The Science of Psychotherapy
Stuart Shanker talks self-regulation
Feb 17, 2022
Dr. Stuart Shanker, author of the Self-Reg trilogy, dives into the crucial role of self-regulation in child development. He emphasizes the difference between self-regulation and self-control, urging a compassionate perspective on children's behavior. The conversation covers how stress impacts children’s ability to delay gratification and introduces a five-step method to identify misbehavior vs. stress-induced actions. Shanker also discusses misconceptions around IQ testing and stress, offering insights into enhancing self-awareness and emotional communication.
39:26
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Quick takeaways
- Self-regulation focuses on managing stress rather than impulse control, essential for understanding children's complex behaviors in various situations.
- The self-regulation of parents and educators directly influences children's ability to cope with stress, highlighting the importance of adults managing their own stress levels.
Deep dives
Understanding Self-Regulation
Self-regulation differs significantly from self-control, focusing on how individuals manage stress rather than merely controlling impulses. This distinction is crucial in understanding children's behaviors; many misinterpret reactions to stress as willful misbehavior. When children exhibit what is perceived as bad behavior, it often stems from being overstressed rather than intentional disobedience. Recognizing this fundamental difference can help adults support rather than punish, leading to transformative outcomes for children who are struggling.
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