536- Motherhood, ADHD & the Impossible Burden: Balancing the Invisible Load of Work & Family
Jan 8, 2025
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Join Terry Matlen, a seasoned psychotherapist and author specializing in ADHD support for women, as she discusses the intricate challenges of motherhood with ADHD. She shares personal insights on the societal pressures faced by moms and outlines practical strategies to manage the overwhelming 'invisible load' of parenting. Terry emphasizes the importance of community support, self-care, and reframing negative perceptions while navigating daily responsibilities. The conversation is filled with inspiration and resources for moms seeking balance in their chaotic lives.
Mothers with ADHD often face overwhelming societal expectations that intensify feelings of inadequacy and burnout in balancing family and work responsibilities.
Reframing ADHD traits positively enables mothers to cultivate self-acceptance and utilize their unique strengths in family interactions and daily challenges.
Deep dives
Navigating Societal Expectations
Mothers with ADHD face immense societal expectations to be perfect caregivers and homemakers while managing careers. These expectations often lead to feelings of overwhelm, especially for those struggling with organizational and time management issues. The pressure to prioritize family needs over their own can lead to burnout and a sense of inadequacy. Acknowledging these societal pressures and the unique challenges they pose is essential for understanding the struggle faced by mothers with ADHD.
Executive Functioning Challenges
Impaired executive functioning is a core challenge for mothers with ADHD, affecting their ability to manage daily tasks and routines. This impairment can manifest in difficulties with planning, decision-making, and emotional regulation, complicating responsibilities such as meal preparation and household management. The struggle to maintain organization and prioritize tasks can result in a sense of chaos and frustration. Recognizing these challenges as part of ADHD helps to reframe negative self-perceptions and create more effective coping strategies.
Reframing ADHD Traits
It is crucial to reframe how ADHD traits are perceived, shifting from negative notions to understanding their potential advantages. For instance, hyperactivity may be seen as energy, while impulsivity can be redirected into creative play and spontaneity. By acknowledging that ADHD is a medical condition rather than a character flaw, mothers can develop a more compassionate self-view. This reframing allows for better self-acceptance and the capacity to harness ADHD traits positively in family life.
Building Supportive Family Dynamics
Creating an environment that fosters open communication and problem-solving is vital for families dealing with ADHD. Family meetings can facilitate discussions about challenges and achievements, emphasizing strengths rather than weaknesses. Using visual aids and clear expectations can help children with ADHD understand their responsibilities, decreasing conflict and confusion. Encouraging humor and shared activities can also strengthen bonds and foster resilience in managing the unique challenges that come with ADHD.
If you’re a mom with ADHD, and you feel overwhelmed by the daily chaos of getting kids off to school, managing clutter, planning meals, and more, join Terry Matlen for explanations, inspiration, and plenty of practical strategies.
Thank you for listening to ADDitude's ADHD Experts podcast. Please consider subscribing to the magazine (additu.de/subscribe) to support our mission of providing ADHD education and support.
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