In this book, Sapolsky delves into the complex interplay of biological processes, including neuroscience, genetics, and hormones, to explain why humans behave in various ways. He examines behavior on multiple time scales, from the immediate neural responses to actions that occur over centuries and millennia. The book addresses topics such as tribalism, xenophobia, hierarchy, competition, morality, and free will, providing a nuanced and multifaceted understanding of human behavior. Sapolsky's approach integrates cutting-edge research across several disciplines to offer insights into the biological basis of human actions, both good and bad.
In '8 Rules of Love', Jay Shetty provides a comprehensive guide to navigating the complexities of love and relationships. Drawing from ancient Vedic wisdom and modern science, Shetty outlines eight rules to help readers cultivate love in all its forms. The book is structured around four stages of love: solitude (preparing for love), compatibility (practicing love), healing (protecting love), and connection (perfecting love). Shetty emphasizes the importance of self-love, compassion, empathy, and growth in relationships, and offers practical advice on how to avoid false promises and unfulfilling partners. The book includes insights on defining love, managing conflicts, and dealing with breakups, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking to improve their understanding and practice of love.
You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.
Today, I am talking to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, Professor Emerita of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and the Founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is an author of several books including Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving A Relationship with a Narcissist, and “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. The focus of Dr. Durvasula’s clinical, academic and consultative work is the etiology and impact of narcissism and high-conflict, entitled, antagonistic personality styles on human relationships, mental health, and societal expectations.
Dr. Ramani shares her studies about narcissism and our narcissistic tendencies. She and I talk about how our personalities define how we act with people and around people, why narcissists are resistant to change and to how deal with one, the truth about gaslighting and why it is so unhealthy to the person at the receiving end, and why we shouldn't misplace our hopes in others and instead place it on ourselves.
What We Discuss:
- 00:00:00 Intro
- 00:03:11 When did narcissism become a study of focus?
- 00:07:06 Narcissism is a very quiet condition
- 00:12:45 Awareness and discomfort
- 00:19:37 How do people end up with a narcissistic personality?
- 00:26:25 Narcissists can be very attractive
- 00:33:26 The concept of multiple truths
- 00:36:40 Love bombing
- 00:41:08 The real meaning of gaslighting
- 00:47:05 Dealing with a gaslighter
- 00:53:35 “I can change this person.”
- 01:00:07 Ultimate healing from a narcissistic relationship
- 01:04:31 Setting healthy boundaries
- 01:06:49 Adopting narcissistic patterns to be able to fight back
- 01:09:20 Misplaced hope
Episode Resources
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty 
