Something Positive for Positive People

Here's what we've touched on this episode: 20 Years old and diagnosed over a year with genital HSV at the start of the Pandemmy Found out this guy intentionally gave her and 3 other women HSV to claim them These ladies ganged up and pushed Emily OUT of the group so they could keep their man all to themselves They told her he has herpes and they encouraged her to go get tested and leave They said he does this to everyone new that he starts to like and hooks up with When she confronted the guy, he said “I know” and blocked her, yet showed up for work still Him not caring is what made her feel broken as that was the one person she’s trusted with her body and he broke it, making her feel disgusting This was her first partner so she knew it came from him Felt shocked and confused because this was also a coworker He didn’t care when they spoke and he knew what he’d done. Became severely depressed and saw a therapist This was her lowest point in her life Her friends picked her back up and helped her When girls say “He’s my best friend” Falling in love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate Is it my fault for “catching feelings” Red flags are love-bombing and faux connection and red flags start Who they are with me vs who they are with NOT me Ex girlfriend in the picture being “crazy” as a warning Average D game blinding from red flags DUDE IS A SOUNDCLOUD RAPPER What keeps us from retaliating to shitty people? No regard to consequences, nothing to lose, so fuck it. Shift the shame from stigma to shitty actions (Episode Title) From victim blaming to perpetrator shame Abuser threats to your threatening to out them for abuse Abusers have no shame (why is the fear greater of your consent violations carry more weight than abuse. The abuser shouldn’t be able to hurt you more after help is sought or action taken The three girls prioritizing him benefiting from this representative of upholding white supremacy He wrote a diss track about her and called her a homie hopper. Had incentive for a fresh start through reaching out to her sister for support to get that When disclosing your status, it’s all about the person Recognizing happiness for the first time after not seeing it for so long We all want matched energy I wanted him to be who he was WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US If you want pizza instead of tacos, get pizza, don’t eat tacos.

Having to strongly advocate for what she KNOWS was wrong with her body. 37 years old Told she has herpes then is told she should hurry up and have kids before even processing that she has herpes. Stigma in medicine looking like go have kids. Listening to my podcast helped them more than going to a professional. She had to figure this all out on her own Found a women’s group for support What if there’s one consistent test that says you do or don’t have herpes once a year KNOWING we’re being tested for it. Get on board with a better test Platonic same sex relationships validation and support through those rather than sex. Comfort in effort of community support being uplifted Do transmission rates matter? There’s always a chance Black & Brown folks and mental health How Awareness of Patterns Create choice What happens in this house stays in this house and how that silence upholds power structures

Closing out Black History month with another Black guest, myself woop woop. I didn't even realize I did that this month but I'm glad it happened this way. I discuss my own experiences with toxicity in relationships and how the inability to express emotions outside sex has been a challenge for me. I learned that my exertion of control through sex with partners is perhaps a trauma response over the safety of safely expressing emotions. The toxicity of this form of manipulation was neutralized through flat out being challenged by my Partner who called me out on it. This led me to realize that it isn't sex I want to control, it's the connection. I'm learning to let go of control by simply setting boundaries and trust that they'll be respected. This was a liberating discovery about myself and I thought it was worth sharing here, in my other safe vehicle of emotional expression, Something Positive for Positive People.

We gotta go bullet point style for this one! Diagnosed at age 24 with genital HSV, Ebony shares her experiences leading up to her diagnosis from her home life to intimate relationships. In this episode we talk: - Mental health in the Black home - Religion's value in the Black home vs mental health - Shame of sexuality leading to overt abusive behavior - How healing through the herpes community can occur This was a great conversation that provokes thoughts about how our beliefs shape our behaviors until they're challenged by reality.

We conclude Bliss' experience with her mental wellness challenges on part 2 of Something Positive People episode 171, Black Minds Matter. We discuss mistreatment for bipolar, how mental wellness for Bliss and myself as 2 people with blackness growing up, and here's a trigger warning for discussions of suicide. Something Positive for Positive People is a 501c3 Non Profit organization that connects people who are struggling with their herpes diagnosis to mental health, community support, and education resources in order to help them navigate the stigma. You can visit www.spfpp.org to donate today.

I'm joined for this 2 part episode of SPFPP by 27 year old Bliss, a Black woman who shares her experience being diagnosed with trichomoniasis and herpes simplex virus type 1 while in a relationship. After being unclear about what her initial symptoms were because of her health care provider's language, she thought she only had oral herpes. Ending part 1, we touch on her own mental health struggles including battling depression and suicide ideation.

The Dildo Duchess, Zoe Ligon, AKA Thongria, author of "Carnal Knowledge Sex Education You Didn't Get in School", joins Something Positive for Positive People opening up with a complete mind boggler for ya! She found out she had herpes from her boyfriend who she gave oral sex to while she had a coldsore. Yes everyone, coldsores can in fact cause herpes outbreaks, do you know why? Because coldsores are herpes. Zoe shares how she had terrible boundaries which were just no boundaries. We discuss how asking for what you want is interconnected with one's ability to say no. We talk through how to exercise boundaries and navigating an STI that you didn't get from sexual contact. Zoe can be found on Instagram at @thongria. She is also the Founder of @shopspectrumboutique, an online educational pleasure shop based in Detroit Michigan which you can also follow on Instagram. Zoe and her partner also host a podcast called Hot Brain which I will be an upcoming guest on, so follow that too! I'm on social media at @HOnMyChest.

Full disclaimer, this podcast was done as a result of where a conversation was heading after Mark heard me discussing Something Positive for Positive People with someone. He asked about it which lead to the conversation about his current relationship of several years with his girlfriend who has herpes and to this point, has not given it to him. This is a good episode to listen to if you are considering disclosing your condition to someone and would like the potential perspective from someone who's accepted someone and decided to move forward.,If you have recently been disclosed to and wonder what it's like to move forward, then this is also a good episode to listen to. This was being discussed and ten minutes into the convo, I asked Mark if he would be willing to continue the conversation on the podcast, he agreed and bam! Here we are. Excuse the pauses, umms and stutters as I was unable to prepare for this episode or prepare him for being on the show like I normally do. I just knew it had to be done and put our there right away. Episode 9 will still be released November 1. Follow the podcast on Instagram @CourtneyBrame. Please rate and review Something Positive for Positive People on iTunes and Stitcher! Stay Positive.

Disclosure disclosure disclosure! This is the most concerning piece of having a herpes diagnosis. With how 2020 went because of COVID, I think a lot of re-triggering occurred for majority of the population aware of their herpes status. The parallels of disclosing can be so similar between COVID and HSV, and they can be so different. We discuss this a little bit in this podcast episode with our guest, Amanda who has what I find to be the most simple, effective way of identifying whether someone is worth sharing your status with before deciding if you see things going somewhere physically that may put them at risk of contracting herpes.

You know what, sometimes we try to justify why someone won't have sex with us, or they only want to do so at their convenience or how they want to do it. It's hard to accept but sometimes their issue is in fact that we have herpes. That's okay, because that's their loss. Where it becomes an issue is when we begin to sacrifice our self-worth for the convenience of false connection.