Dr. Dan Allender, a renowned psychologist and educator, discusses the pervasive impact of shame on our identity and relationships, drawing parallels with biblical stories. He explores the struggle of acknowledging past shame and the tension it creates. Allender emphasizes the need for open dialogue in parenting, advocating for a supportive environment that promotes healing and empathy in children. He also touches on the effects of sexual shame, offering insights from Brene Brown on vulnerability as a crucial element in emotional health.

This episode is a joint release of The Allender Center podcast and The Place We Find Ourselves. We have all experienced hurt, abandonment, or disappointment at the hands of our parents or caretakers, whether it was intentional or not. So much of our beauty and brokenness — so much of what makes us human — is tied to our family of origin. In today’s episode, Dan Allender and I discuss what it means to begin engaging the harm that we endured during our growing up years. Are we dishonoring our father and mother if we name the hurt we experienced growing up? Should we just “let it go?” If you want to learn more about how to engage your story in your family of origin, please join Dan and I for a 2 hour webinar on February 23, 2023. You can register here. Support the podcast

When author and therapist Dan Allender met Mark Driscoll in 1998, he hoped the two might share building space for their respective ministries. While conversations remained cordial, it didn't take long for Allender to realize he and Mark aimed to build entirely different institutions -- Allender, a school for healing and trauma care, and Mark, a faith community with the aspirations of Babel. Narcissism would keep the two from building on a common foundation.Thirty years later, Allender joins host Mike Cosper for an honest conversation about where that narcissism led and how Mars Hill Church and the city of Seattle suffered under its dogmatism. With incisive yet gentle wisdom, Allender opens the aperture beyond Mars Hill to discuss how trauma creates wounds on which narcissism thrives, how the numbness of anger can lead to isolation, and how the very real joy of spiritual connection can leave hurting people confused and ashamed after the structures they've trusted crumble.If you've experienced spiritual abuse or you desire deeper honesty and humility in ministry, this bonus episode offers a foundational conversation about how to face trauma, how to identify unhealthy leadership patterns, and how to resist the siren call of sin that lures Christians to greatness without cost.For more information about Dan Allender’s work, visit theallendercenter.org“The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill” is a production of Christianity TodayExecutive Producer: Erik PetrikProducer, Writer, Host, and Mix Engineer: Mike CosperEditor: Mark OwensAssociate Producers: Joy Beth Smith and Azurae PhelpsMusic and Sound Design: Kate SiefkerGraphic Design: Bryan ToddSocial Media: Kate LuckyEditor in Chief: Timothy Dalrymple Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel discuss the healing power of understanding your story, exploring the impact of family of origin on thoughts, feelings, and actions. They talk about being story bound and the struggle to overcome, unlocking memories and finding healing, the importance of seeking support, and the transformative power of understanding one's past. They also highlight the upcoming Story Work Conference where they will explore these topics further.

Dan Allender, an author and speaker specializing in the intersection of story, trauma, and faith, is joined by Cathy Loerzel, who collaborates with him in exploring story work. They delve into how our family origins shape our current thoughts and actions, emphasizing the healing power of understanding one’s personal narrative. Through personal anecdotes, they illustrate the transformative impact of self-reflection. They also promote an upcoming StoryWork conference in Atlanta, inviting listeners to engage in their healing journeys through storytelling.