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The Best of You

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Jun 20, 2024 • 50min

Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma

Do you ever feel like you're wearing a mask, hiding how you really feel from others?Do you find yourself in conflict with different aspects of your personality, struggling to find harmony?In honor of the new Pixar movie, Inside Out 2, we're diving into Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy in a brand new series this week! Today's guest, Jenna Riemersma is an amazing human, an expert IFS clinician, and the bestselling author of 2 books on IFS. Here's what we cover: What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? The hidden cost of high-performance armor Are kids truly resilient or just coping? 3 signs of a good therapist Jenna's journey of writing her book on IFS Innovative Practices for ongoing healing Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Connect with Jenna at: https://jennariemersma.com/Get Jenna's free Insight Timer IFS meditationsRead Altogether You and Altogether UsIf you like this episode you'll love: Episode 39: Boundaries For Your Soul: How to Navigate Your Overwhelming Thoughts & Feelings Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions Episode 43: How to Tame Your Inner Critic & Why All Parts Are Welcome Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Become the best version of yourself and get 15% off Ned products with code BESTOFYOU. Go to helloned.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to receive UP TO 39%! Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Jun 13, 2024 • 47min

Episode 107: Name, Frame, & Brave Depression: Science-Backed Strategies to Treat Mild and Stubborn Depression & Recover Your Joy with Dr. Len Lantz

Dr. Len Lantz shares science-backed strategies for tackling depression, including identifying symptoms, debunking stigmas in faith-based communities, and interventions for mild to severe cases. He discusses the importance of accurate diagnosis, treatment options like antidepressants and psychotherapy, suicide prevention, and impactful practices to find balance and hope.
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Jun 6, 2024 • 45min

Episode 106: Transform Limiting Beliefs, Embrace Critical Thinking, & Navigate Holistic Health with Dr. Josh Axe

Dr. Josh Axe, NYT bestselling author, discusses critical thinking vs. limiting beliefs, his journey with his mom through cancer, critiquing pharmaceutical ads, balancing natural and medical interventions, and reverse-engineering life for a holistic approach to health.
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May 30, 2024 • 49min

Episode 105: 4 Lies We Tell, the Mental Health Benefits of Honesty, & How to Stop Lying In Your Relationships

Are you ever tempted to lie to spare someone’s feelings or avoid conflict?You're not alone. Research shows that most people tell at least one lie every day, even though honesty significantly benefits our relationships and mental health. In today’s episode, we explore the science and Biblical wisdom behind lying, and I'll share practical strategies to foster more honesty (spoiler alert: it involves setting boundaries!) in your relationships.Here's what we cover: How often do we lie? 4 mental health benefits of honesty 4 types of lies we tell The link between lying and boundaries 3 reasons why we lie The most important question to ask yourself about the lies you tell Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Related Episodes:Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave GossipEpisode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful ConnectionsEpisode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People)Episode 72: Overcoming Failure, Handling Adversity, and Telling Yourself the TruthThanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Go to https://hensonshaving.com/bestofyou and enter BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.)Sign up for AromaTru's Insider Club today and you'll receive a FREE Waterless Oil Diffuser and a FREE lemon eucalyptus oil - that's over $200 in savings. Head to aromatruorganics.com/bestofyou to take advantage of this exclusive offer.Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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May 23, 2024 • 60min

Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability—Strategies to Stop Feeling Alone and Build Meaningful Connections

Have you ever felt isolated because you can't open up to others?Do you worry that showing vulnerability might lead to more hurt?You are in for such a special treat today. This is such an honest, incredibly real conversation about the risks of vulnerability, the hurts that come from letting others in AND the incredible opportunities for intimacy, connection, and healing when we do.My dear friends, Kathy Tuan-MacLean and Tara Edelschick, authors of the new Bible study experience, "Moms at the Well," surveyed over seven hundred moms and discovered most women struggle with worry, anger, comparison, escapism, a desire for control, and heartbreak. Yet most women feel alone in these struggles. If you've ever felt lonely or skeptical about finding community with other women, this episode is for you. Here's what we cover:* The dissonance we feel about vulnerability (2:21)* How 1 marriage crisis launched a 20 year small group (11:28)* 2 essential ingredients to safeguard trust (16:00)* How they dealt with gossip (21:50)* Strategies for dealing with hurt feelings, ruptures & repair (24:38)* One shocking result from their survey (34:43)* The strategy Alison used to find a friend when lonely (43:35)* The one thing that kills group trust (48:43)For 20% off + free shipping for Moms at the Well, use code IVPPOD20 hereFind a full transcript and list of resources from this episode hereRelated Episodes:Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave GossipEpisode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In DysfunctionEpisode 66: The Truth About Anxiety & How to Become a Worry Free Parent with Sissy GoffEpisode 65: Vulnerability, Parenting, and Letting Go of Control—Inside A Guy’s Perspective With Our Friends From DadvilleThanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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May 16, 2024 • 46min

Episode 103: Name, Frame, and Brave Gossip

We don't want to gossip, but most of us do it. What if gossip actually plays a deeper role in our lives and relationships? So often in life we bump into "grey areas," areas that can stir up dissonance inside of us. We hold certain beliefs or values, yet we find ourselves acting in ways that are contrary to those values.In this series, we're exploring some of these areas that can bring up dissonance inside. Our focus today is gossip. I explore the problems with gossip, as well as some of the surprising research on how it can be constructive. By examining both the positive and negative aspects of gossip, you'll feel empowered to name, frame, and brave a healthier understanding of gossip in your life and relationships. Why gossip is a gray area (3:09) What the Bible says about gossip (6:42) What psychology research says about gossip (12:46) 6 motivations behind gossip (13:43) Constructive vs. destructive forms of gossip (21:40) How to Name, Frame, and Brave gossip in your own life (29:17) Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Related Episodes:Episode 102: I Shouldn’t Feel Conflicted About God—How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & GodEpisode 96: Signs of Emotional Immaturity & How to Bring Emotional Health Into Your RelationshipsEpisode 89: When A Relationship Has to Change—How to Tolerate Discomfort, Face an Attachment Void, & Resource YourselfThanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU.Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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May 9, 2024 • 46min

Episode 102: I Shouldn’t Feel Conflicted About God—How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & God

Do you ever feel distant from God?Do you struggle with conflicting emotions or unanswered questions that make it hard to feel God's presence in your life?Today's episode brings the 🔥🔥🔥. I'm passionate about naming the false guilt and counterfeit messages that keep us from a vibrant relationship with God.So often we try to shove complicated feelings aside or manipulate ourselves into feeling what we think we “should” feel in our faith. It doesn't work. The good news is that as with any relationship, when you name and frame what you're feeling honestly, you invest in a deeper, more authentic relationship with God. Here’s what we cover…1. The problem with spiritual bypassing (7:36)2. 6 counterfeit messages we internalize about God (19:34)3. 5 framing questions to help you transform those messages (24:23)4. Specific examples of braving steps you can take in your spiritual life (26:51)5. My personal experience with spiritual dissonance (31:44)Today's episode is based on an excerpt from Chapter 11 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way, available everywhere books are sold.Find a list of resources from this episode here.Bonus Episode: Aundi Kolber & Dr. Alison on Writing & Launching BooksThanks to our sponsors:Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today.Head over to WildHealth.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU at checkout for 20% off!Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU.Get 40% off your first order of Sundays. Go to SundaysForDogs.com/BESTOFYOU or use code BESTOFYOU at checkout.Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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May 7, 2024 • 48min

Bonus Episode: Aundi Kolber & Dr. Alison on Writing & Launching Books

Happy Book Launch day! Today I Shouldn't Feel This Way is out in the world AND it's the two-year anniversary of The Best of You Podcast . To celebrate, I asked my friend, fellow therapist, and author, Aundi Kolber, to join me for a special bonus episode! Join us as we share insights into why we started writing, what we keep private vs. what we share publicly, and how to navigate the publishing industry.Pick up your copy of I Shouldn't Feel This Way today!Get Aundi's Strong Like Water Guided Journey today!Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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May 2, 2024 • 59min

Episode 101: I Shouldn’t Feel Angry—Exploring the Violence that Shapes Our Family Stories & How to Heal with Lisa Jo Baker

How do you navigate anger in your family?What do you do when a parent who was supposed to love you and keep you safe actually caused you harm? Families evoke such complicated emotions. You might feel angry and then guilty about that anger. You might feel a mixture of love and resentment. Today, we tackle family anger and generational trauma. My guest, Lisa-Jo Baker was a teenager when her mother died, leaving her alone with her father and his fierce temper. When she found herself exhibiting that same temper with her own son, she knew it was time to dig deeper.Her new memoir, It Wasn't Roaring, It Was Weeping, is a beautifully written, incredibly powerful story of the legacy of anger, violence, and generational trauma—and how one family healed. You do not want to miss this conversation.Here’s what we cover:1. When a parent is both hero & villain (9:13)2. The moment Lisa-Jo realized her father’s anger had become hers (15:43)3. How she began to investigate her past (19:05)4. A powerful metaphor for the scars of our families (31:31)5. The risk of discussing your pain with your parents (35:07)6. Self-righteous anger vs. wise anger (36:30)7. What Lisa-Jo confronted about racism as a South African and an American (39:14)8. Biblical wisdom for healing (51:41)Order It Wasn't Roaring It Was Weeping hereFind a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Related Episodes:Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique KovenEpisode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are GrievingEpisode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher CookEpisode 100: I Shouldn’t Feel Betrayed By Someone I Trust—How to Grieve, Breathe, & Receive in the Wake of Broken Trust with Steve CarterThanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Whether you're exploring distant lands or enjoying a staycation at home, Cozy Earth has your back. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Apr 25, 2024 • 49min

Episode 100: I Shouldn’t Feel Betrayed By Someone I Trust—How to Grieve, Breathe, & Receive in the Wake of Broken Trust with Steve Carter

Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you thought you could trust?It's a deeply painful experience that can leave you questioning not only the betrayer but also your own judgment. Trust, once broken, seems almost impossible to rebuild. My guest today, Steve Carter, experienced a series of profound betrayals at a pivotal moment in his life. In 2018, amidst misconduct allegations against Bill Hybels, founder of Willow Creek Community Church, Steve made the difficult decision to step down from his role as a newly minted lead pastor—a position he once considered his dream job. Shortly thereafter, he faced yet another personal betrayal by his own parents.Reeling from the loss of his job, his dream, and his trust in those closest to him, Steve entered a desert season guided by three words he sensed God gave to him: Grieve. Breathe. Receive. Steve's journey through loss is so powerful, so honest, and so deeply healing. Please do not miss this conversation!Here’s what we cover: 2 essential ingredients for trust (12:40) Why grief is the antidote to cynicism (22:28) Confronting our attraction to patterns of narcissism (28:08) The anger high vs. the peace of forgiveness (36:25) How he hangs on to his love for the church (34:03) Purchase Grieve, Breathe, Receive by Steve Carter here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.Related Episodes:Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique KovenEpisode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & the #1 Most Important Support For Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. ParkEpisode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher CookThanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠www.organifi.com/bestofyou⁠ today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Head to factormeals.com/bestofyou50 and use code bestofyou50 to get 50% off! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to thrivemarket.com/bestofyou for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Make the switch and build a starter kit. 15% off AND free shipping when you buy a Notes starter kit at notescandle.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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