148 The Healing Power of Understanding Your Story with Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel
Dec 11, 2023
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Dan Allender and Cathy Loerzel discuss the healing power of understanding your story, exploring the impact of family of origin on thoughts, feelings, and actions. They talk about being story bound and the struggle to overcome, unlocking memories and finding healing, the importance of seeking support, and the transformative power of understanding one's past. They also highlight the upcoming Story Work Conference where they will explore these topics further.
Our past traumas and experiences shape our present, often replaying themselves in triggering situations, but by recognizing these patterns and engaging with our own stories, we can find healing and break free from bondage.
Listening to our own stories is crucial for growth and healing, as our bodies hold valuable information about our experiences and emotions, and by paying attention to bodily sensations and emotional responses, we gain insight into unaddressed traumas and unmet needs.
Deep dives
Understanding the Power of Stories and Meaning-Making
Our efforts to come to meaning, rather than just mere facts, is a core part of being human. We make sense of the world through storytelling and seek to find meaning in our experiences. Stories bind us together, connecting us to one another and to ourselves. Our past traumas and experiences shape our present, often replaying themselves in triggering situations. By recognizing these patterns and engaging with our own stories, we can find healing and break free from bondage.
The Importance of Listening to Our Stories
Listening to our own stories is crucial for growth and healing. Our bodies hold valuable information about our experiences and emotions. By paying attention to bodily sensations and emotional responses, we gain insight into unaddressed traumas and unmet needs. Such listening requires curiosity, kindness, and the willingness to feel discomfort. Engaging with our stories and being witnessed by empathetic guides or therapists creates space for healing and transformation.
Revisiting and Reparenting Our Past Selves
To tend to the parts of ourselves that were left behind and in need of healing, we must revisit our past experiences with care and curiosity. These unaddressed wounds from childhood are often buried deep within us, but they continue to affect our present lives. By retracing our steps, we can uncover forgotten memories, feelings, and emotions, allowing us to reintegrate fragmented parts of ourselves. Reparenting ourselves and seeking support from a community or therapist enables us to heal and experience love, goodness, and kindness in fresh ways.
Finding Freedom and Redemption in Engaging Our Stories
Engaging with our stories, no matter how painful, opens the door to healing, freedom, and redemption. It is an ongoing process that requires time, vulnerability, and a willingness to face difficult emotions. Engaging our stories allows us to dig deeper, challenging our perceptions, and transforming our narratives. The presence and guidance of compassionate witnesses, whether therapists or loved ones, plays a significant role in this journey. By listening to our stories, we can move beyond bondage and experience new possibilities for growth, connection, and co-creation of our lives.
You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, “It is time to listen to your story.” What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on—and engaging—the experiences in your growing up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. These are the topics that Dan, Cathy, and I explore in today’s episode. If you want to experience more of the healing power of understanding your own story, join the three of us in Atlanta, GA, on Saturday February 3, 2024, for the StoryWork Conference. The conference will be live streamed if you can’t make it to Atlanta. You can register by going to adamyoungcounseling.com. CEU’s are available for therapists.
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