The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

#219 Logan Ury: The Dating Myths You Need to Stop Believing

1028 snips

Mar 18, 2025

Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist and the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, dives into the world of modern dating. She challenges common myths about attraction, advocating for genuine connection over the elusive 'spark.' Logan introduces the 'post-date eight' for reflecting on new connections and emphasizes emotional compatibility over superficial traits. The conversation touches on attachment theory, effective communication, and even polyamory, providing fresh insights for anyone seeking meaningful relationships.

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ADVICE

Lower First Date Pressure

Approach first dates as opportunities to have fun and connect with someone new.
Focus on enjoying the experience rather than evaluating the person's long-term potential.

INSIGHT

Spark vs. Slow Burn

The "spark" in dating can be misleading, as it can stem from anxiety or a person's general demeanor rather than genuine connection.
Consider the "slow burn," where attraction grows over time, as a viable alternative to the spark.

ADVICE

Post-Date Eight

Use the "post-date eight" questions to reflect on how the date made you feel.
This helps assess potential slow burns and avoid immediate dismissal based on lack of initial spark.

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