The Place We Find Ourselves 159 Revisiting the Big Six: What You Needed from Your Parents
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Jul 15, 2024 The discussion reveals the 'Big Six' essential needs children have from parents, including attunement and emotional engagement. Personal stories highlight the impact of these needs and the importance of parental responsiveness during tough times, such as bullying. Emotional safety is emphasized as crucial for healthy relationships. The speaker shares a touching journey of healing and repairing emotional ties with their own parents, illustrating the long-lasting effects of these dynamics on childhood development.
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Attunement: Feeling Felt
- Attunement is a parent's ability to understand a child's emotional state.
- Children need to feel felt and understood by their parents.
The Pool Incident
- Adam Young recalls feeling hurt when his dad didn't realize how much he wanted to swim in a friend's pool.
- The lack of attunement, not missing the swimming, was the most devastating part.
Responsiveness: Responding to Distress
- Responsiveness is how parents act on a child's emotional state after recognizing it.
- Children need their parents to respond with comfort, care, and kindness to distress.