037 How to Find The Best of You, and Discover Yourself In God (with Dr. Alison Cook)
Oct 4, 2022
34:29
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Quick takeaways
Developing a healthy sense of self involves finding a balance between selfishness and selflessness, honoring our desires while considering the needs of others.
Childhood trauma, cultural messages, and certain personality traits can lead to a loss of self, but by exploring our emotions and experiences, we can identify the root causes and begin the healing process.
Deep dives
Developing a Sense of Selfhood: Navigating Between Selfishness and Selflessness
Dr. Allison Cook discusses the importance of developing a deep connection to our own sense of self while also trusting in God. She emphasizes the need to strike a balance between being selfish and being selfless. Cook encourages individuals to honor their desires and needs without disregarding the needs of others. By understanding our own needs and preferences, we can cultivate healthier relationships and avoid burnout or codependency. Cook draws on Jesus' example, highlighting that he had a strong sense of self and asserted his opinions while also demonstrating care for others.
Understanding Painful Patterns and Childhood Wounds
Dr. Cook explores the connection between childhood trauma, neglect, and the development of painful patterns in adulthood. She identifies three factors that contribute to the loss of a sense of self: childhood trauma, cultural messages about selflessness, and certain personality traits. Cook emphasizes the importance of becoming curious about our own behaviors and habits, and how they may relate to past wounds. By exploring our emotions and experiences with a discerning lens, we can identify the root causes of our reactions, set healthy boundaries, and begin the healing process.
Balancing Facts, Feelings, and Faith for Transformational Truth
Cook highlights the significance of integrating facts, feelings, and faith to cultivate transformational truth. She emphasizes the importance of honoring and validating our emotions while also examining the facts of a situation. By carefully discerning the root causes of our emotions, we can interpret them in a healthier context. The goal is to find a balance between self-expression and self-control, avoiding extremes of disregarding our feelings or impulsively acting based on emotions alone. Cook suggests that this balanced approach allows for emotional and spiritual maturity, fostering healthier relationships with oneself, others, and God.
Is there something between being SELFISH and SELFLESS? Between CODEPENDENCY and total INDEPENDENCY? How do I stop painful patterns in my life? How can we mend the past and life in the present? And how can I make joyful connect with others, God, and myself.