31. Answering Your Sex Questions with Emily Nagoski

Sep 30, 2021

Emily Nagoski, a celebrated author and sex educator, tackles listener questions about intimacy and sexuality. She shares strategies for navigating mismatched sex drives between partners and introduces the 'sleepy hedgehog' practice to reconnect. Emily emphasizes raising kids within a sex-positive culture and discusses exercises to help open up communication around intimacy. With her expertise, she empowers listeners to embrace their bodies and foster healthier relationships.

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ADVICE

Navigating Different Sex Drives

Identify what you want from sex and what you like during sex.
Communicate your needs and feelings clearly with your partner.

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ADVICE

Communicating Needs

Get specific about your feelings and needs.
Approach conversations with your partner without blame or judgment.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Sleepy Hedgehog Metaphor

The "sleepy hedgehog" metaphor represents difficult feelings.
Gently address these feelings and communicate their needs to your partner.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Navigating Intimacy and Communication

01:58 • 9min

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Navigating Sexual Desire and Intimacy in Perimenopause

10:36 • 5min

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Navigating Emotional Support in Intimacy

15:38 • 8min

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Navigating the Conversation About Sex with Children

24:06 • 3min

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Empowering Conversations in Sexual Education

27:21 • 11min

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Navigating Conversations on Sexuality and Empowerment

38:11 • 5min

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Exploring the Value of Silence and Noise

42:45 • 2min

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Enhancing Relationship Intimacy Through Communication

This book is designed for children from preschool to age eight, offering an inclusive explanation of how babies are made. It accommodates various family structures and reproductive methods, ensuring that all children can relate to the story. The narrative avoids gendering people or body parts, allowing parents to share their child's specific story without erasing their own experiences.

Sex is a funny word

Cory Silverberg

Sex Is a Funny Word is an essential resource for children aged 8 to 10 and their caregivers. It uses comics, open-ended questions, and diverse characters to explore topics like bodies, gender, and sexuality in an inclusive manner. The book encourages discussions about boundaries, safety, and joy, making it a valuable tool for modern sex education.

Girls and Sex

Peggy Orenstein

Come as you are

the surprising new science that will transform your sex life

Emily Nagoski

Blanca González Villegas

In 'Come as You Are', Emily Nagoski and Blanca González Villegas delve into the latest scientific research on human sexuality, offering insights and practical advice to improve sexual well-being. The book addresses various aspects of sex, including desire, arousal, and the complexities of sexual response, aiming to help readers understand and enhance their sexual experiences.

Burnout

The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

Emily Nagoski

Amelia Nagoski

This book, written by sisters Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. , and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, delves into the specific challenges women encounter with burnout. It provides a comprehensive, science-based approach to reducing stress and enhancing well-being. The authors define burnout as a combination of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a decreased sense of accomplishment, and they offer practical solutions such as completing the biological stress cycle, managing emotional triggers, and overcoming societal pressures. The book is divided into sections that explain the stress cycle, the impact of cultural norms on women's stress levels, and strategies for rest, human connection, and self-compassion. It includes helpful worksheets and exercises to empower women to combat burnout and achieve genuine wellness.

Let's Talk about Love

A Journey to the End of Taste

Carl Wilson

This book, part of the 33⅓ series, is not just a critique of Celine Dion's album but an exploration of what it means to have 'taste' in music. Wilson examines his own biases and the broader cultural context, drawing on theorists like Pierre Bourdieu, Immanuel Kant, and others. The book questions elitist cultural biases and the status-seeking inherent in expressions of taste, making it a significant study of pop criticism and aesthetic models.

Fun Home

A Family Tragicomic

Alison Bechdel

Published in 2006, 'Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic' is a graphic memoir by Alison Bechdel that recounts her upbringing in a funeral home in rural Pennsylvania. The book focuses on Bechdel's fraught relationship with her father, Bruce, a closeted gay man and high school English teacher who also worked as a part-time mortician. The narrative is non-linear, using literary and mythological allusions to explore themes of sexual orientation, gender roles, family dysfunction, and the impact of secrets on family life. Bechdel's meticulous artwork and essayistic writing style combine to create a powerful and intimate portrayal of her childhood and her attempts to understand her father and herself.

The Come as You Are Workbook

Emily Nagoski

The Come as You Are Workbook is a companion to Emily Nagoski's bestselling book 'Come As You Are'. It provides practical tips, worksheets, journaling prompts, and diagrams to help individuals apply the book's research on female sexuality to their everyday lives. The workbook aims to transform one's sex life by focusing on central factors like stress, mood, trust, and body image.

The Times I Knew I Was Gay

Eleanor Crewes

This graphic memoir by Eleanor Crewes is a heartwarming and humorous account of her journey to self-discovery and acceptance of her queer identity. It explores themes of identity, belonging, and the process of coming out, offering a relatable and uplifting narrative for readers. The book is praised for its accessible storytelling and vibrant illustrations, making it a compelling read for anyone exploring themes of identity and self-acceptance.

Wait, What?

A Comic Book Guide to Relationships, Bodies, and Growing Up

Heather Corinna

Isabella Rotman

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We’re back with author and sex educator, Emily Nagoski, taking our Pod Squad’s questions about sex.

1. How to navigate a relationship when one partner has a lower sex drive and the other has a higher sex drive.

2. The “sleepy hedgehog” practice Emily suggests to help partners find their way back to each other after months (or years) of not having sex.

3. How to raise our kids in a more sex-positive family culture.

4. Emily advises Glennon on an exercise to help unbind her bedroom silence.

EMILY NAGOSKI is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling COME AS YOU ARE and THE COME AS YOU ARE WORKBOOK, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller BURNOUT: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.

The book recommendations Emily made during this episode:

Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers by Peggy Kleinplatz

What Fresh Hell Is This? by Heather Corinna

Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel (Ages 15+ years)

The Times I Knew I Was Gay by Eleanor Crewes (Ages 15+ years)

Let’s Talk About It by Erica Moen and Matt Nolan (Ages 14+ years)

Queer: The Ultimate LQBTQ Guide for Teens (Ages 11+ years)

Wait, What? by Heather Corinna and Isabella Rotman (Ages 9+ years)

Sex Is a Funny Word by Cory Silverberg (Ages 8 - 11 years)

What Makes a Baby by Cory Silverberg (Ages 2 - 5 years)

Podcast: https://www.feministsurvivalproject.com

Instagram: @enagoski

Twitter: @emilynagoski

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