Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

As a couples counselor, I can tell you that one of the most pernicious and common relationship patterns that couples get stuck in is the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic. This happens when one partner handles conflict by approaching it head-on, and the other has a tendency to pull away, shut down, or withdraw.  The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws, and the pattern can become very intense and even a little scary. The pursuer may start getting emotionally elevated, raising their voice, or even physically following their partner from room to room. The withdrawer, meanwhile, feels totally overwhelmed and unable to engage the more their partner pursues them. Nothing gets resolved, and typically, neither partner is fully aware of their own role in perpetuating the dynamic. Luckily, this is one of those problems that is totally solvable with the help of a good marriage counselor. When you understand why this relationship pattern happens, what your role is in the dynamic, and what you can do instead, everything can shift. On today's episode of the podcast, we're exploring how to break the pursuer-distancer pattern and create a healthier relationship where you can both feel heard, understood, and most of all, emotionally safe.  I hope you'll join me!  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  P.S. — Listening to a podcast is a great starting point, but it's not enough to break a deeply entrenched pursuer-distancer pattern. If you would like to put a stop to this dynamic for good, schedule a free consultation with an expert couples counselor on my team. 

Ever feel like your heart got drop-kicked out of nowhere? Like the rug was yanked from under you and now you’re spiraling, trying to make sense of what just happened? I see you. And if you've ever been blindsided by a breakup — truly blindsided — this episode is for you. In today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast, I’m pulling back the curtain on why blindsided breakups happen, why they hurt so much, and — most importantly — how to heal the heartbreak. I’ll walk you through the hard truths, the hidden opportunities, and the steps to rebuild your self-trust, so you can stop obsessing about your ex and start reconnecting with you. Timestamps: 00:00 – Blindside By A Breakup… Ouch. 05:06 – What REALLY Happens in a Blindside Breakup 09:31 – The Honest Truth About Why They Left 23:08 – From Pain to Power: What You Can Learn 24:47 – What Healing Actually Looks Like (and What Doesn’t) 46:09 – How to Heal From Heartbreak Being blindsided by a breakup can leave you spinning, questioning everything. It’s disorienting and destabilizing in a way few things are. But even though it might not feel like it right now, there is a path forward—and it begins with understanding where you are in your healing process. That’s exactly what my breakup quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You? is designed to help you do. It’s a free, research-informed tool created to help you identify which stage of healing you’re currently in, and what next step will actually help you feel better. Take two minutes. Get your results. And see where your healing begins. 👉 How Over You’re Ex Are You? Take the Quiz Now And if you’re sitting with a thousand unanswered questions, or you just wish someone who really gets it could help you make sense of this mess… that support is available too.  You can schedule a free consultation with a breakup recovery expert on my team—someone who knows exactly how to walk with you through this kind of pain. We’re here to listen, understand, and help you figure out what healing can look like for you. 👉 Schedule a Free Consultation This heartbreak doesn’t have to define you, and you don’t have to figure it out alone. You deserve support. You deserve peace. Most of all—you deserve to heal. You can start right now.  Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who could benefit from this episode—maybe a friend or family member who was just blindsided by a breakup—pass this along to them. Knowing we’re supported can make all of the difference.  

Author Bonnie Wan shares insights on how to simplify your life by getting clear about your purpose. Topics include clarifying your values, time management, organizing your space, and evaluating relationships. Practical advice and deep reflections on streamlining your life in a way that resonates with your deepest values.

Are you navigating the single scene or maybe feeling a bit disheartened by relationships that just don't seem to click? You're not alone. Often, the biggest hurdle in our quest for love is the sneaky, self-limiting beliefs that quietly hold us back. These relationship myths are like invisible scripts dictating our love lives, and we've all got them. In today's episode, we're going to uncover these hidden culprits! You'll learn how to spot them and, more importantly, how to stop them from meddling in your journey to love. To make this conversation even more exciting (and meaningful) we'll have the amazing Damona Hoffman with us. She's a true expert in the world of dating and relationships, and she's here to share her insights on why it's time to ditch those fairy-tale expectations and focus on what really matters for creating a lasting, satisfying relationship. If one of your main life goals is to build a healthy relationship, this will be a game-changer for your love life. So tune in, get cozy, and let's dive deep into transforming your approach to love. You deserve a relationship as incredible as you are, and we're here to help you create it. Let's do this! 🌟💕 xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com PS: On the show we discussed a bunch of resources. Here's a link to a whole collection of free dating advice including a curated podcast playlist that I made for you. With love! xo

Learn about signs of a distressed relationship including displacement of blame and toxic conflict. Understand the importance of self-reflection and productive conflict resolution. Explore the narrative and sources of relationship problems, including shared responsibilities and intimacy. Discover the negative experiences and toxic arguments in distressed relationships. Emphasize the need for honest and courageous conversations with a couples therapist. Introduce discernment counseling as a different type of intervention for couples in distress.

Discover the significance of living authentically by utilizing your strengths. Learn how to shift your focus away from external standards and embrace personal growth. Recognize and utilize your natural strengths. Connect with a specialized career therapist to understand your strengths and set yourself up for success. Embrace personal growth and say yes to joy and success. Explore personal growth and transformation and connect with therapists at growingself.com.

If you've been going through a rough patch in your marriage for awhile now, it's understandable if you're questioning whether you should continue fighting. But many couples get discouraged before they've had a chance to engage in the process that makes transformation possible in relationships.  If you're interested in fighting for your marriage, this episode is for you. Our relationships are the most precious things we have, and your marriage probably has more potential for growth and renewal than you realize. On this episode, I'm telling you why your marriage is worth saving, and what you can do to turn a rough patch into a new beginning. I hope you'll join me.  Love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — If you are living through a marriage crisis, it's important to get help from a true relationship expert. Schedule a free consultation: https://www.growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation/ 

Explore the importance of getting clarity and confidence to achieve what you want in life. Learn about self-awareness and goal setting, taking action, and trying new experiences. Find out the significance of having a support person and reshaping your personal narrative. Seek guidance from a therapist or a life coach.

This podcast explores the significance of trust in relationships, how to build and maintain trust, the challenges in developing trust, and the multifaceted nature of trust. It also discusses the importance of honesty, emotional safety, and personal growth in fostering genuine and trustworthy relationships.

Learn how to build emotional intimacy in relationships by addressing barriers, creating a safe environment, and fostering open conversations. Find the right therapist based on specific goals and access free resources to improve relationships. Develop a growth mindset and practice self-awareness for building emotional intimacy.