Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

When you’re crushing on somebody, you’re not dreaming about how supportive they’d be if your mother was in the hospital, or how adept they’ll be at receiving your feedback in the midst of a furious argument. No — you’re much too focused on how cute their eyes look when they smile, or how nice they smell.    That’s because we’re attracted to people based on their physical appearance, and their personalities (insofar as we can know someone’s personality within a few months of dating).   This isn’t because we’re all shallow jerks — it’s just that we’re biologically primed to hone in on the qualities that make for an excellent short-term mate (short-term as in, long enough to make a baby and keep it alive until it can walk), rather than the deep personal qualities that actually make for a good life partner.    Whether you’re dating or in a relationship, it’s to your benefit to learn about these deeper qualities, so that you can recognize them in others and cultivate them in yourself. If you can focus on character over chemistry in your relationships, you can create a partnership that’s healthy, strong, and truly built to last.    On this episode of the podcast, I’m going to tell you how. Using insight I’ve gained through working with countless couples over the years in marriage counseling and relationship coaching, I’m going to tell you what actually makes a good life partner — and how you can develop your own “good partner” skills to create better relationships.    With Love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

It’s no secret that good communication is the key ingredient to a healthy relationship. But, as we all know, couples communication can be challenging — especially when you're under stress.   When you and your partner are under stress, communication gets hard. It’s so easy to forget everything you know about active listening and “I-statements” when you’re feeling emotionally elevated, and to slip into a communication style that’s heavy on criticism, blame, and defensiveness. This tendency is totally human — but it’s also a bad habit that we all must overcome for our relationships to truly thrive.    On this episode of the podcast, we’re discussing couples communication strategies that will not only help you manage feelings of stress without damaging your relationship, but that will tap into the power of your deep love and support for each other so you can get through stressful times while strengthening your connection.    My guest is Silas H., M.S., MFTC, a couples counselor and relationship coach on our team at Growing Self. Silas has helped many couples improve their communication patterns and overcome adversity as a team, and he’s sharing his original and highly actionable advice with you today.    All of this and more is here for you. I hope you’ll join us!   Xoxo,    Dr. Lisa Marie bobby GrowingSelf.com

All couples have differences, and having “spirited conversations” (aka, “conflict”) as you work towards resolving them is a normal part of every healthy relationship. That said, there are certain types of relationship conflict and emotional experiences that you should never minimize, or underestimate the importance of. These are the warning signs your relationship may be in real trouble, and when those are happening it's vital to deal with them. Understanding what they are can help you take positive action to repair your relationship so that you can heal your bond. Learn about the six signs your relationship is in trouble, and what to do if they’re present, on this episode of the podcast.  Your partner in growth,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Is it hard for you to trust your partner, or feel secure with them? If you've ever caught yourself double checking them (and then wondering to yourself, "Do I have trust issues?") this podcast is for you. We're talking about what trust issues are (and what they are not), signs of trust issues, what causes trust issues, how unresolved trust issues damage relationships, and what you can do to overcome them — so you can feel confident and secure. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps: Access all the resources I mention in this podcast on the blog at GrowingSelf.com!

Are you in a codependent relationship? If so you're probably feeling anxious, frustrated, and exhausted from trying to create positive change in your relationship single-handedly. (Or feeling like you're never quite good enough to meet the standards of your partner). Not fun for anyone! On today's episode, we're taking a deep dive into codependent relationships. Listen, and learn: - What codependent relationships are - Why they happen - The stages of codependency recovery - How you can get un-fused from each other so that you can both grow and flourish. How to stop being codependent: All for you! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

Managing Up for Career Success Have you ever worked in a truly terrible environment? Think back to that job now. What made it so bad?  If you’re like most people, the difference between a great job and a horrible job doesn’t have all that much to do with the work itself. Instead, it usually comes down to your relationships with your coworkers — and especially your relationship with your boss.  Having a positive, healthy relationship with your boss, based on genuine trust and respect, makes your working life so much easier, and ultimately helps you both reach your career goals.  So how can you build that kind of relationship? And how can you repair your relationship with your boss if it’s not off to a great start?  On today's episode, we are talking about “managing up,” a professional development strategy that will help you build better working relationships, find more satisfaction on the job and remove the trickiest obstacles between you and your ultimate career goals.  In this episode, we discuss… [00:58] What Is Managing Up? [14:19] What Managing Up Is Not [24:15] Why Managing Up Matters [34:53] How to Manage Up at Work  My guest is Dr. Lisa S., PhD, LPC, CCC. She is a career coach and counselor at Growing Self, as well as the past president of both the National Career Development Association and the Colorado Career Development Association. Today, she shares her insight and wisdom with you.  I hope you’ll join the “Doctors Lisa” for this lively and useful conversation about building an empowered, satisfying career by learning how to manage up. Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

No matter how secure your relationship is otherwise, it hurts when you feel sexually rejected by your partner. That’s because sexuality is vulnerable and often bound up with our feelings of love, and worthiness — particularly if one of your top love languages is physical touch.   Every long-term relationship involves some ebbs and flows in sexual desire, but how you manage those fluctuations matters — especially if you're feeling hurt, or resentful. To help you approach these conversations with vulnerability, empathy, courage, and grace, I’ve invited my colleague Dori B. to join me on this podcast episode.    Dori is a certified sex therapist and couples counselor here at Growing Self, and she’s helped countless couples navigate differences in sexual desire, while building even better relationships in the process. Today, she’s sharing her wisdom and guidance with you.    I hope you’ll join us for her warm, actionable advice about handling hurt feelings related to sex, and getting back in synch with your partner.   Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com  

People often wonder, “Is jealousy healthy in a relationship?”  Here’s the short answer: It depends. Jealousy can be healthy when it signals that it’s time to draw your partner close in response to a real or imagined threat. This is a good thing that helps preserve and strengthen your relationship — but only if you’re able to handle jealousy in a self-aware, intentional way. When jealousy gets out of control (particularly if it’s due to past relational trauma, rather than a current relational threat), it can be a destructive force that harms your relationship, your partner, and you.  In this episode, we’re talking about jealousy’s ancient roots, when it’s healthy and when it’s a problem, and how you can use feelings of jealousy to start important conversations, establish healthy boundaries, and strengthen your relationship.  Tune in for a discussion about: [03:23] What is Romantic Jealousy? [09:49] What Causes Jealousy in a Relationship? [17:49] When Jealousy is Healthy  [23:56] What to Do When You’re Feeling Jealous [41:56] When Jealousy Turns Abusive [46:01] Learning from Your Jealousy And more!  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

“Believe in yourself” is more than a soundbite. It’s a necessary ingredient in a happy, self-directed life.  It’s also easier said than done. If you (like basically everyone) have internal narratives about the things you can’t do or changes you can’t make, you’re going to need more than a pep talk or some positive affirmations to shake those narratives loose. You’re going to need a self-belief-building plan.  On this episode of the podcast, we’re discussing how to believe in yourself, and the real steps you can take to build self-confidence, self-efficacy, and self-esteem, so you can start living life by your own design. Our guest is Elise R., M.Ed., NCC, CCC, LPCC. Elise is a therapist, life coach, and “holistic life design” expert here at Growing Self. After helping countless people build their self-belief and reach their most ambitious goals, she’s sharing her sage wisdom and actionable advice with you.  We are discussing: - Self-efficacy - Shifting internally - Raising kids that believe in themselves - Mastering experiences - Building an empowered career - and more!  I hope you enjoy this episode and find the power of believing in yourself! You deserve it.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

Eating is one of the most basic ways we care for ourselves every day. But having an unhealthy relationship with food can leave you feeling stressed, emotionally drained, and bad about yourself, rather than nourished, energized and empowered.    Unfortunately, many of us have a fraught relationship with food. Emotional eating, shame, and anxiety around food or body image, and negative cultural messages about what we “should” be doing or how we “should” look, can get in the way of mindful, compassionate, and self-aware eating practices.    Intuitive eating is all about listening to yourself, trusting yourself, and having a positive relationship with the food that nourishes your body and brings you pleasure.    Today we're talking about how to shift from emotional to intuitive eating with an intuitive eating counselor who’s sharing some radical wisdom for making peace with food and your body. Tune in to learn all about:    [03:53] Emotional eating   [07:32] Unhealthy relationships with food   [17:06] Changing your relationship with food   [23:29] Adopting healthier coping mechanisms   And much more.     With love,    Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com