The Best of You

Why do we work so hard to earn the approval of others? And what is it really costing us? In this candid, practical episode, Dr. Alison tackles one of the most common struggles she hears from so many of you: people pleasing. You’ll hear powerful voice messages from listeners as she explores the many forms this pattern can take—from avoiding conflict, to saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” to slowly losing sight of who you really are. Together, you’ll learn: 5 common roots of people pleasing How certain Bible verses get misused to reinforce self-erasure The high cost of people pleasing 3 simple steps to move toward wholeness 📥 Pick up your copy of The Best of You—Dr. Alison’s book on this topic here 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Other episodes you might like : Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass Episode 14: The Fawn Response 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In a thought-provoking conversation, cognitive psychologist Dr. Therese Huston enlightens listeners about the pitfalls of venting and numbing behaviors. She shares that many 'breaks' can actually drain your energy instead of restoring it. Dr. Huston introduces quick brain-reset techniques that take less than five minutes and emphasizes the power of engaging in enjoyable activities for true relaxation. This episode isn't just about managing stress—it's about nurturing your mental and emotional well-being to reclaim your peace and joy.

Are you tired of holding it all together for everyone else? In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden ache of emotional caretaking—the quiet ways we overfunction, over-give, and overlook our own needs to keep the peace. Whether it started in childhood or has become a way of coping in adult relationships, many of us have learned to survive by tending to others while slowly disappearing ourselves. Alison shares what she’s learning about her own inner caretaker and gently invites you to reconnect with the parts of you that are tired, weary, and worthy of care. This isn’t about walking away from the people you love—it’s about learning to stay grounded in yourself as you care well for others. This episode explores: Why emotional caretaking can feel like love—but quietly wears you down How childhood dynamics shape your adult urge to fix, help, or rescue What most people get wrong about “self-care” The hidden cost of always tending to others while neglecting yourself A gentle practice to reconnect with your inner caretaker—and what she needs This episode is a loving reminder: Your needs matter. Your soul deserves care. And you don’t have to carry it all alone. 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 138: Breaking Free from Overfunctioning –– DIscover the Hidden Costs of Always Being the Responsible One Episode 151: The Hidden Reason You Feel Overwhelmed –– Understanding the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip Episode 152: The Anxiety Beneath Perfectionism –– Why Trying Harder Won’t Set You Free 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Get 50% off a nightguard at checkout when you code BESTOFYOU at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to risk love again—after loss, heartbreak, and the disorientating grief that follows? In this incredibly tender and powerful conversation, I’m joined by Stephanie Duncan Smith, author of Even After Everything, to talk about the kind of spiritual confusion that often follows personal loss. Stephanie shares how a painful pregnancy loss just before Christmas reshaped her understanding of God. Together, we explore how to stay grounded in God’s love even when your emotions feel muted, your prayers feel flat, or your sense of spiritual connection feels off. Whether you’ve experienced loss or walked alongside someone who has, this episode is an invitation into honest faith and the sacred practice of hope. This episode explores: Why spiritual numbness is a natural response to pain What it looks like to grieve without having to fake it How to handle deep pain during seasons that are supposed to be joyful Why naming your loss honestly can help you heal How Stephanie processed the grief of pregnancy loss 📘 Get Stephanie’s book: Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Listen to more episodes on grief and healing: Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with Renowned Grief Expert David Kessler Episode 102: How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & God Episode 159: Spiritual Drowning, Honest Questions, and a God Who Doesn’t Let Go with Heather Thompson Day 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Curtis Chang, a theologian and mental health advocate, shares his journey through anxiety and how it can serve as an invitation to healing. He discusses Jesus' own experience with anxiety, challenging the shame that surrounds mental health. The conversation dives into strategies for parents to support their anxious children and emphasizes the importance of authentic connections over social media's superficiality. Curtis encourages listeners to confront their fears and embrace anxiety as a pathway to self-love and spiritual growth.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions or stuck in patterns of self-criticism, this episode offers a practical path forward rooted in both psychology and spiritual wisdom. In this powerful re-air of a foundational episode, Dr. Alison Cook introduces the transformative approach behind Boundaries for Your Soul. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Christian faith, Alison shares how to lead your inner life with clarity, kindness, and strength. Instead of pushing away difficult emotions, you’ll learn how to create space for them—with healthy boundaries that bring healing and peace. This episode explores: A step-by-step framework to navigate emotional overwhelm The 3 internal roles we all carry—and how to listen to each one with care Why spiritual growth requires emotional awareness How Jesus modeled soul-level boundaries An effective way to approach anxiety, anger, or fear without shame Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or deep in the work of personal transformation, this episode will give you tools to understand yourself better and lead from a place of wholeness. 📥 Get your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📚 Explore Alison’s books:  Boundaries for Your Soul: https://a.co/d/fwOjZde The Best of You: https://a.co/d/fjkMhoc I Shouldn’t Feel This Way: https://a.co/d/5x1cgie 📥 Get the Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools mentioned in last week’s episode when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on internal boundaries, check out: Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions Episode 41:  Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness & Set Boundaries with Loneliness Episode 43: How to Tame Your Inner Critic Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. Visit FayNutrition.com/BESTOFYOU to see if you qualify to work with a dietitian for as little as $0. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer can leave you feeling frazzled, so setting healthy boundaries is crucial. Discover how these boundaries protect your brain and relationships. Learn about different boundary levels, from simple resets to firm protections. The guide provides practical scripts for immediate implementation. Plus, explore the power of self-compassion and why the toughest boundaries are often with yourself. By the end, you'll feel empowered to create more peace and joy in your life!

In this enlightening discussion, Esau McCaulley, a New Testament scholar and author, shares how embracing the complicated parts of our stories can empower growth and healing. He discusses facing personal trauma with honesty, emphasizing that our past matters even though it doesn’t define our future. The conversation delves into the complexities of forgiveness, balancing familial ties, and the influence of race on identity. Ultimately, it offers a hopeful perspective on integrating our whole selves to live more purposefully.

What do you do when the very place that was supposed to nourish your soul becomes a source of deep harm? In this deeply moving and necessary conversation, therapist, pastor, and trauma specialist Rachael Clinton Chen joins Dr. Alison Cook to talk about the pain of spiritual abuse—and what it looks like to begin healing from it. Whether you’ve experienced overt harm in a religious setting or carry subtle wounds from spiritual messaging that shaped your identity in unhealthy ways, this episode offers a gentle, powerful invitation toward healing, dignity, and reclaiming your voice. Rachael shares: Her own story of healing from spiritual abuseWhy spiritual pain is often so hard to name How systems of control in churches and families silence women and survivors The importance of embodiment and “coming home to yourself” in healing A theological lens for honoring your anger, grief, and truth If you've ever questioned your worth because of how faith was used against you—or wondered how to hold onto your spirituality while confronting the harm—you’re not alone. This episode is full of insight, validation, and hope for your journey. 📋Spiritual abuse can be hard to recognize, because it’s often the water we’re swimming in. That’s why The Allender Center put together a self-guided checklist designed to help identify signs of spiritual abuse in your own life or the lives of others. You can download it here. 🖥Take a healing step and start The Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course and use code COOK20 for 20% at checkout. If this episode speaks to you, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 67⁠ — The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 153 — Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride ⁠Episode 17⁠ — What Is Church Hurt and How Do I Heal? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when repair in your family isn’t possible—at least not yet? In this powerful follow-up to last week’s conversation on family pain, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman sits with me as we explore the heartbreak and complexity of family estrangement—from both sides of the story. With deep compassion and personal insight, Dr. Coleman shares what he’s learned through decades of research—and from his own journey as a parent who experienced estrangement from his adult daughter. Whether you're the one who stepped away from a parent or you're a parent who’s been cut off by a child, this conversation offers a rare, balanced look at a path to healing. Dr. Coleman shares: Why estrangement is rising—and what’s really behind it When a temporary break might be helpful What to do if your parent won’t take responsibility—or if your child won’t re-engage How humility (not humiliation) opens the door to healing Practical guidance for both adult children and estranged parents If you’ve ever wrestled with how to honor a parent who hurt you—or how to rebuild with a child who’s walked away—this episode is full of wisdom, hope, and next steps. 🖥 Learn more about Dr. Coleman’s work here. 📚 Grab a copy of his book Rules of Estrangement here. If you liked this episode, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 161⁠ — Finding Yourself without Losing Your Family: Healing From Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Episode 127 — Healing Childhood Wounds: The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships Episode 85⁠ — The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you’ll feel the difference the very first night. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Start seeing a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Connect further with Dr. Alison Cook: IG: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/ www.dralisoncook.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices