I am joined today by therapist and friend Reid Zeller who shares a story about egging cars when he was 16. Behind every story is a backstory. The backstory includes the nature of the environment we grew up in. When religious or spiritual expectations are placed on the shoulders of a child, pressure builds within that child. And when that pressure inevitably leads to a bursting, what results is always a mixture of dignity and depravity. Both. If the podcast has been helpful to you, please consider supporting it financially. 

The discussion reveals the 'Big Six' essential needs children have from parents, including attunement and emotional engagement. Personal stories highlight the impact of these needs and the importance of parental responsiveness during tough times, such as bullying. Emotional safety is emphasized as crucial for healthy relationships. The speaker shares a touching journey of healing and repairing emotional ties with their own parents, illustrating the long-lasting effects of these dynamics on childhood development.

Discover how your childhood attachment experiences shape emotional regulation in adulthood. The podcast dives into the neuroscience behind attachment, highlighting the vital role caregivers play in developing emotional resilience. Learn about neural connectivity and how it influences affect regulation, showcasing the impact of myelination on emotional well-being. Gain insights into the importance of secure attachment for self-regulation and seeking help from others. This conversation sheds light on the connections between our past and present emotions.

This episode is for people who experience emotional pain but feel like “nothing that bad happened to me growing up. I had a pretty good childhood.” As it says in Jeremiah 6, it is very common to dress our wounds as though they are not serious. One way we tend to minimize our wounds is by comparing our story to someone else who “had it worse.” Another way we minimize our wounds is by spiritualizing away the harmful experiences we endured with sentences like, “God used that terrible experience to shape my character.” What is keeping you from having compassion for the harm you experienced as a boy or a girl? If the podcast has been helpful to you, please consider supporting it financially here.

When I began exploring my story, five objections kept coming up for me. These objections kept me stuck. In today’s episode, I respond to each of the five objections. Objection 1: I should focus on the present and the future, not "dwell on the past.” Objection 2: Looking at my story is self-indulgent, introspective navel gazing; I should be focused on God and others rather than focused on myself. Objection 3: Who am I to judge my parents? Jesus says "do not judge.” Besides, I don't want to blame my parents. Objection 4: There's no point in looking at how my parents hurt me because they did the best they could. Objection 5: I can't change what's already happened, so what's the point of looking at the past?

Delve into the healing power of your own story and its profound effects on brain health. Through personal narratives, particularly those of heartache, listeners discover how these experiences shape their identity. Explore the significance of vivid childhood memories and how they reveal deeper emotional truths. Learn about the connection between engaging with personal stories and neuroplasticity, showcasing how our life narratives can lead to transformative change in perceptions and relationships.

Author J.S. Park discusses the complexity of grief and loneliness, highlighting the importance of letting in pain and the struggles of feeling unseen. The episode explores societal norms around grief, coping mechanisms, cultural perspectives, and the advocacy for genuine connections.

Author Jay Stringer discusses the link between past experiences and current sexual struggles, emphasizing the importance of understanding one's sexual story. The podcast explores the impact of trauma, lack of sexual education, and societal norms on sexuality. It also delves into the connection between attachment, past traumas, and cultural influences on sexual relationships.

I am joined today by Dr. Hillary McBride to discuss excerpts from her new book titled, “Practices for Embodied Living.” Topics covered include: how to feel your feelings, being alive in your body (eroticism), and the story of your relationship to your sensuality and sexuality. Finally, I ask Hillary about her beautiful claim that we often find the Holy precisely in the places we were told not to look (including in our bodies).  

Pastor and counselor Mike Boland shares a story from when he was 15 years old. It’s a story about the interplay of longing for connection and, at the same time, dreading what will be required of him in return. We talk about grooming, and the war of ambivalence that rages in one’s body in the midst of abuse. You can find out more about Mike’s work at therestinitiative.org.