The Mel Robbins Podcast

New Research: The Surprising Psychology Behind the Secrets Everyone Keeps & What Your Secrets Say About You

Aug 31, 2023
Dr. Michael Slepian, a bestselling author and psychologist, dives into the intriguing world of secrets and their psychological impacts. He reveals that you likely hold 13 secrets, five of which you haven’t told anyone. The discussion uncovers the significant emotional weight of secrecy and how it can harm relationships and self-esteem. Learn the crucial difference between privacy and secrecy, and why sharing your burdens can lead to liberation. Insights into childhood secrecy add depth to understanding personal connections and emotional health.
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ANECDOTE

A Family Secret

  • Michael Slepian's father revealed he wasn't his biological father.
  • This revelation, prompted by Slepian's research, highlighted the burden of secrets.
INSIGHT

The Weight of Secrets

  • Secrets feel like a physical burden, impacting our perception of challenges.
  • Thinking about secrets makes tasks seem harder, like hills steeper or distances farther.
INSIGHT

Common Secrets

  • The most common secrets revolve around lies, romantic desires, finances, and sexual behavior.
  • 'Extrarelational thoughts', or romantic thoughts about someone other than one's partner, are also common.
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