The Surprising Science Behind Building Stronger Relationships

94 snips

Jun 6, 2022

Eric Barker, author of "Plays Well with Others," dives into the surprising science of relationships. He tackles the pitfalls of misreading emotions and the importance of clear communication. Barker reveals why friendships can bring immense joy, but ambivalent connections can harm us more than enemies. He discusses the challenges of modern marriage and the key to sustaining happiness: maintaining a positive perspective. With insights on vulnerability and trust, he shares practical advice for nurturing deeper connections.

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INSIGHT

Accuracy of First Impressions

First impressions are surprisingly accurate about 70% of the time regarding fundamental personality traits.
However, they are sticky, making it hard to change inaccurate perceptions.

ADVICE

Reading People

Improve reading others by making them more readable, not by enhancing reading skills.
Focus on creating contexts and conversations that encourage others to open up.

ADVICE

Managing First Impressions

Manage first impressions by presenting the best version of yourself for the context.
Consider different aspects of your personality and choose the most appropriate one.

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The All-or-Nothing Marriage

How the Best Marriages Work

Eli Finkel

In this book, Eli J. Finkel presents a groundbreaking investigation of marriage, showing that the best marriages today are superior to those of earlier eras. He combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice, discussing the evolution of marriage from providing basic needs like food and shelter to modern expectations of love, companionship, and personal growth. Finkel introduces 'lovehacks' and strategies for better communication and responsiveness, and offers guidance on recalibrating expectations. The book is designed for anyone looking to improve their marriage, from newlyweds to empty nesters, and those considering marriage or remarriage.

Plays Well with Others

The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong

Eric Barker

In 'Plays Well with Others,' Eric Barker challenges conventional wisdom about relationships by leveraging scientific research. The book explores various aspects of human relationships, including friendship, love, and community, and provides insights from notable researchers like Dr. John Gottman. Barker discusses how to build deeper friendships, avoid common pitfalls in romantic relationships, and cultivate meaningful connections. The book is filled with engaging stories and counterintuitive findings to help readers improve their social skills and relationships.

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong

Eric Barker

In 'Barking Up the Wrong Tree,' Eric Barker challenges common misconceptions about success by presenting both sides of various arguments. The book is divided into six chapters, each exploring dichotomous views on success, such as whether playing it safe or taking risks is more beneficial, whether nice guys finish first or last, and whether quitters never win or winners never quit. Barker draws on a wide range of examples, including stories from Navy SEALs, top comedians, and historical figures, to illustrate his points. He emphasizes the importance of factors like creativity, passion, obsession, and perseverance in achieving real-world success, rather than just following rules and achieving good grades.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie

First published in 1936, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide to improving interpersonal skills. The book is divided into four main sections: Six Ways to Make People Like You, Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie's principles emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others, active listening, and avoiding criticism and argument. The book offers practical advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and influence others by aligning their self-interest with yours. It has been a cornerstone of personal development and business success for generations[2][3][5].

The Surprising Science Behind Building Stronger Relationships

Accuracy of First Impressions

Reading People

Managing First Impressions

Resources Related to the Podcast

Connect With Eric Barker