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The Tim Ferriss Show
#751: Elizabeth Gilbert and Jack Kornfield
Jul 2, 2024
Bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert and renowned meditation teacher Jack Kornfield discuss setting boundaries, mindfulness, overcoming childhood trauma, monastic life experiences, cultivating compassion, and finding inner peace through love and meditation practices.
03:08:14
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Quick takeaways
- Creative path involves trusting intuition, saying no with integrity checks.
- Body wisdom, 'No' wisdom and easing into Byron Katie's unique approach.
- Connection with paragliding highlights Jack Kornfield's adventurous spirit.
- Transitioning from pre-med to Asian studies shapes Tim's spiritual exploration.
- Loving kindness meditation fosters self-compassion and positive intentions.
- Initiation ceremonies and self-compassion rituals are keys to fulfilling personal growth.
Deep dives
Interest in Asian Studies and the Peace Corps
Exploring his fascination with Asian studies and philosophy, Tim's interest in spirituality was sparked while attending Dartmouth College. Transitioning from a pre-med track to Asian studies backdropped by the '60s culture and psychedelics, he pursued adventure and spiritual learning, subsequently leading to his involvement in the Peace Corps.
Psychedelic Experiences and Spiritual Awakening
Tim's psychedelic encounters, particularly with LSD, shaped his perspective on consciousness, freedom, and inner transformation. Influenced by the possibility of expanded awareness, his experience with psychedelics led to a shift towards spirituality, emphasizing the concept of stepping back and observing life's mysteries.
Importance of Set, Setting, and Intent in Psychedelic Use
Emphasizing the significance of intention and environment in psychedelic experiences, Tim highlights the potential for introspection, conscious awareness, and transformative insights when using substances like psilocybin. He underlines that mind-altering substances, when approached with intention and reverence, can facilitate deep personal growth and understanding.
Revisiting Stanislav Grof and the Progression into Psychology
Tim's encounter with Stanislav Grof in 1973 marked a pivotal moment in his journey into psychology. Grof's innovative approach to psychology, shaped by his experiences with altered states of consciousness, brought a new dimension to Tim's understanding of the mind and spiritual exploration.
Understanding Compassion and Loving Kindness Meditation
Loving kindness meditation is a practice that involves wishing well for oneself and others. It starts with visualizing loved ones, expressing wishes for their safety, happiness, and well-being. By extending these wishes to oneself, one cultivates self-compassion and kindness. This practice helps soften self-critical thoughts and enhances one's capacity for compassion and positive intentions towards oneself and others.
The Power of Compassion and Self-Forgiveness
Compassion is a transformative force that allows individuals to meet challenges with understanding and care. Through practices like loving kindness meditation, one can develop self-forgiveness and acceptance of imperfections. The nurturing of self-compassion and loving awareness softens self-criticism and critical inner dialogue, leading to a more compassionate and positive outlook.
Starting Mindfulness Practice for Busy Individuals
For busy individuals seeking to begin mindfulness practice, a simple and effective approach is to incorporate brief moments of loving kindness meditation. Even dedicating a couple of minutes before bedtime to wish well for oneself and loved ones can have profound effects on well-being and mental state. This practice helps shift focus from self-criticism to self-compassion, fostering inner peace and positive intentions.
The Transformative Power of Love and Compassion
Love and compassion are not weaknesses but formidable powers that can bring about positive change in individuals and society. Leading with love and compassion allows for the transformation of oneself and others. Practices like loving kindness meditation embody this power, fostering self-compassion, forgiveness, and a deep sense of interconnectedness and well-being.
A Program for Mindfulness and Loving Kindness Practice
An online program called Mindfulness Daily offers a 40-day course including mindfulness, loving awareness, and loving kindness practice, varying between 12 or 15 minutes per day. Completing this course helps in developing inner skills. Participants can follow up with the Power of Awareness program or explore online teacher training on sharing mindfulness and loving kindness.
Transformative Guided Meditations
Guided meditation programs available for download at a nominal cost provide practices including loving kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and potentially joy. These meditations assist in developing focus, especially beneficial in a world with device distractions. The practice of short daily sessions can lead to behavioral and emotional transformations by starting with manageable steps.
Practice of Mindful Self-Compassion
The importance of self-compassion and deep self-understanding is highlighted for managing self-criticism, shame, and judgmental thoughts. Encouraging a gentle approach towards one's struggles and vulnerabilities is recommended, focusing on holding oneself with tenderness and acknowledging one's humanity. Recognizing past coping mechanisms with kindness and transitioning to self-kindness are emphasized.
Initiation, Rituals, and Self-Reflection
The significance of initiation ceremonies and rituals for personal growth and societal connection is discussed. Initiations, often lacking in modern culture, aid individuals in transition and self-discovery. Such rites help in recognizing one's unique journey, exploring personal transformations, and fostering compassion towards oneself and others for a more fulfilling life.
Billboard Message: Fostering Self-Love for a Better World
A suggested billboard message emphasizes the inquiry of 'How could I love myself better?' as a profound self-reflection question. Encouraging self-love to enhance compassion towards oneself and the world aims to spark introspection, self-care, and a positive transformation of one's relationships and contributions to the collective good.
This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #430 "Elizabeth Gilbert’s Creative Path: Saying No, Trusting Your Intuition, Index Cards, Integrity Checks, Grief, Awe, and Much More" and episode #300 "Jack Kornfield — Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy in the Present."
Please enjoy!
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Timestamps:
[00:00] Start
[05:36] Notes about this supercombo format.
[06:38] Enter Elizabeth Gilbert.
[07:04] Liz shares who Rayya Elias was and how she's remembered her in story at The Moth.
[14:53] What kind of stories and storytellers make Liz break out in applause?
[21:05] What has Liz learned from Martha Beck?
[23:49] Staying true to one's inner compass and saying "No" without remorse.
[27:03] The simple "No" via Byron Katie.
[33:07] The wisdom of the body.
[36:56] Enter Jack Kornfield.
[37:24] Jack's connection with hang gliding and paragliding.
[40:06] Jack's childhood, abusive father, and role as family peacemaker.
[45:12] "If you're going to be angry, do it right."
[47:48] Jack's transition from pre-med to Asian studies at Dartmouth.
[49:28] From hippie to Buddhist monk.
[50:57] Psychedelics' influence on Jack's spiritual path and current stance.
[59:53] Meeting Stanislav Grof.
[1:03:32] Finding and studying under Ajahn Chah.
[1:05:59] Rookie monk training in Thailand and enduring suffering.
[1:13:49] Long silence periods and out-of-body experiences.
[1:16:37] Mystical experiences aren't always pleasant.
[1:19:15] Tim's experience at Spirit Rock.
[1:20:10] Challenges during training in Thailand and Burma.
[1:24:47] "Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed..."
[1:29:55] Advice for deep inner work with real-life responsibilities.
[1:42:04] Compassion vs. empathy.
[1:46:19] Technology's role in developing compassion.
[1:47:26] Lovingkindness meditation for Westerners.
[1:56:04] Attending the first White House Buddhist Leadership Conference.
[1:57:59] The mission of CASEL.
[1:59:18] Introducing mindfulness practice and love as a superpower.
[2:10:11] Returning to self-discovery after derailment.
[2:15:57] Apparent derailment as necessary communication.
[2:19:17] Self-talk for managing inappropriate anger.
[2:37:21] Returning to the US to study clinical psychology.
[2:42:50] Using forgiveness to help veterans and at-risk youth.
[2:45:30] Why community support beats community apathy.
[2:49:23] Lack of significant initiation rituals in modern society.
[2:53:10] Recommended book for newcomers to Jack's work.
[2:57:48] Jack's billboard.
[2:59:02] Parting thoughts.
*
For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.
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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.
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