Narcissism Recovery Podcast

The injury to the self, caused by critical, abusive, judgmental or narcissistic parents is called a narcissistic wound. When a child is wounded they will often opt for the false self and pseudo personality, they will be left with a wound that and look to defend against having re-injured. In adulthood, this wounded individual's wounds will get tripped up and activated when in similar situations that are reminiscent of the original wounding experiences. When this is the case, the wounded individual will fly into a rage and look to punish, humiliate, shame, and injure those who dare cause this offense. Victims will describe walking on eggshells around their abuser in order to avoid this wound. In order to protect oneself from taking on the narcissist's wounds and projections, it is vital to not react and understand that the rage and shame that the narcissist feels has nothing to do with you. In addition, it is vital to healing any personal wounds that are keeping you in relationships that are exploitive and narcissistic.

Narcissistic abusers, contrary to what appears, have a deep self hate. When a person has a narcissistic injury, an injury to the self in early childhood, they will feel humiliated, weak, shamed, and often times, as a result, will become hateful. This the will manifest its way towards others in narcissistic abuse but in reality it is offloading the very deep sense of hate within. Victims of this form of abuse, in an attempt to please the abuser, will become dumpsters for the extremely negative feelings thinking “if I just take on all their crap things will be ok”. The truth is, no self respecting person would narcissistically abuse others in any way. Only a self hating and self loathing person would do things that can emotionally destroy others.

Trauma occurs because of a person being in an unexpected place where they are unprepared and helpless against the threat. An individual under threat will enter into the fight, fright, or freeze response and the emotions of the trauma victim will be stuffed down into the subconscious. If these emotions are not eventually felt and processed, the individual will be at risk of having poisonous emotions such as anger, shame, and sadness festering in the subconscious which erode the individuals physical and emotional health. When a person gets in touch with their subconscious they will be met with extreme pain as these feelings are often times scary and chaotic. This, however, is vital in order to get in touch with the pain and heal. A person will need to work through the meaning of the experience which were often times inaccurate and created to keep the individual safe and away from the truth.

The Silent Treatment is a passive aggressive control tactic used by narcissistic abusers to emotionally bully victims into submission. This control tactic is often easily deniable and made to seem like the perpetrator wants space but in reality, there is a purpose to the silence. Is it enacted to make victims feel they are wrong and looking within to figure out what they did wrong to deserve to be treated this way. Victims of the silent treatment are looking to find where they stand in the relationship and due to the lack of communication are left begging to get their way back in. This plays into the abuse tactic as the abuser is enjoying being chased and uses this as a form of narcissistic supply. Victims of the abuse tactic will feel invisible and that they are in constant no-mans-land. There will be an overwhelming sadness and loneliness which cannot be pinpointed to the cause. If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser who is using the silent treatment do what you can to remove yourself. In addition, it is vital to trust your gut and never let the silence be an indication of personal value. In addition, it is vital to find others who can be a witness to validate the abuse as well as a life coach or therapist who can help heal.

Victims of Narcissistic Abuse will learn to detach from their environment due to the inability to deal with painful stimuli by dissociating. Like the word implies, dissociation is when victims dissociate from their immediate surroundings and escape inward. They often look like they are spacing out and in reality, they are escaping into a fantasy wonderland where the threat is no longer. In order to work through this defense, victims must learn to stay present and work through the wounds and extreme pain so they can stay present without running away. This entails rigorous confrontation with personal history and wounding experiences as well as the truth about the very reality of what occurred. Please like and share if you found this video beneficial. Don't forget to subscribe to our channel for updates on future postings. I am available for coaching if you are looking to heal from narcissistic abuse. I can be reached at yitz@psychologicalhealingcenter.com Yitz Epstein, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Life Coach

Narcissistic Triangulation is a control technique used by narcissists to keep victims in servitude and feeling shameful. The narcissist will bring in a third party into the relationship to add validity to their claims and create a sense of power where victims feel trapped to comply. Narcissists will use third party individuals, ideas, and doctrines in order to deliver deep hurtful messages without directly saying them. This allows for them to never be seen as the perpetrator yet keep them in servitude.

Narcissists are exceptional at showing victims the perfect and ideal parent, spouse, business partner, friend etc. this is done by using a technique called “Mirroring”. Mirroring is done by reflecting back to victims the perfect reactions and statements as well as engaging in similar interests when in reality the purpose of the interaction is to exploit and extract narcissistic supply.

I was joined by Mindset Coach Sam Chein to discuss some prevalent topics with regards to narcissism and narcissistic abuse. Have a listen as we dive into topics such as how a narcissist gets created, the signs of a narcissist and how to protect oneself from these predators.

Trauma causes the emotional brain, the amygdala, to take control of victims minds and decision making. A narcissistically injures person will be someone who is completely operating out of this overactive amygdala and will be in a perpetual reactive state. Have a listen as I discuss how childhood trauma creates extreme reactivity in adulthood.

Childhood wounds are extremely impactful on adult relationships. When childhood abuse occurs and wounds are inflicted, there will be an impact on the victims lens of perception as well as emotional regulation and ability to communicate. Listen as I discuss the effects of childhood wounds on adult life and relationships.