The Best of You

We're tackling a topic that continues to strike a chord with so many of you: how to make a change when you're stuck between loyalty and growth, guilt and freedom, regret and redemption. If you’ve ever struggled with a complicated relationship or wrestled with the quiet shame of feeling stuck, this episode is for you. We explore: The 3 brave paths you can take when a relationship feels hard. A powerful story of a woman confronting regret. How to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt What "radical surrender" really means. Whether you're braving a big life change or feeling held back by old emotional patterns, this episode will gives you courage, clarity, and compassion. 📞 Plus, don’t forget to call 307-429-2525 to share your thoughts or a question for a future episode. ‍If you liked this, you’ll love:‍ Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free – How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your Fault ‍Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!‍ ‍Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if fear isn’t a warning sign—but a signal you’re stepping into something that matters? I’m joined by the brilliant and creative Mary Marantz to explore why fear often shows up right before a breakthrough—and how to stop seeing it as a reason to back down. We also get into:* How fear hides behind perfectionism, people-pleasing, and procrastination* The surprising link between fear and creativity* Why grief is often the first step in learning to trust yourself* What it means to become the “grown-up in the room” for your own healing* How naming your inner critic can help disarm its power Check out Mary’s new book Underestimated! 📞 Don’t forget—We want to hear from you! What’s one area of your emotional, mental, or spiritual health where you’d like to grow? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a voicemail with your name, where you’re from, and your answer. Your voice may be featured in a future episode! Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs and How Do I Overcome Them with Mary Marantz Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/NIVAB and using promo code BESTOFYOU! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Give your loved ones a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—StoryWorth! Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia HjortMusic by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do I feel guilty for protecting my time or energy? Is this a boundary—or am I just avoiding someone? Boundaries stir up a lot of emotions. But what if they’re not about building walls, avoiding people, or being “selfish”? In this episode, I share a deeply personal and surprising take on what boundaries truly are—and why they matter more than you think. You'll hear: *Why healthy boundaries begin not with rejection, but with rhythm *The two most common ways we misuse boundaries *A powerful metaphor that changed how I think about relationships *How codependency, enmeshment, and burnout signal boundary issues *Real-life scripts and strategies to set boundaries with compassion and clarity Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 124: Boundaries & Numbing—How to Set Healthy Limits and Stop Avoiding Your Feelings Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 7: Why Are Boundaries So Hard to Set? Thanks to our sponsors: Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever felt emotionally exhausted—even while doing all the “right” things—this episode is for you.I’m sharing a personal story and unpacking something I see in so many women I work with: the quiet, often unnoticed pattern of denying your own needs in the name of being kind, helpful, or faithful.We’ll talk about how these patterns take root, how faith communities can unknowingly reinforce them, and why that emotional exhaustion you’re feeling might be trying to tell you something important.In this episode, I explore:* How codependency hides behind helping & overfunctioning* How the fawn response might be showing up in your life* The impact of church messages that tell us to "die to ourselves" without teaching us how to live* What healthy dependence looks like* Why your locus of control—internal vs. external—matters more than you thinkHave a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter? Episode 14: The Fawn Response & The Hidden Root of People Pleasing Thanks to our sponsors: For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia HjortMusic by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, I’m joined by someone whose work has profoundly shaped my own healing journey—Dr. Hillary McBride. A psychologist, researcher, author, and speaker, Hillary is a leading voice in the integration of embodiment, spirituality, and trauma recovery. We discuss her personal story as well as themes from her powerful new book, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing.Whether you’ve struggled with body image, experienced spiritual harm, or simply long to feel more whole—this conversation is for you.We explore:* Hillary’s story of healing from an eating disorder—and how it led her into her life’s work* Why body image issues are never just about the body* How trauma fragments our nervous system and disrupts our sense of safety, trust, and self* What spiritual trauma is and how it can quietly take root in early beliefs and experiences* How our attachment to God is often shaped by relational wounds—and what healing can look likeOrder your copy of Holy Hurt hereFind a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn’t the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of BelieveThanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia HjortMusic by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the compelling link between perfectionism and anxiety, revealing how the need for flawlessness often masks deeper fears. Discover why striving for perfection rarely leads to satisfaction. Learn to identify the subtle signs of anxiety and the surprising questions to ask yourself when perfectionism takes hold. Gain practical strategies to break free from these crippling behaviors. Embrace vulnerability, self-compassion, and the invaluable idea that love and worth don’t hinge on being perfect.

Dr. Morgan Cutlip, a psychologist and relationship expert, dives into the often-overlooked concept of the mental load—the invisible responsibilities that weigh heavily on individuals, particularly women. She shares insights from her book, "A Better Share," highlighting how mental load manifests in relationships and parenting. The conversation covers practical strategies for effective communication, recognizing signs of overload, and balancing responsibilities within partnerships to prevent burnout and resentment. It's an enlightening discussion on creating healthier family dynamics.

In a compelling discussion, Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of 'The Great Sex Rescue,' unpacks the myths surrounding sexual intimacy in Christian marriages. Drawing from her research with over 20,000 women, she reveals the damaging effects of viewing sex as an obligation. Sheila emphasizes the importance of mutual satisfaction and reframing intimacy to foster true connection. The conversation also explores how to challenge harmful teachings and prioritize emotional closeness, providing hope and practical wisdom for couples seeking deeper intimacy.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison explores the pervasive issue of narcissism—a term that's become increasingly relevant in today's culture. From toxic relationships to leadership failures, the influence of narcissism is widespread, affecting many without us even realizing it. Dr. Alison explains what it is and offers strategies to protect ourselves from its insidious effects.You'll discover:* The true meaning of narcissism beyond the buzzword.* How to recognize love bombing* The dangers of gaslighting and manipulation * The tactics of triangulation * Practical steps to guard your emotional health and develop resilience.Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode1: What is Narcissism Really? Episode 13: Dr. Alison Answers Your Questions: Criticism, Narcissism, and Boundaries Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide. Contact www.restoringthesoul.com and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer in Christian counseling and founder of The Allender Center, joins Dr. Alison to explore the raw, real work of marriage, trauma, and intimacy. Known for his groundbreaking book, The Wounded Heart, Allender has spent decades teaching how personal trauma shapes relationships. And on the very day of his 48th wedding anniversary, he openly shares how these dynamics continue to play out in his own marriage.In this episode, we dive into:* The surprising (and hilarious) fight he and his wife had the night before their anniversary* Why marriage is both heaven and hell—and why that’s actually a good thing* The childhood wounds that have impacted his own marriage* Why logic doesn’t help when we get emotionally hijacked* How to fight well and grow through conflictCheck out The Deep Rooted Marriage anywhere books are sold.Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan DealThanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their free pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Music by Andy LuitenSound editing by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices