The Place We Find Ourselves 166 Why Your Marriage Feels The Way It Does
Dec 16, 2024
Join Dr. Steve Call, a clinical therapist and author focusing on marriage and attachment, and Dr. Dan Allender, an expert on trauma and storytelling, as they delve into the intricate dynamics of marital relationships. They explore how past experiences shape current intimacy and stuckness, emphasizing the importance of compassion for personal histories. With insights on navigating conflict and understanding shared traumas, they discuss the delicate balance between blessing and cursing in marriage, highlighting the transformative power of mutual support.
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Past Stories Shape Present Marriages
- Our marriage patterns are often rooted in our family-of-origin stories and unseen trauma.
- Awareness of those origins brings compassion and clarity to why a marriage feels the way it does.
Use Curiosity To Get Unstuck
- Cultivate curiosity about what is being triggered instead of blaming your partner.
- Ask gentle questions like "What's happening for you?" to become unstuck from reenactment loops.
Attunement Trauma Creates Shame Wiring
- Attunement trauma is a turning away that signals "you don't matter" and creates deep shame.
- Chronic misattunement in caregiving relationships wires shame narratives that resurface in marriage.
