Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

How To Make Your Mistakes Your Superpower with Daniel Pink #248

Mar 23, 2022

Daniel Pink, a bestselling author and expert in human behavior, explores the transformative power of regret. He describes how regret can serve as a catalyst for personal growth, categorizing them into four types: Boldness, Foundation, Moral, and Connection Regrets. Contrary to common belief, Dan argues that embracing regret can lead to better decision-making and greater happiness. Through personal anecdotes and research, he reveals how acknowledging these emotions can foster connections and promote self-compassion, ultimately guiding us toward a more fulfilling life.

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INSIGHT

Regret's Importance

Regret is a common human emotion, vital for learning and growth.
Only young children, people with specific brain conditions, and sociopaths lack regrets.

INSIGHT

Defining Regret

Regret is a negative emotion about past decisions, making us feel responsible for suboptimal outcomes.
Unlike mistakes, which are actions, regret is a lasting feeling signaling our values.

ANECDOTE

Mistake vs. Regret

Dr. Chatterjee shares a near-accident with his son, highlighting a mistake, not regret.
Pink explains that regret endures, unlike quickly corrected mistakes.

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What do you regret in your life? When I asked this question on social media a few weeks back, I was surprised by how many of you were quick to share the things you wish you’d done – or not done. There were others who take a ‘no regrets’ approach to life. It’s clearly a topic that resonates. And my guest on today’s podcast has an interesting and useful take on why that is.

Daniel Pink is a bestselling author and researcher specialising in human behaviour, creativity, work and business. His books have won multiple awards, have been translated into 42 different languages and he has sold millions of copies around the globe. In his latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backwards Moves Us Forwards, Dan asserts that regret is a misunderstood and useful emotion that when used correctly, can help us lead happier, more fulfilled lives. The key, he says, is to recognise it as a signal, telling us what we should do next.

Through Dan’s extensive research, he’s identified four core categories of regret. He found that no matter what the context, be it romance, career, travel or family, people’s feelings fell into one of these four camps: Boldness Regrets (‘if only I’d taken the chance’); Foundation Regrets (‘if only I’d done the work’); Moral Regrets (‘if only I’d done the right thing’) and Connection Regrets (‘if only I’d reached out’).

Society tells us not to look back and instead to focus on the positive. But Dan’s view is that regrets aren’t there to be ignored. Sitting with the discomfort of a regret allows us to unpick it and understand what our values are. No regrets, says Dan, means no growth.

We cover so many different themes throughout the conversation and Dan shares plenty of practical advice on how we can use regret to improve our now and our future.

I really enjoyed chatting with Dan and I think this is a powerful conversation that will cause you to reflect on your own life and your own relationship with regret. I hope you enjoy listening!

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Show notes available at https://drchatterjee.com/244

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