The Best of You Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan Deal
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Jan 9, 2025 Ron Deal, a licensed marriage and family therapist and bestselling author, joins forces with his wife Nan Deal, co-founder of Connor's Song, to share their intimate journey of healing a marriage on the brink of collapse. They discuss the transformative power of understanding personal pain cycles and how these impact relationships. Listeners gain insights into nurturing the 'us-ness' in a marriage, practical tools for emotional growth, and the importance of self-awareness. Their candid exploration of grief and recovery resonates deeply, offering hope for all couples.
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Ultimatum That Sparked Change
- Nan recounts arriving at home with a suitcase and demanding change after Ron's long work hours created loneliness and distance.
- That ultimatum led them to Dr. Hargrave's office the next day and began the work that saved their marriage.
Four Pain Cycles Explained
- Ron explains fight-or-flight shows up in four relational pain cycles: blame, shame, control, and escape.
- Identifying your primary cycle helps you predict reactivity and begin intentional change.
Grief Led To A Decade Of Numbing
- Nan shares moving from blame and shame into escape after their son's death, numbing with alcohol and prescriptions for a decade.
- She traces that addiction back to earlier pain cycles of blame, shame, and control.
