devaluation which includes put downs, humiliation, gaslighting and withholding of love. The Discard phase is when the narcissistic abuse throws out the victim and sees the partner as needy, demanding and no longer a valid source of narcissistic supply. It is important for victims to see the relationship for what it was, a con job and an emotional manipulation. Victims will need to work through the many layers of intense emotions that came with the chorus of having emotions toyed with and used against the victim.