Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Your body has changed radically since the day you were born, and your mind is continually growing and changing based on your experiences. But what about your emotional world? What does it mean to become emotionally mature, and how can you build your emotional maturity?    Unlike gray hairs and forehead wrinkles, emotional maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age. It’s something we have to cultivate with intention by building our self-awareness, empathy, and understanding. It’s not always easy work (in fact, our most difficult experiences are the ones that spur the greatest emotional growth), but the benefits are endless. Best of all, this work is never finished — you always have room to become more emotionally mature, and this episode of the podcast will show you how.    My guest is Dr. Harold P., D.Min., M.A., CCC, CPC, a marriage counselor, life coach, and therapist on our team at Growing Self. Harold not only helps clients build their emotional maturity (often through emotional intelligence coaching), he’s also someone who exudes emotional maturity himself, and today he’s sharing his secret with you.    I hope you’ll join us for this episode, all about becoming emotionally mature.    With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

Have you ever been told that “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it?”    As maddening as this can be to hear (especially if it’s lobbed at you in the middle of a disagreement), it’s also true: The way we deliver a message impacts the way it’s received just as much as the message itself.  In fact, most of what we communicate to the people around us is not in the form of words. We are all constantly communicating through subtle cues that we give off unintentionally, running each other’s messages through the filter of our own experiences and beliefs, then forming judgments about each other that we rarely voice out loud.    This is what’s happening when someone gives you a “bad vibe” that you can’t quite put your finger on. It’s also why two people can walk away from the same conversation with completely different interpretations of what was said. To communicate effectively and avoid the kind of miscommunication that can damage relationships, you have to consider not only the words you’re using, but the spirit behind your message and the way you’re conveying that spirit.    The skills we’re discussing in this episode are components of emotional intelligence, and emotional intelligence coaching is one of the core services we offer at Growing Self. Emotional intelligence is the key to satisfying personal relationships, and emotional intelligence in the workplace is the foundation of professional success. We also cover many of these skills in therapy, life coaching, and especially couples counseling. They’re useful for anyone who wants to become a better communicator — which I’m convinced is just about everyone.    While I know that many of the topics we’re discussing in this episode are of particular interest to career coaching clients, we also cover many of these skills in therapy, life coaching, and especially couples counseling. They’re useful for anyone who wants to become a better communicator — which I’m convinced is just about everyone.    I hope you’ll join me for this episode, all about “How do People See You?”   With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com  

Feeling invalidated is at the core of communication issues. When couples fight, they're usually fighting to be heard. Feeling shut down, or bulldozed by your partner is not just frustrating — if it happens routinely it can damage your relationship. Today, learn why emotional invalidation happens and what you can do to stop it. By the end of the episode, you’ll have some actionable takeaways to help you feel heard, valued, and understood. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

What goals do you have for your relationship? If an answer immediately sprang to your mind, that’s fantastic. You already know what you’d like to work on with your partner, and doing that work together will help you create a stronger, happier, and more sustainable relationship.    But if you’re like most people, you might not have clear “couple goals” that you’re working toward. Even if you’re someone who sets goals for your career, your finances, and even your hobbies, you may not yet think about your relationship as an area where you can build skills, develop yourself, and work toward mastery.    That’s because even the most responsible, conscientious, and goal-oriented among us tend to be more reactive than proactive when it comes to our relationships. Much to the chagrin of every marriage counselor I know, many people believe that relationship growth work is only for couples who have significant problems. In reality, proactively working on your relationship a little bit every day is how you prevent significant problems from taking root in the first place.    Setting couple goals is a way to challenge yourselves and each other, and intentionally grow together into the best possible partners you can be. I hope this episode of the podcast gives you some insight into the kind of proactive, positive, growth-oriented relationship work that you and your partner can begin doing right now — while you’re still happy and in love and having a fabulous time together.    Joining me for this conversation is my Growing Self colleague Sara B., a couples counselor and a relationship coach on our team. Sara has helped many people create their ideal relationships, and on today’s podcast, she’s serving up some actionable advice you won’t want to miss.    With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

Wouldn't it be amazing if you just felt genuinely happy with yourself, and your life, and like things were just the way they should be? Contentment is more than a mood state; it’s a mindset you can cultivate. It encompasses happy feelings, but also appreciation, gratitude, satisfaction, and peace. While happiness always wants more, contentment takes pleasure in what is. If contentment had a mantra it would be this: All is well in my world and I am so grateful to be exactly where I am.  While that is truly what we all want, it can also feel anxiety provoking to embrace contentment, especially for high achievers who worry if they stop striving, they stop moving forward. Today’s episode of the podcast is all about cultivating contentment. We’re talking about how you can take greater joy in your life exactly the way it is, while still growing, evolving, and yes, even striving for more.     With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

You know that it's important to stay in touch with your self by tuning into your feelings, but how? And, which ones? Knowing how to tap into your emotions in healthy ways puts you in touch with your values, it provides empathy for others, and it helps you know who you are, what you want, and how to show up for others. Unfortunately, most of us don’t receive much help building these skills and the result is often that we feel overwhelmed by confusing feelings... or don't feel much at all. I hope this episode of the podcast helps you think about feeling your feelings in a new light, and gives you some fresh ideas about how you can use your emotional guidance system to create the life you want.    With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  GrowingSelf.com

How can you make a hard decision when you have no idea what the future holds?    Should you quit your job? Cut off contact with your difficult friend? Buy the condo, or the house? Marry your partner? Dump your partner?   These are all complex questions with many variables, and it can feel incredibly confusing to weigh the pros and cons of each — particularly when you know that the decision may have a big impact on your life trajectory.   Help is here. This episode of the podcast will teach you how to make hard decisions using your internal wisdom, and the incomplete information you have about the future.   Joining me are two of my Growing Self colleagues with a lot of experience with this topic. Alejandra P. is a marriage counselor on our team who helps people find clarity about their relationships, and Kristi H. is an experienced career coach and counselor who helps people navigate big, bold career changes.    If you’re facing a hard decision, listen to this episode, and get clarity and confidence about how to move forward.   With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com 

If you’re a hardworking, talented, and career-driven person, you probably aspire to be a leader some day. It’s easy to understand why. “Being a boss” can feel like a natural next step after years or even decades of hard work and professional achievement.    But being a good boss requires a number of skills that are separate from the ones that probably got you promoted. When you become a leader, your talents for writing code, or planning weddings, or stamping out widgets at the widget factory become insignificant overnight, and your career success begins to depend instead on how well you communicate, motivate, and connect with the hearts and minds of others.    Most people find this shift harder than they expected. They often end up feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and less sure of themselves than they felt before becoming a boss. Many seek out career counseling or leadership coaching to learn not only how to be a boss, but how to be a good boss, capable of leading a team of talented people to accomplish great things. They begin a process of personal growth that makes them more aware, more influential, and more courageous, at work and in every other area of their lives.    This episode of the podcast is for anyone who leads other people, or who hopes to someday. As a small business owner myself, I can tell you that being a good boss is not a destination, but an ongoing journey that will challenge you in unexpected ways. I hope this episode gives you some fresh ideas for where to begin.  With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com  

What hopes and dreams do you have for your kids?  Do you want them to do well in school? Have good friends who love and support them? Build a successful career doing what they love? Find a healthy, loving relationship some day and start a family of their own? As both a marriage and family therapist and a parent myself, I can tell you that these are the dreams that most parents, including myself, have for their children. And that there’s one skill that’s essential for making all of these dreams and many others a reality: empathy.  Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s emotional experience, and to connect with it from a compassionate place. Empathetic people have healthier relationships, a wider circle of support, stronger self-esteem, and greater success in every area of life. Fortunately, we all have the power to help our kids hone their empathy, and this episode of the podcast will help you do that.  My guest is Georgi B., a marriage counselor and parent coach on our team at Growing Self. Georgi is sharing some valuable parenting tips on teaching empathy to kids. You won’t want to miss this conversation — this topic is so important, and it goes so much deeper than you think! I hope you’ll join us.  With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

One of the hardest parts of healing after a breakup is knowing that your Ex is with someone new. Even if you were starting to heal and pull yourself back together emotionally, finding out that your Ex is moving on feels devastating… even if you know in your heart of heart that this relationship was not good for you. Yep. You’re not crazy — that emotional whiplash is real, and it’s exactly what we’re talking about in this episode of Love, Happiness, and Success. We’re diving deep into the biological, psychological, and emotional reasons why it hurts so much when your ex moves on — even if you were the one who ended things, even if you thought you were over it, and even if you know you don’t want them back. I’m walking you through what’s really happening in your brain, body, and heart when that news hits and sharing some strategies you can use to take back your peace, rebuild your confidence, and help you move forward with strength. Timestamps: 00:00 - Why seeing your ex move on hits like a gut punch 02:31 - What’s actually happening in your brain and body 05:37 - The science behind why you can’t stop thinking about them 08:21 - Obsessive thoughts vs. healing thoughts (and how to tell the difference) 21:34 - How to use self-awareness and mindfulness to calm the storm 33:14 - Shifting your thoughts: the key to peace 37:48 - Love as a drug: the biology of attachment and withdrawal 51:00 - What most therapists miss (and how to get the right kind of help) 53:59 - You will get through this — and grow because of it Letting go of someone you once loved (or maybe still do) isn’t just about time passing — it’s about intentionally reclaiming your power, rebuilding your sense of self, and learning how to care for your heart in a whole new way.  If listening to this episode stirred something in you — whether that’s grief, anger, confusion, or even clarity — that’s a sign. A sign that you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey. You might be further along than you think… or you might be missing a few key pieces that are keeping you emotionally tethered. Here’s where to start: 👉 Take my Heartbreak Recovery Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? — it’s quick, it’s insightful, and it’s designed to help you pinpoint exactly where you are in the healing process. More importantly, it will show you what you need to do next to get unstuck and start feeling like yourself again. 👉  If you’re ready for personalized support, you can schedule a free consultation with a breakup recovery expert here. You’ll be able to talk to someone who truly understands the messy, complicated, totally normal emotions you’re experiencing — and who knows how to help you move forward.  No matter what your ex is doing, you still get to decide the story you write from here. You are worthy of love, joy, and a life that feels whole — with or without them in it. And we’re here to walk with you every step of the way. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who just found out about their ex’s new relationship, send them this podcast episode. Your support and encouragement could be exactly what they need to start their healing journey.