In a captivating conversation, Dr. Caroline Fleck, a clinical psychologist and Stanford instructor, dives into the transformative power of validation. She explains how it deepens relationships with children and others, using tools from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Dr. Fleck also shares personal stories highlighting the emotional growth that comes from recognizing feelings. Discover techniques for effective parenting communication and the importance of self-validation in fostering empathy and resilience.
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insights INSIGHT
DBT's Core Principle
DBT balances the emphasis on change with acceptance, crucial for those resistant to change.
This approach recognizes that individuals are doing their best while acknowledging the need for improvement.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Daughter's Perspective
Dr. Fleck's daughter feels she's changed after cancer, wanting her "old mom" back.
This illustrates difficulties in relationships, particularly when one party feels a disconnect despite the other's efforts.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Validating Children's Emotions
Validate children's emotions by reiterating and reflecting on what they express.
This helps them understand their feelings, especially when they lack the vocabulary to do so themselves.
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In this book, Dr. Aliza Pressman provides a compassionate and reassuring approach to parenting, emphasizing that there is no one 'right' way to raise good humans. The book is centered around five core principles: Relationship, Reflection, Regulation, Rules, and Repair. These principles are designed to be adaptable and aligned with the parent's own values and their children's unique temperaments. Dr. Pressman encourages parents to practice these principles to build strong relationships, reflect on their own experiences, help their children regulate emotions, establish clear rules, and repair conflicts. The book is praised for its practical advice, warmth, and evidence-based recommendations, making it a valuable resource for parents at all stages of their parenting journey.
Validation
How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life
Caroline Fleck
In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Caroline Fleck explains why validation is one of psychotherapy’s best-kept secrets. Validation is communication that is mindful, understands, and empathizes with another person's experience, thereby accepting it as valid. The book takes readers step-by-step through eight skills to communicate validation, which can improve relationships, de-escalate conflicts, increase self-compassion, and help people change their behavior. Full of ‘aha’ moments and powerful takeaways, the book reveals how the science of seeing and being seen is the key to inner and interpersonal transformation.
In this episode we sit down with clinical psychologist Dr. Caroline Fleck to talk about the power of validation—what it really means, why it’s so important, and how we can use it to strengthen our relationships with our kids, others, and even ourselves. Dr. Caroline Fleck breaks down the science behind validation, shares practical tools from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and clears up common misconceptions—like how to validate without reinforcing bad behavior. She also opens up about her own deeply personal experience with validation and repair in parenting.
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