ParentData with Emily Oster Self-Care without Candles: Redefining wellness for parents
9 snips
Nov 30, 2023 
Psychiatrist Dr. Pooja Lakshmin critiques the performative and superficial nature of self-care, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and achieving long-term well-being. They discuss redefining wellness beyond spa days and scented candles, and explore the impact of births on marital satisfaction. The chapter also delves into the challenges of breastfeeding and the need to recognize alternative options for nourishing oneself. Additionally, they emphasize the importance of not falling for panic-inducing headlines and analyzing the limited significance of a study on excessive television viewing in young children.
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Real Self-Care Vs. Quick Fixes
- Real self-care is distinct from quick fixes sold by the wellness industry and requires principles and deliberate choices.
- Pooja Lakshmin argues long-term structure and values matter more than one-off methods like baths or supplements.
Systemic Causes Fuel Self-Care Demand
- Structural social problems (paid leave, childcare, healthcare) drive much of parenting stress and can't be solved by individual self-care products.
- The wellness industry profits by selling seductive, immediate solutions that bypass systemic fixes.
Use The Pause As A Boundary
- Pause before responding to requests and then choose to say yes, no, or negotiate.
- Use the pause as a boundary tool so you decide what to prioritize rather than reacting immediately.