The Best of You

This week, I’m joined by someone whose work has profoundly shaped my own healing journey—Dr. Hillary McBride. A psychologist, researcher, author, and speaker, Hillary is a leading voice in the integration of embodiment, spirituality, and trauma recovery. We discuss her personal story as well as themes from her powerful new book, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing.Whether you’ve struggled with body image, experienced spiritual harm, or simply long to feel more whole—this conversation is for you.We explore:* Hillary’s story of healing from an eating disorder—and how it led her into her life’s work* Why body image issues are never just about the body* How trauma fragments our nervous system and disrupts our sense of safety, trust, and self* What spiritual trauma is and how it can quietly take root in early beliefs and experiences* How our attachment to God is often shaped by relational wounds—and what healing can look likeOrder your copy of Holy Hurt hereFind a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn’t the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of BelieveThanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia HjortMusic by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the compelling link between perfectionism and anxiety, revealing how the need for flawlessness often masks deeper fears. Discover why striving for perfection rarely leads to satisfaction. Learn to identify the subtle signs of anxiety and the surprising questions to ask yourself when perfectionism takes hold. Gain practical strategies to break free from these crippling behaviors. Embrace vulnerability, self-compassion, and the invaluable idea that love and worth don’t hinge on being perfect.

Dr. Morgan Cutlip, a psychologist and relationship expert, dives into the often-overlooked concept of the mental load—the invisible responsibilities that weigh heavily on individuals, particularly women. She shares insights from her book, "A Better Share," highlighting how mental load manifests in relationships and parenting. The conversation covers practical strategies for effective communication, recognizing signs of overload, and balancing responsibilities within partnerships to prevent burnout and resentment. It's an enlightening discussion on creating healthier family dynamics.

In a compelling discussion, Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of 'The Great Sex Rescue,' unpacks the myths surrounding sexual intimacy in Christian marriages. Drawing from her research with over 20,000 women, she reveals the damaging effects of viewing sex as an obligation. Sheila emphasizes the importance of mutual satisfaction and reframing intimacy to foster true connection. The conversation also explores how to challenge harmful teachings and prioritize emotional closeness, providing hope and practical wisdom for couples seeking deeper intimacy.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison explores the pervasive issue of narcissism—a term that's become increasingly relevant in today's culture. From toxic relationships to leadership failures, the influence of narcissism is widespread, affecting many without us even realizing it. Dr. Alison explains what it is and offers strategies to protect ourselves from its insidious effects.You'll discover:* The true meaning of narcissism beyond the buzzword.* How to recognize love bombing* The dangers of gaslighting and manipulation * The tactics of triangulation * Practical steps to guard your emotional health and develop resilience.Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode1: What is Narcissism Really? Episode 13: Dr. Alison Answers Your Questions: Criticism, Narcissism, and Boundaries Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide. Contact www.restoringthesoul.com and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer in Christian counseling and founder of The Allender Center, joins Dr. Alison to explore the raw, real work of marriage, trauma, and intimacy. Known for his groundbreaking book, The Wounded Heart, Allender has spent decades teaching how personal trauma shapes relationships. And on the very day of his 48th wedding anniversary, he openly shares how these dynamics continue to play out in his own marriage.In this episode, we dive into:* The surprising (and hilarious) fight he and his wife had the night before their anniversary* Why marriage is both heaven and hell—and why that’s actually a good thing* The childhood wounds that have impacted his own marriage* Why logic doesn’t help when we get emotionally hijacked* How to fight well and grow through conflictCheck out The Deep Rooted Marriage anywhere books are sold.Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan DealThanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their free pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this powerful episode, Dr. Alison welcomes Adam Young, a psychotherapist and author of the new book, “Make Sense of Your Story”, to dive into the complexities of family dynamics, and how the stories we tell about our families shape our adult lives. Adam shares his personal experiences and professional insights on how being triangulated within his family as a child impacted his psychological development and emotional health.Here's what you'll learn:* Why it’s crucial to identify family myths* The unique trauma of being the chosen child* Idealizing families—why we do it & how it hurts us* The danger of self-betrayal in relationships* The #1 way to heal childhood attachment wounds* Traits of securely attached relationshipsGet Make Sense of Your Story by Adam YoungHave a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 79: Surviving Trauma & A Path to Forgiveness—Finding God In the Hardest Parts of Your Story With Esau McCaulleyThanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special bonus episode of The Best of You podcast, Dr. Alison welcomes Annie F. Downs, New York Times bestselling author and founder of the That Sounds Fun network. Together, they explore the balance between joy and hardship, and the crucial differences between escapism and genuine relief. Annie also shares the poignant story behind her new children’s book, Where Did TJ Go? as well as insights into how fun and play can be integral to healing.Here’s what we cover:* The negative internal messages Annie had to overcome* The difference between real relief and escapism* Annie's personal journey through grief and how it has deepened her understanding of joy* Practical advice on integrating play into everyday life* An exclusive look into Annie’s new children's book, a heartfelt tool for families navigating griefPurchase Annie's new children's book Where did TJ Go?Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love Episode 142: Digital Detox—Surprising Insights from 7 Screen-Free Weeks with Monks & Amish Farmers Featuring Carlos WhittakerThanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!  Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey or launch. And be sure to visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Dr. Alison dives into a heartfelt exploration of rejection, including how we internalize rejection from early life experiences, and how these moments shape our sensitivity to social dynamics and self-perception later in life. Dr. Alison shares personal stories and scientific insights to unpack the physical and emotional impacts of rejection, offering a pathway to healing and acceptance.You’ll learn:* How early experiences of rejection influence our reactions and relationships in adulthood* The scientific basis for why rejection hurts so much* Strategies for reframing our internal narratives* Practical tips for engaging with the parts of ourselves that still feel the sting of past rejectionsHave a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 87: A Surprising Way to Break Free From Self-Criticism & Comparing Yourself to OthersThanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this profoundly insightful episode, Dr. Alison explores the often overlooked "young places" within our souls with John Eldredge, New York Times bestselling author, counselor, and the author of the new book Experience Jesus. Really. Together, they explore how these inner areas of wounding can lead to transformative encounters with Jesus, providing opportunities for deeper healing through experiencing God’s loving presence.Here’s what we cover:*John's challenge to move past our over-reliance on left-brain thinking*The surprising ways God beckons our souls toward healing*A powerful example of how Jesus responds to young parts carrying trauma*The critical mistake many make when seeking healing*Why John believes we are all like amphibians*The difference between the illusion of security and the reality of safetyGet Experience Jesus. Really hereHave a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 76: When Self-Help Isn’t Enough—Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache With Granger SmithThanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices