Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

“I want a divorce.”   It’s one of the most alarming sentences a married person can hear. And — in one way or another — it means that your marriage is about to change.  But it doesn’t always mean that your marriage is about to end. When your spouse asks you for a divorce, it breaks one of two ways: it either leads to a “transformational crisis” where couples make positive and often long-overdue changes to their relationship, or it’s the beginning of the end. I want you and your husband or wife to have the first outcome. That’s why I created this episode of the podcast for you. I wanted to give you some guidance for navigating this incredibly scary situation, based on my work with countless couples over the years who pulled their marriages back from the brink of divorce. I know from experience that it is often possible to stop a divorce and save your marriage, but only if you manage this relationship crisis effectively. My hope is that this episode of the podcast will help you do that.  Later on, I’m joined by Rich Harris, a family law attorney in the Denver area who knows a lot about the other side of this issue. Rich is offering advice about where to begin if you aren’t able to save your marriage (although his team at the Harris Law Firm has seen many couples reconcile, even after their divorce cases were well underway).  I hope this episode helps you find clarity, direction, and peace of mind.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Is untreated ADHD causing trouble in your relationship?   “My partner doesn’t listen to me. He agrees to do something, and then he ‘forgets.’ I feel like he just doesn’t care. He didn’t even bother to get me a card for our anniversary…”    Sound familiar? Many couples arrive in counseling with a list of issues like these, and no awareness of one likely culprit: ADHD. The condition not only creates setbacks at work and in school, it can cause all kinds of misunderstandings in relationships, particularly when ADHD is undiagnosed and unmanaged.   That’s why I created this episode of the podcast for you. I wanted to talk about the under-discussed impact of ADHD in relationships, so you can get the support you need if it’s becoming an issue for you and your partner.    My Guest is Dori, a couples counselor, sex therapist, and ADHD coach on our team here at Growing Self. Funny enough, this topic hits close to home for both Dori and myself…like, extremely close. Tune in for more on that!   I hope our conversation gives you a new perspective on ADHD, and how you can manage it while keeping your relationship healthy and strong.   With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Are there emotional vampires lurking all around you?  Unfortunately, this isn’t a problem you can solve with a garlic necklace or some holy water. An “emotional vampire” (or “energy vampire”) is a very unscientific term for a person who stirs up strong emotional reactions in others — like anger, pity, discomfort, or annoyance. Not only do they not take accountability for this, they seem to feed off of it. They drain your time, energy, and emotional wherewithal, and give you little in exchange.  If a relationship is feeling bad, it could be that you’re dealing with one of these exhausting personality types. But sometimes, it’s more about the ingredients that you’re bringing to the table (or not bringing to the table). Many people need some help telling the difference, and I created this episode about “warding off emotional vampires” to make it a little easier. You’ll learn why certain people trigger you (while other people get along with them just fine), and how you can prevent emotional vampires from bleeding you dry.  Happy Halloween,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com 

Learning how to face your fears productively can give you clarity, direction, and — ironically — peace of mind. No one likes to feel afraid, but fear can be a powerful tool for living the life you want to live. Fear will alert you when you’re not living in alignment with your goals and your values. If you can face your fear and take wisdom from it, you can open doors that you wouldn’t otherwise have the clarity or the motivation to open.  Today’s podcast is all about facing your fears. I’m talking about why we feel fear, how fear can illuminate what’s most important to us, and how you can take guidance from your fear to live more fully and more in alignment with your values.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Learn how to recognize red flags in relationships with Dr. Paige M. as she shares valuable insights on boundary pushing, possessiveness, and jealousy. Discover actionable advice on navigating red flags in relationships and setting healthy boundaries for successful connections. Gain valuable tips on identifying toxic behaviors and prioritizing self-awareness in both personal and professional relationships.

Over the past few decades, we’ve made some huge strides toward building equality in our relationships. It’s no longer rare for a woman to be her family’s primary breadwinner, or to see a dad perusing the produce aisle with a Baby Bjorn strapped to his chest.  Yet, for many couples who arrive in couples counseling or relationship coaching, the division of household labor is still a perennial source of conflict and resentment. Many couples still fall into traditional gender roles when it comes to who’s doing the cleaning, the cooking, and the shopping, even though it’s now the norm for both partners to work full-time.  Furthermore, tasks or roles associated with “women’s work” are often viewed as being less valuable and important than activities associated with traditional male roles. Even relationships between career-focused women and stay-at-home dads can have issues with power imbalances and inequality because we value these types of work differently based on our attitudes about gender. Relationships that feel imbalanced and unfair are not only bad for the partner who’s doing most of the daily household tasks. They’re bad for the relationship itself, and for both partners inside of it. Becoming truly equal partners is often the path to creating a happier, more connected, and more fulfilling relationship (and, interestingly, a better sex life), and that’s what we’re discussing on today’s episode of the podcast.  My guest is Kate Mangino, a gender expert, speaker, and the author of “Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home.” Kate is sharing wisdom from her extensive social science research, her two decades of work within the international development sector, as well her own life and relationship, to help you find more balance and create a truly equal partnership that feels fair and fulfilling.  I hope you’ll tune in to this important conversation on equality in relationships, which not only applies to heterosexual couples, but to anyone who has some internalized gender scripts to interrogate (in other words, everyone!)   With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

In this engaging discussion, Lori and David Sims, experienced step-parents and co-creators of the Nacho Method, share their insights on blending families. They address the emotional intricacies of step-parenting, emphasizing the importance of communication and setting boundaries. Listeners will appreciate their practical tips on navigating the tricky dynamics of step-parenting, enhancing relationships, and managing expectations. With their guidance, step-parents can foster supportive environments and nurture happier blended families.

What is your apology language? And, more importantly… what’s your partner’s?  As an experienced marriage counselor and couples therapist, I know that apologizing is an essential skill for healthy relationships.  But not all apologies are created equal. Just as partners must learn to speak each other’s love languages to help each other feel cared for, they must also learn to apologize in ways that feel meaningful to their partner and pave the way to genuine forgiveness. Tune in to learn all about apology languages, the anatomy of a good apology, and how you can repair “relationship injuries” and get things back on track with the people you love the most.  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

On today’s episode of the podcast, we’re covering a topic that doesn’t get nearly the attention it deserves: the unique challenges of maintaining a relationship when you or your partner are members of the military, and how you can keep your military relationship healthy and strong.  If you or your partner (or both of you!) are service members, you know that the military can feel like a mistress, always meddling on the edges of your relationship… and sometimes high-jacking it completely. No matter how in love with each other you are, or how committed to your partnership you feel, it’s hard to be moved from place to place because of distant orders that you had little or no say in. It’s hard to have a career that takes you away from your partner and your children for extended periods of time. It’s hard to take care of everything on the home front by yourself, especially if you’re stationed far away from family and friends.  And it can be especially hard to find a marriage counselor or a long-distance relationship counselor who understands these unique challenges, and how to help military couples overcome them. Luckily, we have just such an expert joining us on this episode of the podcast. Jesse S., M.S, LMFT, is a marriage counselor and relationship coach here at Growing Self. He’s also a member of the military with over two decades of service, currently serving in the Connecticut National Guard as a First Sergeant in the 141st Ground Ambulance Unit. In addition to treating bodily wounds, he’s passionate about helping other service members heal and grow as individuals, and within their relationships. Today, he’s sharing his insight and guidance with you. I hope you’ll join us! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

When you’re crushing on somebody, you’re not dreaming about how supportive they’d be if your mother was in the hospital, or how adept they’ll be at receiving your feedback in the midst of a furious argument. No — you’re much too focused on how cute their eyes look when they smile, or how nice they smell.    That’s because we’re attracted to people based on their physical appearance, and their personalities (insofar as we can know someone’s personality within a few months of dating).   This isn’t because we’re all shallow jerks — it’s just that we’re biologically primed to hone in on the qualities that make for an excellent short-term mate (short-term as in, long enough to make a baby and keep it alive until it can walk), rather than the deep personal qualities that actually make for a good life partner.    Whether you’re dating or in a relationship, it’s to your benefit to learn about these deeper qualities, so that you can recognize them in others and cultivate them in yourself. If you can focus on character over chemistry in your relationships, you can create a partnership that’s healthy, strong, and truly built to last.    On this episode of the podcast, I’m going to tell you how. Using insight I’ve gained through working with countless couples over the years in marriage counseling and relationship coaching, I’m going to tell you what actually makes a good life partner — and how you can develop your own “good partner” skills to create better relationships.    With Love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com