The Place We Find Ourselves

Stephanie Duncan Smith joins me today to talk about her book, “Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway.” Topics covered include: Stephanie’s pregnancy losses, how she learned to think differently about her period (and her entire cycle), the importance of listening to our bodies, Stephanie’s struggle with hope, and (my favorite part) her morning shower ritual where she proclaims, “I am beloved, I am baptized, and I am badass.”

Dr. Hillary McBride talks about her new book titled, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing. Topics covered include: our deep human need to belong, the inherent goodness of your heart (despite what you may have been told), how healing should not be defined as “something going away,” and the importance of witnessing your emotions and letting them unfold. Hillary and I are co-hosting the Spiritual Trauma conference on Saturday, June 7, 2025. You can learn more here.

Jay Stringer, an author and therapist specializing in the intersection of sexuality and personal stories, shares insightful perspectives on the connection between our past and present sexual experiences. He discusses how understanding family dynamics and childhood attachments can illuminate current sexual struggles. The conversation emphasizes the importance of compassion in addressing sexual challenges and the transformative potential of exploring personal narratives. Don't miss the chance to join the upcoming Sexual Attachment Conference to deepen your understanding.

In this engaging dialogue, psychologist and author Dan Allender interviews Adam Young about his thought-provoking new book, *Make Sense of Your Story*. They explore the power of storytelling and the kindness needed to engage with our pasts. Adam discusses how disorientation can reveal our deepest desires and the role of tears in healing. The conversation touches on navigating envy within family dynamics and the embodied truths that shape our narratives. They emphasize the transformative impact of sharing personal stories and the connections formed through vulnerability.

John Eldredge, the author of "Experience Jesus. Really," discusses the concept of being an 'ordinary mystic,' encouraging listeners to regularly experience the divine presence of God. He emphasizes that understanding isn't necessary to benefit from spiritual experiences, urging individuals to embrace their connection with Jesus, especially during difficult times. Eldredge also highlights the importance of turning toward God for healing, integrating fragmented parts of the heart, and nurturing emotional wounds through divine love.

I am joined today by my friend Gail Stucker who is a trauma-informed story coach. Gail generously shares a story about herself as an 8th grader. Topics we cover: taking your story seriously when you don’t believe you have any “capital T” trauma, longing for the delight of your parents, blessing your desire for delight as a good thing even though the unmet longing is agonizing, blessing anger at those who have harmed us, listening to the sensations in our bodies, and honoring what our hatred is telling us.

Dan Allender, an author and speaker specializing in the intersection of story, trauma, and faith, is joined by Cathy Loerzel, who collaborates with him in exploring story work. They delve into how our family origins shape our current thoughts and actions, emphasizing the healing power of understanding one’s personal narrative. Through personal anecdotes, they illustrate the transformative impact of self-reflection. They also promote an upcoming StoryWork conference in Atlanta, inviting listeners to engage in their healing journeys through storytelling.

I am joined today by Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Steve Call to talk about the complexities of marriage relationships. Dan and Steve recently co-authored a book titled, “The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight.” If you are committed to the growth of yourself and your spouse, marriage will be hard. Today, Dan and Steve talk about how the look and feel of our present marriages are tied to each partner’s past story. We also discuss stuckness, shame, neurons, and blessing/cursing.

Explore the roots of avoidant and ambivalent attachment styles, discovered through childhood experiences with caregivers. Learn how these patterns manifest in adulthood, affecting relationship dynamics and emotional expressions. The discussion reveals the profound impact attachment styles have on interpersonal relationships, making the exploration both insightful and relatable.

Discover how our individual lives are deeply intertwined with collective cultural stories. The conversation highlights the necessity of acknowledging both the glory and the sins in our historical narratives. It addresses the profound impact of past injustices, particularly regarding Native Americans and the legacy of slavery. The discussion urges a collective healing process, recognizing racial trauma, and confronting systemic issues like white supremacy. Emphasizing honesty and care, it explores the importance of understanding our shared histories for healing and growth.