The Relationship Therapist: "This Statistically Is The Best Age To Get Married So You Don't Get A Divorce!", "Men Should Not Split The Bill", "80% Of Women Want Men Over 6ft When Only 15% Are 6ft!"

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Mar 11, 2024

Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist and bestselling author known for her insights on relationships, joins the conversation to share vital truths about love and partnership. She discusses the statistically ideal age to marry to reduce divorce risks and why men should typically cover the bill on dates. Lori also emphasizes that many women prefer partners over six feet tall, contrasting with the actual statistics. The conversation digs deep into unrealistic dating expectations and the impacts of modern loneliness, making it a must-listen for anyone navigating relationships.

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INSIGHT

The Importance of Being Understood

People deeply yearn to be understood, which reduces loneliness.
This desire stems from shared history and experiences, often lacking in modern society.

ADVICE

Focus on Character

Prioritize character qualities like flexibility and emotional generosity in a partner.
These traits predict long-term relationship success more than superficial qualities.

ANECDOTE

Petty Dealbreakers

Steven Bartlett shares how a friend rejected a dating profile due to boxes on a cupboard.
This highlights the petty reasons people dismiss potential partners on dating apps.

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Marry him

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

Lori Gottlieb

In Marry Him, Lori Gottlieb explores the dilemma many women face in reconciling their desire for a husband and family with overly complicated lists of must-haves and deal-breakers. Gottlieb shares her own journey in search of romantic fulfillment, gathering insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy. The book emphasizes the importance of focusing on qualities like kindness, values, compatibility, empathy, and communication over superficial traits.

The paradox of choice

Why More Is Less

Barry Schwartz

In 'The Paradox of Choice,' Barry Schwartz argues that the abundance of choices in modern Western society, while seemingly beneficial, can actually be detrimental to our psychological and emotional well-being. He explains how the explosion in choices, from mundane decisions like buying jeans to profound challenges like balancing career and family, has paradoxically become a problem rather than a solution. Schwartz synthesizes current research in social sciences to make the counterintuitive case that eliminating choices can reduce stress, anxiety, and busyness. He offers practical steps to limit choices, focus on important ones, and derive greater satisfaction from decision-making. The book also introduces the concepts of 'maximizers' and 'satisficers,' highlighting the differences in their decision-making processes and outcomes.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Lori Gottlieb

In 'Maybe You Should Talk to Someone,' Lori Gottlieb presents a dual narrative where she recounts her experiences as a psychotherapist working with various patients and as a patient herself, seeking therapy after a sudden and devastating breakup. The book introduces several patients, including a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with terminal cancer, a senior citizen contemplating ending her life, and a young woman struggling with alcoholism and poor relationship choices. Through these stories, Gottlieb sheds light on the therapeutic process, highlighting the complexities of human emotions, the importance of connection, and the universal quest for meaning and inner reconciliation. The book is known for its candid and humorous approach, offering insights into the human condition and the transformative power of therapy.