171: Why People Pleasing Actually Makes You Feel More Alone, and 3 Steps to Create Real Connection

Why do we work so hard to earn the approval of others? And what is it really costing us?

In this candid, practical episode, Dr. Alison tackles one of the most common struggles she hears from so many of you: people pleasing.

You’ll hear powerful voice messages from listeners as she explores the many forms this pattern can take—from avoiding conflict, to saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” to slowly losing sight of who you really are.

Together, you’ll learn:

• 5 common roots of people pleasing
• How certain Bible verses get misused to reinforce self-erasure
• The high cost of people pleasing
• 3 simple steps to move toward wholeness

📥 Pick up your copy of The Best of You—Dr. Alison’s book on this topic here

📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email.

Other episodes you might like :

Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival

Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass

Episode 14: The Fawn Response

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

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Editing by Giulia Hjort

Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik

Music by Andy Luiten

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

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