490- Sandwich Generation Stress: How to Manage ADHD in Yourself, Your Children, and Your Elderly Parents
Feb 20, 2024
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Danna McDonald, RMFT-SQ, RSW shares strategies for managing ADHD in the sandwich generation, discussing self-compassion, generational perspectives, emotional challenges, and family dynamics. Explore practical tips for navigating the complexities of caregiving for children with ADHD and elderly parents.
Caregivers in the 'sandwich generation' face added demands and stress when managing ADHD in themselves, their children, and their aging parents.
Self-compassion is crucial in managing the demands of being the jam in the sandwich, reducing shame, depression symptoms, and increasing determination.
Creating a household environment that promotes emotional control through understanding, validation, and open communication can help reduce tension and improve relationships.
Deep dives
Challenges of being the jam in the sandwich
Being the primary caregiver for both neurodivergent children and neurodivergent parents can be overwhelming and emotionally challenging. Balancing the needs of multiple generations and dealing with conflicts, different beliefs, and executive function challenges can lead to stress and emotional dysregulation. The added pressure and negative self-talk that individuals with ADHD may experience can further exacerbate the situation. It is important to recognize that these challenges are not unique and that many individuals are going through similar struggles.
The power of self-compassion
Self-compassion is a valuable tool in managing the demands of being the jam in the sandwich. It involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, just as one would treat a friend. This approach helps counter negative self-talk and fosters acceptance of one's own limitations and mistakes. Research shows that self-compassion reduces shame, depression symptoms, and increases determination. By practicing self-compassion, individuals can develop a more positive relationship with themselves and navigate the multi-generational challenges of ADHD with greater resilience.
Strategies for fostering emotional control in the household
Creating a household environment that promotes emotional control can help reduce tension and improve relationships. This involves being curious about oneself and family members, understanding individual hotspots and optimizing daily routines accordingly. Play-based methods and visual reminders can be effective tools in teaching emotional regulation, particularly for children. Practicing validation, using supportive language, and reframing ADHD symptoms as neurological conditions rather than character flaws can also help mend relationships and decrease conflict. Building awareness, empathy, and open communication are key to nurturing a harmonious and understanding environment for all family members.
Support and Acceptance of ADHD
In this podcast episode, the speaker emphasizes the importance of support and acceptance when dealing with ADHD. They highlight the need to be compassionate towards oneself and to bring in tools or supports, such as organizational techniques or resources from websites like Attitude, to mitigate the challenges of ADHD. Accepting the reality of one's situation and being honest about what can and cannot be changed is another crucial strategy discussed.
Utilizing Supports and Setting Boundaries
The podcast also highlights the importance of utilizing support systems and setting boundaries for individuals with ADHD and their families. The speaker acknowledges that this may vary depending on resources, location, and cultural expectations. They encourage seeking out supportive individuals or communities, both online and offline, and emphasize the significance of self-care as a part of utilizing supports. The speaker also discusses the challenges of setting boundaries, especially for individuals with ADHD who may struggle with emotional regulation, and provides strategies for assertively communicating and protecting personal boundaries.
Caregivers in the "sandwich generation" face added demands and stress when managing ADHD in themselves, their children, and their aging parents. Danna McDonald, RMFT-SQ, RSW, shares strategies to address these challenges.
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