Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab and Adam Grant discuss setting boundaries in personal and professional lives, dealing with saying 'no,' and the ultimate act of self-respect. They explore challenges of communicating boundaries, navigating conflicting boundaries in relationships, embracing rejection for personal growth, and the positive ripple effect of setting boundaries on individuals and relationships.
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Quick takeaways
Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and essential for well-being and self-care.
Personal policies and mindfulness play a crucial role in maintaining boundaries and improving mental health.
Deep dives
The Importance of Setting Personal Boundaries
In this podcast episode, Nedra Glover-Tawab, a therapist and author, shares her insights on setting boundaries in relationships. She emphasizes that boundaries are essential for our well-being and self-care. Nedra discusses the importance of understanding our own feelings and discomfort as indicators of where we need to set boundaries. She encourages individuals to communicate their boundaries, but also to be mindful of not imposing their boundaries on others. Nedra highlights the need for personal rules and policies to protect our mental space and capacity. She also addresses the challenges of navigating boundaries in different contexts, such as in relationships and at the workplace, and provides practical strategies for maintaining boundaries.
The Challenge of Expressing Boundaries Without Imposing on Others
Nedra explores the delicate balance of asserting boundaries without imposing them on others. She emphasizes the importance of self-responsibility and holding boundaries for oneself. Nedra shares her personal experiences with setting boundaries, particularly in relationships. She highlights the need for adjusting boundaries depending on the context and the other person involved. Nedra also discusses the role of personal policies and procedures in maintaining boundaries, emphasizing their positive impact on mental health and well-being.
Overcoming the Fear of Rejection When Establishing Boundaries
Nedra addresses the fear of rejection and its impact on asking for help or expressing boundaries. She explains that fearing rejection often prevents individuals from setting boundaries and seeking support. Nedra encourages self-reflection and therapy to explore the roots of this fear and offers insights on the importance of being honest and communicative in relationships. She highlights the need for honest, direct communication to foster healthier interactions and relationships, creating an environment where people can be authentic and respectful of one another's boundaries.
The Power of Personal Policies and Mindfulness in Boundary Setting
In this podcast episode, Nedra emphasizes the power of personal policies and mindfulness in boundary setting. She suggests that personal policies offer self-honoring practices that contribute to improved mental health. Nedra encourages individuals to reflect on their own emotions and feelings as guides for setting boundaries. She advocates for incorporating quiet moments of reflection and self-care, acknowledging that meditation or mindfulness can take different forms for different people. Nedra also addresses the challenges of navigating boundaries in positions of power and offers insights on proactive communication and establishing expectations around boundaries in work environments.
As a therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab has spent years helping people set boundaries in their personal and professional lives. As the New York Times bestselling author of the books “Drama Free” and “Set Boundaries, Find Peace,” her wisdom often goes viral on Instagram and beyond. Nedra sits down with Adam for an insightful discussion on why people struggle with creating boundaries, how we can deal with saying “no,” and why setting a boundary is the ultimate act of self-respect. Transcripts for ReThinking are available at go.ted.com/RWAGscripts
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