Something Positive for Positive People

Malia shares her experience having taken advantage of the opportunity our donors provided for 12 people to have received 12 sessions of group therapy through Something Positive for Positive People. A major highlight here is how healing, through therapy at least is seen as a luxury, when it’s such a necessity. I’m validated in my recent thoughts that SPFPP ought to be MORE in a sense of expanding beyond therapy for people with herpes.I have a realistic vision for this to be a space where people positive and optimistic about their healing process can receive the support they need,. Healing WILL become more accessible through what we’ve built here.

How a person receives their diagnosis often reflects not only HOW, but even IF a person chooses to disclose their herpes status. Kelsey was diagnosed July 2020 with genital HSV1 and was only aware her outbreaks presented themselves internally because she advocated for herself. What presented as yeast infections actually turned out to be a herpes outbreak on her cervix. She fought for her health.

Hannah, who will have received her second shot is about to give dating a second shot! Having had HSV 4 years, she only disclosed to the guy she was seeing for those first 2, meaning she went 2 years without dating at all. She shares how therapy was supportive to her in being willing to put herself back out there after essentially feeling like when the relationship ended, she was diagnosed with HSV all over again.

Our guest shares her experience navigating narcissism in her family and partners. She shares her healing process having gone through quite a bit of sexual trauma (trigger warning). Therapy has supported her in being able to enter a healthy relationship, This episode does highlight the importance of support as well.

Jennifer completed our first cohort of SPFPP therapy sessions & shares what she got out of it. She’s also decided to get back with an ex. Social media emphasizes disconnecting from toxicity in relationships. What we don’t see is what neutralizing that toxicity looks like. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to implement boundaries with toxic people for healthier interactions when they can't be avoided. Follow up email from the guest and I have permission to share: Hey Courtney - Thanks again for the opportunity to share my experience in the herpes support group and my personal herpes story on your podcast. I will be honest: I was a little uncomfortable coming out of our talk on Wednesday night, because I didn’t expect to get so in depth talking about my relationship, especially knowing that this information will be heard by the whole inter webs! I know that my choice to start a relationship back up with my ex might be frowned upon or even the subject of ridicule, but I think it is important to reiterate that life, love, healing, everything — not one bit of it is linear - it is a fucking rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, and all of our rides might look a little different, and that’s ok. ️After sitting in my discomfort these past few days, I wanted to add something that came to mind this morning as I was further ruminating on our talk. Between you and I, I know we shared several discussions related to my relationship(s) that I am sure were less than positive. lol. But the thing about me, my past, my diagnosis, and now the full circle choice in starting my life again with my ex, is that my particular pattern in relationships (in general) was to “run…” I was a runner. Prior to my diagnosis, when things got hard / difficult / barely annoying in relationships, I bolted. I came from a family that idolized the mentality - “if something is broke, just throw it away and get something new / better.” So that’s how I handled all relationships. To make a very long story as short as possible, I wished I had the words during our interview to have said this: (**you said this to me during one of our talks last year that BLEW MY MIND**) My herpes diagnosis, in a way, saved me. IT GROUNDED MY ASS HARD. I had to - no, I was FORCED to - stop running. I had to sit with myself, my diagnosis, my pains, my failures, successes, loves, losses, everything. I looked deeply at the things I wanted, I re-evaluated my priorities, I was able to look at the people and things who were standing in front of me loving “a whole me” and the others who were just taking up space and who needed out. Through this, I found redemption for myself and for a boy who was growing up in front my eyes and wanted to be with me on newer terms, despite mistakes made. Lots of relationships go through heartbreak or struggle and couples get through it. For me, this last year has been a journey toward deep inner love for myself that allowed me to be present with my new, even BETTER self — HSV2 + and Fabulous. I KNOW the herpes support group further solidified my feelings of forgiveness, for myself and others, in that the herpes didn’t ruin my life, it brought me so much more into truly “ living “ than I have ever been. Thanks for your time in reading this. Hope to talk again soon. I would love to be a part of the behind the scenes, helping you and SPFPP in any way I can! Best, Jennifer

This episode comes with a trigger warning for childhood sexual assault. I interview my therapist I'd been working with throughout 2020 and a few months into 2021. It's amazing how when I put myself out there as a black man with herpes I was able to find someone with shared life experiences in a way we could support one another's healing. Rollon is a member of the LGBT+ community, disabled, HIV/HSV positive and is still out here wheelin and dealin! Like me, her turned his traumas into turning points for the healing of others.

I keep getting positive feedback from our group therapy sessions. Today's episode comes with a trigger warning as it references the 'villain' of a person. Our guest shares in her journey how she cheated, brought home herpes, and endured a relationship she should've left LONG ago out of guilt. We discuss how connection to the others in group therapy made her feel different than the social media support groups as they perpetuate venting and negativity, whereas therapy's emphasis on healing being the connecting point made her feel like she wasn't alone. Best described, she felt alone, but together.

Can you imagine not knowing if you have a condition that needs to be disclosed to those you may expose to it because your test won't tell you whether you're positive or negative? How do you navigate this!? Well, Rita describes her own experiences.

The intersection of overlapping identities intensifies the impacts of traumatic events. The impact of stigma on a white cis-gendered male has a significantly DIFFERENT impact than it would say an intersex black trans woman. You put one member of these overlapping identities in the same situation, and you have completely different possibilities for outcomes with minimal overlap. Mental health impacts COULD be the same, but statistics show the risk of violence for existing is something the former has minimal chances of experiencing. Today we can an inside look of the intersex, trans experience with my primary health care provider, simply because she’s given me my STI & HIV tests since 2019, Leigh.

We wrapped up our first cohort of SPFPP Group Therapy and Mya joins us to share how it helped her. When we look at support groups for people who've experienced a sexual trauma like an STI diagnosis, we aren't ever fully prepared for what can come up in those spaces in regard to other things not exclusively related to herpes. This episode comes with a trigger warning for sexual assault, as our guest felt comfortable sharing the details of healing from her own sexual trauma.